The Ramblings of Elyse

I love Google.

I'm not going to lie, I love Google more than I love a lot of things.
In fact, I am going to give you a list of things I love in order.

1. Patrick Joe and my other assorted musical instruments
2. Buffy
3. Google
4. Adam (He is dreamy)
5. Angel Muppet
6. My loyal readers

I wonder how many people are going to get offended by number 4 there.
I imagine that I'm gonna get sent a message being all like "Why do you love Adam more than me?", so Loyal Readers, I love you too.

I once declared my love for Google to one of my friends and I said "what doesn't Google know?" and Lexi was all "how to love?"
I took this as a challenge, and did what any other sane person would do.

I googled "How to Love".

And I thank God every day that I did that because now, now I know how to love.

Thank you, WikiHow, now I know how to love.
And it evens includes a picture to help you on the way.

I feel more equipped for the world knowing the 6 steps of love and I will go through the six steps and followed by how it is going to help me love Google more. KT, feel free to replace your name with Google if that will make you feel better.

1. Saying it.... (Google, I love you. I heart you. I less than three you! )


2. Empathize.... (Yes, Google you are a website. I understand that is what you do and that may impact how you do things)

3. Love Unconditionally... (Google, I will love you, even though I know that sometimes you won't give me the right answers in my first attempt and it might take me several attempts to get there but I know we will eventually get there.. TOGETHER. I will love you through all of that.)

4. Expect nothing in return... (Google, I understand that you are a website and many people love you, they love you as their outlet to the web, in their quest for knowledge, to find out so many things, you lead the way. I'd be naive to think that I'd be the only person to love you and I know, that you are a website, who helps so many and could love so many that, I know this love may be unrequited. But it is something... It is something...)

5. Realise it can be lost... (Dear Google, I know there will be day where your awesome searching abilities will be beaten by something or the internet dies, but I will live in the now where our love is strong. All my love, Elyse)

6. Never stop loving... (There's always Yahoo!)



Now, this knowledge combined with another helpful page I found on WikiHow.
Seriously guys, WikiHow... It will teach you how to live...

And also apparently help you pick up...

How to hug a guy... ROMANTICALLY>....

Hot.

I don't think it's really Ramblings of Elyse to go through this blog, I don't want to corrupt the minds of the readers...
But readers, just remember if you are planning to go out, find yourself a man to hug just keep these in mind.

• If you don't think you're ready to try all of this, don't worry. Wait until you're ready - then you can really enjoy it all.
• Don't force the hug. He might not be ready for it, so just wait for another time.
• Don't attack the guy. Show him how you feel, but let him take the lead.
• If things go past either of your limits, stop it right away and let each other know how far your limits are.
• Don't hurt the guy. And don't let him hurt you. Everyone has their squeeze limit.
• Only apply this to a guy you actually like. Never toy with a guy's feelings, especially if it's because you want to make someone else jealous. It never ends well.
• Make sure that he actually likes you because if he doesn't,it will be really awkward in the end.

Ok, I don't want to appear sexist, I'll see what I can find out for the boys.



I'm back! Ok... I guess you couldn't really tell if I left.

One thing this lesson has taught me is that man, I am such a whore, I give up my hugs so easily.
I don't think Jesus hugged anyone like that.

So, Boys, how to hug a girl. 
Everything you need to know about how to hug a girl...
Now, this isn't about hugging romantically, but I think it could be renamed "How to pick up with your hugs".

But it does warn me:
""Couple" status is not a requirement for hugging a girl, but you should at least be on familiar terms with her. Hugs between opposite-gender friends are often reserved for more significant moments, such as when parting before moving away, or returning after a long absence. Still, as long as you are respectful toward her, an occasional hug is probably fine. If it is too awkward for one or both of you, it may be best to avoid initiating one, but don't rule out the possibility of a hug being appropriate at some later point."

The best way to make sure we all know what the hug is "if it is just a friendly hug, don't hold on for more than 3 seconds and laugh when you let go".



Good to know, WikiHow, Good to know.

