The Ramblings of Elyse

I'm the type of person that quite often listens to the one song over and over and over again.
In fact, I know why I do this and it is up there with my three things I do most when things are not doing all that well. Well, I guess it depends on what song it is, but if we are generalising.

The other thing that tends to happen is that I have massive associations with songs and associate them with various people.

Right now I am struggling to think of an example, but I have associations and certain songs go in certain places and with certain things and that's just how it rolls.
Come to think of it, I've written about the placement of songs before and the heavy associations with them in terms of film and Television, clearly talking about Buffy.

The same thing applies to other people, if only because it's my goal to learn how to play "(Do you wanna date my) Avatar" on Guitar. The acoustic version, obviously.
Which is on YouTube somewhere.

I can kind of play it, but I'm not very good with the words.

Which gets me to this point.
I'm currently listening to the Bond Theme on repeat.

It's part of an assignment that I'm currently avoiding doing, but the funny thing is how I can fake this as researching, when I'm really just listening to the one song over and over again.

My ultimate aim is to stop it from making me want to walk into a room and shoot the camera, because that would hurt my camera, and I'm not wearing a suit.

That and there is clearly not enough room in my room to pull it off as successfully as I want, so alas, not attempts to get me to try and make my own Bond credits.

That and I'd need to think of the title of what movie, I'd be in and that's just not where I'm creative.

Basically, this song is going to get in my head and I'm going to be starting walking strangely and then shooting people.

We can only hope that I manage to get a license to kill and am not arrested and horribly tortured trying to reveal my spy contacts.
Where would I apply to get a license to kill?
Do I need to talk to Gladys Knight?

That is quite possibly the worst attempt I could ever make at trying to be funny.

Maybe I should just move on, write this 600 words about the texture of the Bond Theme, so I can stop listening to it.


Dear the Monty Norman Orchestra,

Please don't die in my brain.

Regards,
Elyse.

My blog is going to very quickly become "Elyse's Rambling about Buffy" and I think I'll love it.

There was a bit of Twitter contraversay about my last post, from Mr Cheezy McWang who posted this:

@Superflyse Why is that my fault? PS I found a Buffy lore error in the rant so obscure I may be the only person who noticed. Go me!

And then it was on!

I know Mr McWang... who I'm never refering to as that again.
He hasn't even seen all of Buffy, he is working his way through it, but has asked me a number of the finer pointer questions.

It's cool, just how I roll, I know my Buffy trivia.. Except for what colour socks Buffy wears in Killed by Death as she leaves her hospital room to go after Der Kindestod. Stupid question!

Oh, sorry. That wasn't important.

But I was called out, my Buffy knowledge QUESTIONED, by what?

This is what came next:
"@Superflyse Willow didn't kill Warren. Bam."

One thing I will forever do is call bullshit on this one.
Yeah, they try and take that away in the comics that one.

Apparently, in the Season 8 comics, it is revealed in a shocking twist that Willow DID not kill Warren but in fact was save at the point on incineration by Amy.
You remember Amy, she appears in about 9 episodes. Witch, Bewitched Bothered and Bewildered, Gingerbread, Something Blue (HILARIOUS! Ok, Elizabeth Anne Allen, we are going to get you to come back, but you are only going to be in one scene, have no lines and be completely naked. You cool with that?), Smashed, Wrecked, Doublemeat Palace, and the Killer in Me.

Want to know why these things are important?
Because Amy is a tool to the plot!
She is a character plot device.
I love her so, she is my favourite plot device, but her character is very inconsistent.

Like Magic in the Buffyverse! What up!

The character development of Amy never made sense, and her reason for revenge with Willow in Season 7 is so messed up, but the power of Season 7 compared to Willow, the apparent greatest witch eva in the history of the world?
That just doesn't add up.

What also doesn't add up?
AMY DOESN'T KNOW WHO WARREN IS! Why would she save him from Willow?

More importantly, Willow flays Warren and then incinerates him, yeah, she does that. I think she's gonna notice and be pissed if her revenge isn't fulfilled.

Please.
She hunted him down and tortured him, you don't let the corpse of the dude you murder just get away with that.

