The Ramblings of Elyse

Hello, I'm Elyse and I'm a commuter.

I take public transport a lot. Like a lot. Mainly trains, used to be fair bit of buses, but mainly trains.

Unlike on the roads, with those drivers, we commuters don't have any written rules or actual laws. It is chaos out there! SHEER CHAOS!

And that's where I have decided to write about the rules of the commuter.

This isn't just about "I'm on a train? What of it?" This is also about those times when you are standing at a door and think "I wonder if there are rules about this?" and the answer is "YES! MOVE OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY"

So first up, the laws of the commuter.

1. They are called headphones. Invest in them, no one wants to hear your music no matter how "good" you think your music, it's not. This is not a discotheque, just stop it. My murderous train rampage will be started when I'm sitting on a train and then some douche without headphones is all "Check out the awesome Beatles Song", Helter Skelter starts and so does my murderous rampage.

2. The seats. If I am going to have to climb over you, I take no responsibility, if I a) lose balance and end up in your lap, b) stand on your foot, which may lead to point a and finally, I have a messenger bag... It can be heavy, it can hit you in the face.

These three things can be solved quite easily if you either move over or get up and let me in.

3. Personal hygiene. It's close quarters in there, often without windows. Just for the love of god, do something about it.
Or follow these simply rhyming rules: No Reeking, No Streaking.

Which follows nicely, the train is not the place for personal hygiene things. DO NOT SPRAY DEODORANT!
Seriously, close quarters with no windows. Who does that? Fuckers.
Cutting of nails or anything like that. Not the place of the train.
Just for the record, I personally don't have issues with putting make up on the train, since I understand the value of sleeping in, but don't get shitty at people who knock you and all that. You take the risk, gotta deal with the consequences.

4. Doors!
People get off the train first. Let people GET OFF THE TRAIN FIRST!
It creates better flow of traffic and more room.
If the train is packed and you are sitting on the stairs or standing in the foyer type thing, you may just have to get off the train and stand on the platform to wait for people to get off so you are not standing in the way.

People want to get off the train, you are in the way, if you get taken out, bitch, you probably deserved it.

5. Unwanted conversation.
Don't start conversations with me on the train.
I'm not a people friendly person. The train is for quiet conversation with people they know, reading, listening music through headphones and sleeping. Ok, I guess, some people do work on their laptops or watch DVDs, but these are quiet activities.

As a general rule, listening to music on your iPod or personal music device while talking to other people is exceptionally rude and shouldn't be done.

6. School kids... We hate you. Accept this, one day you'll be us and hate the next generation of school kids and the answer is yes, you were once that annoying and obnoxious. Just shut up already.

Which conveniently brings me to my next point. Doorways.

The rule of doorways... People who are getting out, have right of way. Trains, buses, elevators, classrooms. LET THE PEOPLE GO!
Then you enter.
This is the golden rule of doors.

The second golden rule of doors, is don't stand in them.
Oh, you smoke?
That's great, smoke somewhere that is not in the FUCKING DOORWAY!
People need to go in and out, and if I have my guitar case on me, I'm not going to take any prisoners.

My main issue of the day, is get out of the way of door ways.

Some general rules of commuting and walking in crowded areas:
*Stay to the left, unless over taking.
*Don't stop suddenly otherwise some people are gonna fall like dominoes and there will be tears and violence and it won't be pretty.
*If people are running, not jogging, but running coz they are running late or the like, they should dodge and weave, but it's good practice to get the fuck out of the way, because they'll hit you and fuck you up.

I believe this concludes my rant.

Just stay out of the fucking doorways, and we'll be sweet.

I don't know how well known this is but I have some pretty awesome things in my room.

I have a poster of the London Tube, as in the map, a framed picture of the Cityrail network, 2 NYC subway station signs and a postcard of Flinders St Station on a wall.
I also have two nerf swords on the wall in the cross pattern as well as a poster from an event I had to put on when I was at uni.

I also have some signs that have been made for me.

But no matter how awesome these things are the thing that is on my wall that is TRULY awesome.

Sorry, 2009 Christmas photo and Buff Cooking Team photo with quotes on the frame is that I am a certified nerd.
Yes, on my wall I have a certificate that proclaims Elyse as a nerd.

It's pretty awesome.

So there we have it. Certified nerd, what up?

That really has nothing to do with anything.

I've made it quite clear I spend way too much time on the internet, but this is a little thing about My Life is Average.

MLIA has this BIG thing about the receiving the letter from Hogwarts on your 11th birthday.
I call bullshit on this!

HARRY got his letter on HIS 11th Birthday, which is just a coincident since his birthday is a month before school starts.