I'll be paying attention to this now when I go to hug some boys. Yeah, that's right... I said plural. What up? 


You've taught me that I should just stick to my Christian Side Hugs...



Yes, I can't get enough of that video and EMBEDDING! What's not to love?

OkWikiHow from the not Relationships section...

Here's a good one.
How to avoid being shot by a Police Officer
I have some good advice for this.

Don't break the law. Don't carry weapons. If there is a cop with their gun out, don't be a douche.
Simple advice.


And finally, something I can use in my every day life.

I realise that is the assumption that you actually click on the list.
If it helps, one of the tips is "Don't be a geek, or a nerd. Be well liked among your class, by chatting and giggling with everyone. Make sure everyone has heard of your name before!"

I wonder if I can get tips on being a nerd...
Oh... They do. Awesome.

Way to perpetuate stereotypes, Internet! 

Armed with knowledge...
ONWARDS we go!

It came to the realisation a little while ago, when I got sent one of those emails that are all "You know you are old when... "

And it occured to me, just how many people I know that are teachers.
No, not just studying to be teachers, but actual "why did they put you in front of a classroom because it didn't seem that long ago when you were 12".

Ok, that last part is a lie.
But if really hit home when I was in the car with one of my friends and we were talking about her classes, ok, it was more specifically how bad at writing her class was. Then it was like, dude, when did this happen?

I remember when you made fun of my for a year because our first conversation involved me swearing at you. It was a year later that she apologised because it was in fact, the SECOND question of the sharegroup, that I swore in.
The person who I rightfully declare stranger than me, but alas, in charge of corrupting the minds.

I don't remember how I old I was, but it was the point where I had more friends that were teachers then students and it was like, dude, I am old.
That being said, the stories of teachers are much more hilarious than students.

But that is just a bit of pretense for what this is about.
On Twitter I follow 1000 Awesome things and I love it, because of things like number 974 on the list.

High Tens.
And when thinking about it, it's like, yeah, High Tens ARE awesome!
The thing that makes it truly art, is this description:

First off, higher chance of looking stupid: You throw a high five up there and no one answers it, no problem. You just put your hand nonchalantly back in your pocket, scratch your head, or swipe it through the side of your hair, Fonzie-style. No one notices you covered it up and all is well. But you throw a high ten up there and you get left hanging? Well now you just look foolish — like you’re trying to get the wave started at your kid’s T-ball game or just airing out your pits.

I'm a big fan of the high five.
Love it!
I have one friend who I like high five all the time in conversation, Ok, it's McFly... Who we need to peer pressure into getting a blog so I can talk about her and shamelessly promote the blog. Come on bro, you know you want in on some of that action.

Now, McFly, loves to deny my high five action when she doesn't agree with the call. Yes, I have stood there with my hand out there waiting as she death stared my raised hand.
That happens surprisingly often...
I don't think that it helps that I go in knowing my high five won't be met with the high five action.

But the High Ten...
The HIGH TEN!

It is awesome! Because it is a much more satisying result.
The clap at the end?
Yeah, that is we just did something awesome and we need to celebrate.

Now, I can talk about the stuff in the book of awesome all the time, because it is a list of things that ARE awesome, but when you think of awesome things, they aren't the first thing that come to mind.

Yeah, I love a high ten moment, but it's not going to be something that when someone goes to me "Think of some awesome things in your life".

It's not on that list.
Then again, I got nothing for that list.
But it's not the point.

So, I was hanging on Twitter, as I so often do when I'm at work and umm... working hard.
For the record, I make a lot of dubs of stuff, so I generally have a dub on while I'm doing stuff at my desk so I'm able to multi task with the being on the internet.
You leave my justification out of this!

When I read today's awesome thing. That Teacher.

Nothing make me tears up more like inspiriational stories.
When I was in New York, I went to some sporting museum thing near Wall St... It might have been on Wall St.
They had a montage of something about how sporting teams bring people together and communities together. Something about the NFL team in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina, as well as something about the wives of soliders in Iraq playing some kind of sport.
It was a montage! ABOUT BRINGING PEOPLE TOGETHER! Through sports!