Oh wait, the thing is, Warren isn't actually dead.
What the hell?
No seriously, what the hell?

The biggest mark as against this is that The First in Season Seven appears as Warren. ON MULTIPLE OCCASIONS! Lessons in the Big Bad line up at the end and then more notably in Conversations with Dead People to Andrew to convince good ol' Andy to kill Jonathon.

The First can ONLY appear as dead people, that's it's entire schtick.
Appearin' as dead people to fuck around with people. As seen in Amends, and then season seven.

If Warren isn't dead because of some kind of twist in the comics then it messes around with so much that happened in Season Seven.

Warren as the First was a MAJOR plot point, I personally think it was misdirected and could be used much more awesomely against Willow, but whatevs.

So that is the direct mistake of why the Warren not being dead is messed up.

The implication is that Willow is no longer a murderer. She didn't murder anyone, which kind of destroys her arc of season 7 of having to deal with that and deal with all the guilt that went with it.
I'm not saying they did it well, because Season Seven is a schmoozle, but it was still important.


I haven't read the comics, but I do know what happens in them.

They are not my cannon. They will never be my cannon because of that very reason.

My Buffy lore is the 7 Seasons that appeared on Television. There is a whole world of various comics and associated work, it doesn't mean a thing unless it was on the air.

That's my stance on Season 8 Comics, I call it "I call bullshit".

I'm actually a little bit excited to be writing today, for a few reasons and I shall list them.

1. It has been a while, I've been on twitter a fair bit and I don't think in 140 Characters, I'm a rambler, it's just how I roll. So much so I could make this point about 3 words but that just doesn't seem right to me, so thus I don't.

2. I actually have a topic to write about, which just odd.

3. I give into peer pressure.

They are my three reasons.

Today is going to be link heavy and those links will by sponsored by YouTube. So they are videos, so just a heads up.

Over the years, I've spent a very long time on the internet, I've done many things and one of my greatest hobbies is random linkage. I've discovered and lost so many great things over the years but one of my favourites has always been the literal versions of film clips.
Which is the film clip of a song, they are generally from the '80s due to the sheer oddness of the 80s film clips.
It was the 80s, MTV was in it's prime and the film clip was an important part of getting music out there and had developed into just being really, really odd. Oh, the 80s, I love you so.

And by love, I mean love to mock. We got that, right?

I'm not sure who makes them, I think the first one I found was on Collegehumor.com and was for the delightfully 80s song Take on Me by A-Ha. Those links are completely misleading, but as your faithful blogger here, shouldn't we trust me?

Well, no. I guess not. Here's the link for the Literal Version, the other ones or for some background listening and well, because the Reel Big Fish are fricken awesome.


That is the literal version, years ago I thought it was hilarious. There was also a link for another song but I can't remember the song, thus pretty pointless.
That was many years ago and life was different.

Then came a day...

I was at work one day and we were discussing various promo lines we could use, for those playing at home this is the land of bad puns, and the particular teaser we were writing was for a caravan park, it might have been a caravan show, that's not important and one of the suggestions thrown around was "Caravan of Love".
That sounds kind of dirty and I believe my comment was that it wouldn't fit into our G Rating.
Apparently, it was a song... From the 80s.
I decided to YouTube it, as so often happens when I'm at work, so off to YouTube I went and that's when I found it. The Greatest 80s Film Clip of All Time.
THE GREATEST!

I saw it and my heart melted like the polar ice caps will due to Global Warming. Now, I know what you are thinking... "Elyse, this is a terrible, terrible song... Are you high?"
The answer is yes and no, I'm not high.

I love it BECAUSE it's dodgy.
My favourite thing is the literal dance moves, yes, this is the original version of the film clip. The actual standing up at the line "Stand Up".
Seriously, what is not to love?
Unless, you are one of those crazy people who can't see humour in this kinds of things. That just makes me sad for you.

I have the film clip on my iPod now and if I'm ever having a bad day, I watch it on the train and laugh hysterically (on the inside because I believe in Train Etiquette).

Love it!

I took my knew found knowledge and love for this brilliant 80s clip to someone who I know dodgyily brilliant film clips as well, and we discussed, his opinion was "it was good, but the film clip for "Total Eclipse of the Heart" was the ultimate winner".
I see his point, but come on man, the dude has a cross shaved in his head which he reveals in the most dramatic move ever.