You know what really proves this point?
The second book when Ginny gets her letter at the same time as everyone else gets their letter about what books they need, which happened on Harry's Birthday and I'm sure if by freak chance Ginny and Harry had the same birthday it would have been mentioned in one of the seven books, especially since Harry is normally at the Weasley's around his birthday.

Seriously gang, for people who claim to be so hip with Harry Potter you think they'd be able to put this stuff together.

All throughout school my birthday was around the last day, not the last day but it was in the last week.

I don't go around going "oh, it's your birthday, is school going to end now?" No, because that is ridiculous.

If you are going to go around making ridiculous claims on the internet claiming to be Pop Culture's bitch make sure you are a knowledgeable Pop Culture's Bitch, because Pop Culture don't look too kindly to ignorance.

I feel better about that now.
Every time I read it, it makes me sad for these people.

This brings me to my next point is Twitter is doing horrible things to me.

I like to tell stories, normally stupid things that aren't of too much importance but kind of amusing and exciting to me.

I go to tell people the stories in real life and they are all "Yeah, I read that on Twitter".
Come on, man!

This has made me infinitely a less interesting person because I only have so many stories and they normally end up on twitter.

This is not going to end well, I wasn't that interesting to begin with!



Update on my Spike Rant: Have discussed the filming. Don't know when it will happen... If it will happen. My filming schedule is a little bit backed up at the moment.

There are 5 websites that I check daily.

1. Twitter
2. Facebook
3. Hotmail
4. FMylife
5. My Life is Average

I check them on my phone on the train on the way to work/uni/where ever I happen to be on the train too.

That's just part of my routine.

I kind of enjoy FML, not by massive amounts, most of the things are definitely in the "You Deserve it" category and some are just a "dude, you need a hug coz that shit sucks". I personally use as an example of a FML is "Today, I found out my boyfriend of four years in bed with my best friend. I had suspected for months that something was going on but she always denied it. They are getting married, she asked me to be a bridesmaid. FML".

For the record, that is made up, but if I find that on FML, I'll just nod knowingly.

It's when it just goes that one thing over the top that makes it gold, it is asking the bestie to be the bridesmaid that makes my fake story for me.

Then we have My Life is Average, which I find hilarious and constantly can make me laugh a little bit. Never on the outside due to the fact I'm on a train and it's best to avoid showing emotion.

The thing with MLIA, is that it started off making fun of FML. The early posts I find much more amusing, since ACTUALLY average.
Here are some good ones:

Today on my way to work I noticed the "low fuel" warning on the dashboard. I pulled over and got some gas. MLIA
Today I checked my PO box to see if that backpack I won on eBay had arrived yet. It hadn't. MLIA
Today was a day like most other days, except that I wore a flannel shirt I found under my bed. MLIA.
Today, I was driving in the rain. I turned my windshield wipers on. MLIA

And this is the one that kind of made the site for me:

Today, I realized that I am unemployed, live with my mother, play video games all day in my basement, and I am still a virgin. It's alright, I finish 9th grade next week. MLIA

This is the one I always use an example:

Today I had rice. I'm asian. MLIA

That one is a real MLIA.

These days MLIA has changed and is all fantastical things, I often doubt they really happen but then I remember the kind of things I do and my friends, then realise, totally could happen.

They are my websites, then one day, I was on a train. Such a new and different event for me, but I was on the way home from the City, when it occured to me that the main reason I go to the City was to go to Pancakes on the Rocks with my friends.
My life isn't average, my life is fucked, my life isn't awesome. MY LIFE IS DELICIOUS!

That's what started it all.
So now, whenever I tweet some good food stories, I end it with MLID.

Because, food is awesome.

Food is a big part of everyone's life, you know, helping us continue to live and all that, but food in itself is awesome.

When I want to catch up with my friends I always suggest going to dinner. There is always some kind of food involved.
My family doesn't give presents for birthdays, but will generally go out for dinner.

Food as a social medium is just awesome.
Food has a associations with so many things, but that is just the act of the meal.

Then there is the food itself. GOOD FOOD, is just unbelievable.
It's like walking into a house and you can smell dinner.
I love walking into the house when Mum is making spagehetti bolangese, which is my least favourite of the pastas, it smells just very good.

I use my Mum's example because she uses more garlic than Dad, and garlic cooking is one of the greatest smells ever.

Mmm... Garlic... Love it!
Roast lamb cooking is also a great smell.

Right now I am just having a montage about great food.

The great thing about food is that isn't just about the taste.

There is also the smell and sound.
The sound is obviously more a cooking process, but I love the sound of French Toast cooking.
The smell also great.

There is just a process.

It's not just one thing that can make the life delicious.
Some times events go to make food better.
Birthday cake is always better then regular cake.

The experience of food is what makes my life delicious.