It was then I discovered that I can't watch that stuff without tearing up.
It was inspirational! Montage!

Yeah, I'm pretty sure you can get me the most ridiculous montage and put some slow inspiring music with some interviews about how together people are and I'd lose it a little bit.

I get that feeling a lot when I read the Awesome thing, but the teacher thing was awesome because it had the email from the teacher going "hey, I think I taught you" and dude, that shit is awesome.

The everlasting memory I'll have of teachers is of my yr 11 and 12 English teacher, who made despise English in new and exciting ways.
I walked out of school convinced I could not write and that whatever I wrote was terrible, I still often think that but I've come to the conclusion, it's not actually true.
I think it came to the point when my boss asked me to write something for the show and I said "but I can't write, why would you get me to do that?" and he just said "who told you you couldn't write?"
And the answer is, I'm not sure, but it's a belief I picked up somewhere along the way and it's only been a recent thing where I've tried to break it.
It was pretty much last week where I realised just how wrong I was when it occured to me, I've never failed an assignment, I have a degree and I've never failed an assignment. I've also never proofread an assignment. As soon as I've finished writing, I print and hand out. The only times I've editted where on group assignments where I called the role of editor and even that, it was never my own work.
So I must do ok for that not to happen.

I have thought about school too much recently and I'm not entirely sure what.
I think it's that next week I'm going to dinner with my two school friends and it's weird.
The are the only two people I see that I went to school with and I see them every 3 to 6 months and it's also generally the three of us. Only thing is those two are total besties.
They know EVERY thing about each other's lives and I'm just there with my witty repoirte and sarcastic commentaries about the drama. My life has no direct drama, I just get caught in the peripheries of it.
That being said, I stopped organising stuff with them a long time ago and it's nice to know that even when things don't really fit and it won't be the same, that every now and then I get a message saying "let's go get dead cow" and it always features dead cow, just for me.
So, I'm conflicted with it.

I feel very odd discussing school stuff since it was so long ago, but I'm sure I'll get over it.

I'm not sure how tangent filled this was, for me, fairly light on.
Good times.

This is the greatest website ever.

Click the link.
For more of the awesomeness!

So there I was sitting at my desk looking at the internet on my phone. It was twitter... That's not actually blocked on my computer, so I just can't explain it.

But alas there it was, a post from the delightful Lexi, I'd link but you know, she constantly has stalker issues. Man, it was hard work getting on to that roster for my stalking Lex needs... oh... I just typed that.
umm.. hi!

So yeah, I was reading stuff from Lexi about her resisting the urge to pat the drug sniffing dog at the station.

Now, I've been wanting to write this post for awhile and that triggered my memory.

What's the etiquette for dogs?
My boss frequently brings in his dogs to the office. He has two chocolate brown poodles, one is like a tea cup so is tiny. They are both very, very cute.
I have no problem playing with said dogs because they are super cute and I know my boss.
Though, the other day while in fucking Maroubra, I saw someone walking their dog and it was a massive husky... A MASSIVE HUSKY! SO CUTE!
I just want to go and pat it and maybe steal it, but you know... I can generally resist that urge.

Then it comes to working dogs.
I don't think it's become apparent yet, but little dogs creep me out. Something about a dog fitting into a handbag is wrong. I totally just typed hangbad, which is hilarious and very wrong, but not the point.
Little dogs in handbags, what the hell world? What the hell!
So yeah, big dogs... Awesome!
Thus, seeing the workin' dogs?
Fricken awesome since guide dogs are generally Labradors and police dogs German Shepherds.... they have another name which takes out the word German, but I don't remember what.

There is a blind guy at the station in the morning sometimes and i see him with his guide dog. His dog never seems all happy and joyful, so I just want to pat it and play with it, but he is a working dog!

The worst case I ever had of wanting to play with a guide dog was when I was at mass one day helping out with music in Newcastle and there was a blind guy with a Black Lab sitting like directly in front of me. He'd like sit and laydown as well. Very cute.