It's like I directed the clip.

I compared, I contrasted and then I played Random Linkage. I need to find a better name for that.
And that's where I found this, which is so much greater than the actual film clip, it is the Literal Version of Total Eclipse of the Heart.
I have this one on my iPod as well, this one I share the love a lot for.

This clip reignited my love for the literal film clip and then I looked at the related videos and there were more of them!
MORE!

Not just the Take on Me clip!
But so many literal videos!

Random comments about those clips: 80s songs are clearly the best songs to use. Seriously, what is with the Daydream Believer one?
Just odd.

My favourite part of those has to be the description of the dance break in Love is a Battlefield.
The Lion King theme of Creed is just weird, I'm just gonna assume it's some MLIA obsessed kid


The meme is becoming very disturbing and the longer it goes the lower in quality it becomes. I'm not going to lie, if it doesn't start off well, I tend not to listen to the rest of it. Which is why, I actually haven't looked at ALL the clips because I really don't like James Blunt. His voice is whiny and the guy that sang as him managed to be even more whiny. It was just an example!

There is one exception to this, when the version is so bad, that you can't turn away or the Train Wreck.

I present to you the Train Wreck of Literal Versions.
The literal version of Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne.
Now, just so we are clear, I have nothing against Avril except her pseudo-punk thing REALLY annoys me. I like her ballads and when she actually tries to sing and do that kind of thing as opposed to her upbeat things which just annoy me to know end.
The Girlfriend clip is everything I don't like about Avril Lavigne.
So much about the clip I don't like, especially that the "punk" Avril ends up with the dude at the end even though she is a bitch and the dude doesn't seem into her.

Those are my own issues with with can be neatly summarisied with a nice "Shut up, Avril" but that is not what makes this Literal Version awful.

Go back and take it in, click the link, take a moment and really take in the badness that is the song.

It's ok, I'll wait.
In fact, why you are doing that, I'll watch it myself, just to refresh my memories.







So, we are done?
Ready to discuss.

First thing is first, it is a biased literal video and while some of the other versions, which in my mind are the Classic Liter Videos" of Total Eclipse of the Heart, Take on Me and whatever Meatloaf song that was.
Which is basically just a literal version of what is happening without outside commentary, which kind of comes into play with the anti-Avril vibes.
That being said I do enjoy the "I'm pretty sure that's not how Newton's Laws of Motion Work". That line is just gold.
As is "Why won't someone call security"
Then again, I just maybe overly sensitive to the phrase "Guitars make me feel cooler". Coz dude, guitars make me feel cooler.
In fact the coolest I will ever look is a photo of me playing electric guitar.

All of that is pretty meaningless, the main reason why I find it an absolute train wreck is because it sounds like an absolute train wreck.
I'm pretty sure it is derailing as it plays.
The audio quality of the track is TERRIBLE.
I've heard some poor quality audio, but that is just a new level.
It's all distorted and bad and the singer needs to just move the microphone back. It can pick you up, just please stop screaming it... I just have no words.

I'm also not entirely sure if it is actually the song, it is vaguely similar, but if push came to shove, I do not think that the song that is singing sounds like "Girlfriend" Avril Lavigne.

And the harmonies are horrible.

The performance of this song is beyond bad.
I have no words to define just how bad the actual version of the song is.

Which is a shame since some of the lines, as noted above, are just hilarious.

That and LEAVE AVRIL ALONE!!
Except Girlfriend, someone needs to slap her for that.


That concludes this super long post.

As an added bonus, I offer you this clip, which the literal version just failed to acknowledge the complete randomness of the clip.
This one doesn't make me angry. It just disappoints me.


Until Next time, I'm Elyse and this is where my rants go to die.

So there I was sitting at my desk looking at the internet on my phone. It was twitter... That's not actually blocked on my computer, so I just can't explain it.

But alas there it was, a post from the delightful Lexi, I'd link but you know, she constantly has stalker issues. Man, it was hard work getting on to that roster for my stalking Lex needs... oh... I just typed that.
umm.. hi!

