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Showing posts with label goats. Show all posts
Showing posts with label goats. Show all posts

Goats, what is up with that?

It is amazing how often I stop and think to myself "I can't believe I just wrote that", the title of this today's blog is another case of this. You would think that the amount of crap I talk I would get over it, but some times it just seems weird to me.

However, it is my duty to preserve on in this challenge.

I have always tried within this blog to keep up some consistency and create themes and the creation of a cohesive unit, it very rarely works, but since that is just how I operate then we all have to deal. Or mainly, you have to deal. It doesn't effect me all that much since I'm not actually reading the blog. Maybe I should start doing that to make my writing better, yeah?
Moving on, but one of the ways I wanted to do that was to create a regular segment of Inadvertently Ask Elyse.
As a side note, today I discovered that I mispelt inadvertently incorrectly in that post I linked and I only discovered because in my labeling I had it there twice.
I probably should do short posts about Elyse's misadventures in writing and mistakes that I can't see until it is obviously pointed out. (If anyone wants that, tell me and I will, after all I do take requests).

Ok, so Inadvertently Ask Elyse is looking at the searches people have done in Google to get into my blog and taking those and answering those inquiries as if they were asking me. It combines two of my favourite things- Google and being a smartarse, I mean just thrown in some schnitzel with noodles and brown paper packages tied up with string and it is the best day ever. It would make me sing in the mountains.

And with that super smooth segue, let's take a musical interlude:


The point of that?
So, I was researching for my next Inadvertently Ask Elyse and because of my year long hiatus, I looked at it for the entire year, the number one search "kid goat".

Which looks a little like this:


I just added that because kids are super cute. Seriously, look at that goat! Super cute! You are kidding if you disagree! I mean, imagine the bill for that!
That billy goat joke didn't quite work, I will also keep a hold on my goat puns.

So, the most frequent search, "kid goat" and it is the most by a lot, about triple the searches of number two most frequent search which is "side hug", as it should rightfully be. This seemed quite unusual, so I did research.
My research started with Google and typed in "kid goat", maybe for some reason people don't talk about kid goats on the internet and my blog ends up on the first couple of pages.

It doesn't.
I could have kept looking, but dude, after 6 pages on Google looking for myself it started to seem a little weird.
Next path was to see just how often I talk about goats, which is most likely a you're kidding me, when talking about goats (or small children... more often goats though).
Goat only appears once in my blog. In the Inadvertently Ask Elyse that I linked at the beginning of the page talking about goats. I swear it is like I entered the Google version of the Time Loop Paradox.


Apparently, out in my very small part of the internet, I have created a safe haven for those who want to search for baby goats, and I say more power to you.

Now, only if people want to give side hugs to kid goats then that is the ultimate way for me to increase my traffic flow.

Just as a tip, if you do plan to hug a goat, it would be best hugging technique to go for a side hug, or at least a half side hug. A half side hug being where one half of the hug is on the side, that would be the goat.
So here is the half side goat hug:

As you can see, the dude there is front hugging, while the goat is in a side hug.

Now, just for the cutest thing I could have stolen to demonstrate a Kid Goat Side Hug:

Excuse me, I need to go break into a farm to hold a goat now.
Wish me luck!


The hugging goat photos I stole from here. It features lots of people hugging goats. Good people.

Indadvertly ask Elyse!

Today is the 2nd of June!
Do you know what that means?
IT IS INADVERTENTLY ASK ELYSE blog post!

This is my favourite post of the month! I have no idea what anyone else thinks but since I enjoy writing it. Suck it up princesses. I assume there is more than one reader....

Oh well...

Just a recap of what it means to inadvertently ask Elyse, yeah, I've totally just changed the name of this segment, but whatever, formally Helping Out My Googlers...

What this is, is that I go through what people have searched on Google to end up in my little corner of the interwebz and then I answer the question for them.
I know, it's a kindness that I feel I should offer.


1. Are front hugs bad?

Yes, you are a sinner.
Unless you are a rabbi or a priest, which makes it ok.
OR you are married to the person you are fronting hugging.
OR are a massive whore.

2. Facebook unfriending glitch

Well, it all depends if you were the unfriender or the unfriendee.
Either way, that's a good excuse for defriending guilt.
No, man, it's not me, it was a facebook glitch! Totally, some blog by Elyse told me.

And that's how you know it's true. Coz I told you.

3. I enjoy long walks on the beach, candlelit dinners and the occasional
The occasional what? 
THE OCCASIONAL WHAT? 
I'll never know! We could have been soulmates! 
Soul mates... 
Like Joey and Pacey, Buffy and Angel, Elyse and Adam! 
Our love could have been epic... 
Oh... sorry... That got a little crazy. 
I'm not sure of the question here, but a long walk on the beach is when you take a stroll on the shoreline that takes a bit of time. 
Candlelit dinners are dinner in a room a room primarily lit by candles. 
And the occasional?
Well, we'll never know and it will haunt me forever. 
I'll accept suggestions in the comments. 
4. Just shut up hilarious 80s songs
I can't do that, Dave. 
Just go with it, you'll learn to love it. 
And start randomly looking at your pants. 
I was a little bit devastated, when I realised that the line is more like every one look at their hands, which is a much more jazz hands thing. 
But, in the interest of fairness, I created a photo collection to decide which is the better option... 
Everyone look at your hands... 
  or the much more awesome... 
Everyone look at your pants...  
And yes, those photos took longer for me to take than for me to write this entire segment... 
Worth it? 
 Totally. 
So, no, the Safety Dance will never be silenced! 
Unless you are the literal version, where I hope I never hear you again. 
5. kid goat
  
Yes billy, a baby goat is a kid! 
No, I'm not kidding. 
Just ask your nanny. 
And bada boom tish, I'm out. 
6.  Literal version of avril lavigne 
I often explain what literal versions of songs are. 
They are the film clip of a song, released by a popular recording artist, that has then been overdubbed by someone else to the same tune but they are singing about what is happening in the film clip. 
I've ranted at length about Avril Lavigne's Train Wreck of a Literal Clip... Oh, googler, I hope it is worth the pain... 
I think it's the poorly recorded audio that offends me the most, but my favourite line will forever be "I don't think that's how Newton's laws of motion work"
Question to everyone... Clips embedded or linked? 
7. Train literal version
Ok, I accept this challenge of writing a song about my travels on trains in a literal way. My train is not a metaphorical journey. It's an actual journey. Normally to work. 

I think I need to invest in someone who can actually sing to sing for me and I just stick with the guitar playing. 
Does anyone do freelance vocals? 


And my favourite for the month is number 8, but I have 9th... 

9. Zac Efron... 
He is the dude that was in High School Musical, apparently he is very dreamy. 
And I know someone that he once asked on a date, who then rejected him. 

Not as awesome as the fact I know a dude that climbed Mount Everest. Seriously, reached the summit last week. 
Now that, way more awesome than Zac Efron.

Number 8 on Elyse's search terms: 
What is up with man hugs?

That is a very good question. 
I wish I knew. 
I think it's because of all the amount of unresolved sexual tension in the bromance that means they can't embrace their love in a hug. 
And I blame society. 


That is me out... 
I think it's funny that I always get a lot of questions about hugs. 
More importantly, why are people just not using WikiHow for all their hugging knowledge? 
I mean, that's where I learnt to hug in a creepy and suggestive way. 

So, til next time... 
Keep on searching! 
Elyse
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