From the pancakes that I have promised to make on twitter, to the long stack challenge that is regularly performed to the Vienna Schnitzel with just lemon and a fine beer to go with to that fancy dinner to celebrate various things.

Food has been made an enemy and it doesn't have to be. Food is our friend, there are limits of course, but that is a topic for another time.


My food stories have made my life delicious.
What makes your life delicious?



We have a facebook group. Join!

Hi, my name is Elyse and I spend way too much on public transport.
What does that mean?

That I spend a large percentage of my day reading, up to three hours a day. That's quite a chunk of time, in fact it is a 12th of my day, factoring in the fact I sleep for 8 hours. That is roughly a 5th of my waking hours.
Ok, it doesn't bother me, sometimes I enjoying working out the maths. Each to their own, is it not?

Interesting, spellcheck doesn't recognise "doesn't". It's freaking me out now.
If that's not a word, it is now. Take that dictionary!

The point of the mentioning of the train?
I spend a lot of time on trains, I read while on the train.
At the moment I am going through the classics or what are considered the great novels. I've just completed Lord of the Flies by William Golding.

My first experience with this novel comes from the episode of the Simpsons where they rip off the plot or as they call it "Parody". It was very distracting as I started reading it the line "Go banana" was in my head, it was amusing at first but then I wanted to get further into it. Later I was forced to watch it in Legal Studies. I watched the first half and was absent when the class watched the second half, well physically absent for the second half, mentally absent the first half. That is all in the past and I got over legal studies by dropping it the moment I could.

I had seen the title thrown around a lot and in my quest at the library I came across the novel and added it to my pile. Not all my pile is in the classics, I like to mix it up.
I read fast and that combined with my copious amounts of time on Public transport allows me to get through books very quickly. Last week I finished a book in one day, that did kind of freak me out but what can ya do?

Anyway! Lord of the Flies!
Thoughts and what not.
I liked the concept of the Lord of the Flies and what happens when the rules of society are thrown out, different rules form!
People like to think they are above animals in many ways, but ultimately, we are go in the pack. A pack directed by consciousness and thought as opposed to purely on instinct. That's what happened. There are leaders and there are followers and it is the strong that set the rules.
Those who fight for equally in the world are the downtrodden, who don't want equally they want to better themselves and want to be better than someone.
I think if we were taken out of this world and placed in a location free of rules we'd create them and there will be leaders and followers, because social animals fall into packs.

I'm fascinated by social commentaries. Fascinated!
I loved the entire tribe thing and how the discontent arose and all that went with it. The pack mentality was chilling, when they killed Simon. That was hardcore. Pack mentality is a scary thing.
The majority generally don't cause too much trouble, but when the masses are pissed off, that is when trouble happens. That is the nature of revolution! The French Revolution and the Russian Revolution, though probably more of the Russian Revolution of 1905, which was suppressed by the Army. It was in 1917 when the army wouldn't fight because that the Tsar had no other choice but to abdicate.

I'm a little disappointed in the ending. It seemed very sudden. Ralph is fighting for his life and then all of a sudden he runs into a naval dude and that's what stops the warring?
I think that the group would have taken out the lone naval officer. I got the impression that there was only one navy guy, it's a matter of numbers and passion. Numbers and passion will generally beat training.
I'd also like to know that once Jack faced defeat and going back to the place of not being the Chief and how that would be affected. He would be going back to nothing and that's not even dealing with the fact that he directly responsible for the death of two innocents. There others also have to deal with that, then again, what is worse those who issue the orders of death or those who follow them and actually take the life?
It's a life for a life in some ways, if the ordered don't carry through with it than the chance of them losing their life is quite high. Most people the sense of self preservation is higher than the morals against murder.
It's not right, but it's instinct and we can only overcome instinct so many times.

I had no closure, I'm really curious to know what will happen in the aftermath. Was there a sequel and how would the sequel work. If it would work at all. Not all sequels do. Though, it depends on intentions, most sequels in terms of film are made not for the sake of the story but because there is money to be made.
The resolution was that they were rescued, but I don't think they are saved.
They lost their innocence in a way that most people will go their lives without losing.
I'm also curious to know how long they were on the island for, it was enough for the short boys hair to grow enough to require being tied back.

It was interesting on how the title could be, in my limited knowledge of Lord of the Flies, I figured it was the title that the leader of the boys assumed that title to lord it over them. Not quite. It was interesting that it wasn't that, but I do enjoy the depiction of madness from the view of the character going mad and how there is a sense of logic even if isn't the logic associated with sanity.

Apparently, I don't seem like a reader.
I've never gotten how some can make a judgement like that. I also look like a meat pie person.
For the record, I don't like meat pies.

This concludes my thoughts of the day.
Whether, I'll write again depends on what books I next stumble on in the library.

I'll take requests and recommendations.