So yeah, I was reading stuff from Lexi about her resisting the urge to pat the drug sniffing dog at the station.

Now, I've been wanting to write this post for awhile and that triggered my memory.

What's the etiquette for dogs?
My boss frequently brings in his dogs to the office. He has two chocolate brown poodles, one is like a tea cup so is tiny. They are both very, very cute.
I have no problem playing with said dogs because they are super cute and I know my boss.
Though, the other day while in fucking Maroubra, I saw someone walking their dog and it was a massive husky... A MASSIVE HUSKY! SO CUTE!
I just want to go and pat it and maybe steal it, but you know... I can generally resist that urge.

Then it comes to working dogs.
I don't think it's become apparent yet, but little dogs creep me out. Something about a dog fitting into a handbag is wrong. I totally just typed hangbad, which is hilarious and very wrong, but not the point.
Little dogs in handbags, what the hell world? What the hell!
So yeah, big dogs... Awesome!
Thus, seeing the workin' dogs?
Fricken awesome since guide dogs are generally Labradors and police dogs German Shepherds.... they have another name which takes out the word German, but I don't remember what.

There is a blind guy at the station in the morning sometimes and i see him with his guide dog. His dog never seems all happy and joyful, so I just want to pat it and play with it, but he is a working dog!

The worst case I ever had of wanting to play with a guide dog was when I was at mass one day helping out with music in Newcastle and there was a blind guy with a Black Lab sitting like directly in front of me. He'd like sit and laydown as well. Very cute.

Though, the drug sniffing dogs are the station are my favourite because German Shepherds! I think they are one of my favourite breeds of dogs.
So, obviously, my bag and I get sniffed and I pass, it's the whole drug free thing. This I almost feel should give me a pass to let me pat the dog, however, they are working and that would be weird.
I don't like it when people come into my place of work and just like stare at me. Sometimes I do get patted by my boss, but I imagine the same thing happens with the police dogs.
Man, that last part. Not a lie.

My rule when it comes to dogs is to resist the urge and unless they are in my general vicinity to leave them be. However, if some dog comes up to me all pat me! Give me attention, then all bets are off.

I think I might visit my brother's puppy...

In conclusion, I am going to have to spend more time at this website. LOLDogs... way better than lolcats.

Back in 2006, it was an Antioch Weekend. It was a pirate theme, but that is not the point of this story, in my sleep group there was this recruit who was a theology student or something, but at some point on the Saturday night we were discussing interventions.
And it was at that point I was taught that the intervention is all about "I" statements.

I should have learnt that previously due to the episode of Buffy entitled "Revelations", the episode called Intervention isn't until later in the series.

So that is when I learnt about interventions. It wasn't straight away when I started giving them. I believe I started just saying I knew how to give one. I think it's best not to try and interpret the timeline of my obsessions, it will never end well.

We always made a big joke about the whole self obsessed nature of interventions, because it always seemed so hilarious.
I think that attitude all changed in February, when I gave what I guess was an impromptu intervention, which was really more of a "what the fuck are you doing?" and the whole you are fucking up your life had no impact because it is a "What of it", the belief that it is my life and I'll do what I like with it is the response.
Then as soon as a pointed out the negative effects on other people, not just in terms of the emotional "it upsets me" thing, but the hard cold, indisputable facts that is what made them shut up and listen.
I think it has completely messed up my relationship with them, but those are the consequences that happen.

It has got me thinking two, one of why interventions are so self centred, because that is what make people stand up and notice that actions affect everyone and the infamous butterfly effect. Nothing exists in a vacuum and it is the thing I forget most when engaged in my theatre of pain.
The second is, what is my role in all of this?

I'm self centred, yes, I'm only human, faults and all that is one of them.
It keeps coming back to the fact that I seem to be an impact player. I'm not in this for the long haul. I can't be in it for the long haul because it's not how I operate.
I'll come off the bench, shake up the nature of the game and then go back to the bench.
I have plenty of other metaphors to use, but I probably should stop it there.

Some times I have too many thoughts.

Some days you don't want to admit that you are addicted to the internet.

I'm addicted, well and truly. I find it very off putting.

Other days I appear to have no idea what I'm talking about.

I call them "most days".