Though, the drug sniffing dogs are the station are my favourite because German Shepherds! I think they are one of my favourite breeds of dogs.
So, obviously, my bag and I get sniffed and I pass, it's the whole drug free thing. This I almost feel should give me a pass to let me pat the dog, however, they are working and that would be weird.
I don't like it when people come into my place of work and just like stare at me. Sometimes I do get patted by my boss, but I imagine the same thing happens with the police dogs.
Man, that last part. Not a lie.

My rule when it comes to dogs is to resist the urge and unless they are in my general vicinity to leave them be. However, if some dog comes up to me all pat me! Give me attention, then all bets are off.

I think I might visit my brother's puppy...

In conclusion, I am going to have to spend more time at this website. LOLDogs... way better than lolcats.

There is an epic debate that rages on the internet, Ninja vs Pirate?

To anyone that knows me, I'm pro-pirate. I'm very pro-pirate.

So, when it comes to the 19th of September, it is a glorious day. GLORIOUS!
This Saturday, I did intend spend the day dressed as a pirate... Apparently, I also looked like Peter Pan and Captain Feathersword.
I get that last comment a lot, I think it might be the fact I have a Captain Feathersword hat. Though, it is the only tri-point hat I've found. I'm talking real hat, some kind of material.
If I found a proper pirate hat it would be awesome!

Well, funnily enough, I have one. I have a Captain Sparrow pirate hat, complete with attached dreadlocks, which is cool. But it's weird. I have long hair that is apparently blonde (sigh...) which means it doesn't blend in easy and looks weird, the obvious solution is to cut off the hair, but then what would my parents say since it was a gift from them?
Funny story, my parents went to America last year and went to Disneyland in that trip. My three siblings got leather jackets and I got a pirate hat. Yeah, yeah.
That's not favouritism at all!
Well, the leather jackets were apparently on sale for ridiculously cheaply and didn't have my size, so thus, I got pirate hat, which is indeed awesome.
However, it's the hair attached. I don't know how I feel about it.

Once again, I was distracted in the middle of writing.
I need to stop doing that... which means I should write at home or the train or something.
My bad.

But in the spirit of all great events, there should be cake or pictures of cake... stolen from websites.
This is a link to Cake Wrecks, awesome site and this is the Pirate themed cakes and damn they are awesome.
I want one!

Today, I cracked out for the first time my "I'm Blogging this" shirt.

The excellent photos will come soon, ok, maybe not on here but definitely on the internet. I call it facebook. Then again, I suppose I could use my flickr account for non-Buffy related motivators. Though, my BtVS motivators are hilarious.

I'm part of a Buffy forum, this is what we do. We call it Graphics!Crack. Like Magic!Crack but without the crappy plot lines.

Oh, right. Point.

So, tonight, we were hanging out with heroin, yeah we were, when James came across the most inspiring text I have ever read.

The inspirational story of Aaron Hoffman. It is beyond words.
In fact the only words I have for it is to tell you what the new Antioch theme will be.

The Story of Aaron Hoffman, our weekend will be dedicated to him with talks featuring how we should answer Aaron Hoffman's call, Med on life as Aaron Hoffman, Being Aaron Hoffman, God's Image aka Aaron Hoffman, Mission (to be Hoffman), Works of Aaron Hoffman.

Big dreams, we can only hope that we can fill the legendary shoes of Mr Aaron Hoffman, the Restaurant manager trainer of the year of 2008 at Hungry Jacks... I think, I don't know, I was also messing around on my laptop.

For the bio-pic, I'm thinking Tom Hanks as Aaron Hoffman, Dustin Huffman with Will Smith playing the arch-nemesis (spellcheck suggestions: archness, archbishop, archaeologists, archeologist)

And that dear faithful readers.. reader? Internet? Whatever....
Is the story of why I should be careful of the shirts I'm wearing combined with injokes as well as an outlet for rambling.

'til next time...