RSS FEED
Showing posts with label television. Show all posts
Showing posts with label television. Show all posts

Life Lessons for Reality Contestants

Let me first open with a confession, I don't watch much reality television.

I've seen bits and pieces over the years, mainly from when they go over their fricken time slot and I'm waiting for something else to start, other than the MTV series Made which was just amazing.


The one rule is that reality television is built on the power of their contestants tears, one of the issues with last year's Masterchef Australia is that there was more crying than cooking. Leading to two of the most amazing Facebook groups ever: Mastercher- More Cooking, less sooking, and Masterchef: Less Crying, More Frying.


The theme being those tears you see from the contestant, they aren't coming from the onions they are what failure looks like! You keep crying amateur chefs! YOU KEEP CRYING!!


One would think the minute you sign up for a reality show, you realise they will find your soft underbelly and expose it for all it's worth to make you cry and keep on crying on national TV, and if it is really good YouTube sensation.


For example, I am going to make a reality show and I work in TV so I can totally do that.
It's going to look a bit like this:



The series finale, will feature this shot as the winner:



It really hurts me that I get a clip of Dawson, before I get a clip of Pacey, but that clip is a result of Joey dumping Dawson for Pacey, and that is why it is prime position on my "Making Grown Men Cry" Reality Show.


Getting to my point, I was at work the other day and reading the news, as I only do at work, I'm only informed about the world on Mondays and Fridays, I hope the world doesn't end on any other day. I'll be completely unprepared.
So, I was reading the SMH website and I found this article.

For those against clicking links, more power to you. Mel B, of the Spice Girls Fame.
Let's get a picture happening:

Scary Spice living up to the name
It is a bit disturbing that in looking for that photo a lot of pics Mel C came up. Clearly two different people. Pfft...
Let's also get a Flashback happening so we can be fully aware of just who Mel B is and how awesome she is.


As a side note, Dear potential suitors, if you want to be my lover,  please don't get with my friends.

So, that is Mel B, part of one of the most successful girl groups ever and a very important part of my childhood, and let's be honest, if you have Meatloaf driving your bus, you don't have it half bad.

Mel B is currently a judge of Australia's X Factor. A great judge too, she goes straight for the tears, which in the end what makes a great a judge and a great mentor since that's the stuff you need to hear.

So, in the process of judging some dude that was crap in his performance and Mel B rightfully called bullshit.

The dude's response, his name is Luke O'Dell, if anyone cares... No-one? Moving on.
"Mel B just performed on X Factor lol so bad and this lady judged me? She needs a reality check,
  
Number one, she is Mel B, she is a Spice Girl. She has sold more records, DVDs, posters and other general Popstar merch than you will ever see in your life. 
Ultimately, the minute you sign up for a talent show, you are opening yourself to be judged. Not just by very qualified people, such as Mel B, who if anything knows the business and knows what one has to do to make it. 
But you are being judged by absolutely everyone. That's part of the deal. You sell your soul and pay with tears. Basically, the audience doesn't want people to succeed. We want failure. Lots and lots of failure.

Though, at the end of the day, the most offensive part of that statement, ignoring the obvious disrepect, is that you don't need talent to be able to judge and to judge well. 
Just because you can't perform well, which is arguable in a don't you don't be disrespecting no Spice Girl, to be able to judge well. 
Let's look at Simon Cowell. 

Ladies...
We may stop looking now. 
This is the dude that created X Factor and American Idol. 
He judges and is the bitchy judge. He bathes in tears of broken dreams. 
I don't see anyone saying that he can't judge because he can't perform. No, because he will take that person and shatter all their hopes and dreams until the have nothing left. 


Which I'm hoping is Mel B's next plan. 

But the end of the day, if you are going to participate in reality TV. You have sold your soul, you'll cry and you will be judged. Often and for many different reasons.  You will also be called different names.

Apparently Adam

Glee- What's up with that?

One of the current massive shows hitting the Australian airwaves is Glee.

You know it's massive, because it is only one week behind the States and oh em gee, they promo the fuck out of it!
Now, I watch an embarrassingly lack of TV. It brings me shame the amount of TV I don't watch. Television pays me, I should watch it more.

The very little television I watch is a result of walking through a room and the TV is on.
My mum is loving the Masterchef, which is funny because it is so overdramatic. I just saw a group on facebook with the caption "More Cooking, Less Sooking", though my favourite was "Less crying, more frying". 
That's not the point.

So last night, I was watching TV while eating my dinner and mocking the melodrama that is Masterchef. One of those contestants was a cop! A COP! And she had this breakdown in one of the challenges. What's with that?
Harden up, princess.

Then I started to watch Glee and saw something awesome in the credits... IDINA MENZEL! WAS IN GLEE!!
Idina Menzel!
If you do not know who that is, get out of my blog. Just get out...
Ok, I'll play nice. Idina Menzel is the original Broadway Maureen from Rent (So thus, plays Maureen in the movie) and is also the original Elaphba from Wicked... So on a show... Where they sing?
FUCKING AWESOME!

She didn't sing. That made me sad.
But I watched Glee.

The entire episode.

It's interesting.
I saw the pilot and this was like the second season or something, I don't really follow.

I watched and then the singing started.
I'm a musical fan, randomly singing doesn't bother me at all.
Though, Glee it isn't just random singing... It's in-show singing. Part of the context.
With apparently the most awesome band ever, who just happen to know all these songs all the time.
Yeah, I did think that when I watched it.
Especially when the teacher is all "Play anything, the band knows it!" So, that amused me. That is not a direct quote, I am clearly making it up.

Now, so we get the singing.
And Oh Em Gee...

What the hell is with the singing?

Now before someone is all like "There singing is awesome. You don't know what you are talking about".
I preemptively say shut up.
I do know what I'm talking about because I have both muso cred and musical nerd cred and well, shut up, this is my blog.

I don't have a problem with the actual singing but it is just so processed!
You can tell that they are lip syncing... badly.
Well, it's in time, it's just really obvious that it isn't live.

This leads me to a rant about live music and processing and how CDs have destroyed expectations about the live music experience, but that's for another blog.
It sounds exciting doesn't it?
Remember, I'm a 1/6th of  a Sound Engineer.

The musical numbers are good, but I still think the thing that would make it better is if Idina Menzel sang.
Though, plot wise I am expecting something horrible to happen to Rachel, I'm also predicting it is revealed that Rachel is the secret lovechild of Idina Menzel's character (I don't know her name due to the squee-ing. Yes, I am totally a Idina Menzel fangirl)
Because really... Those two, look exactly the same.
I stole photos and everything!


<----- Idina


                    Lea Michelle --->




















See what I'm saying.
I would completely buy that.
I'm buying it now without it even being  in existence!

I think I should have found photos that imply it better, but still...
Totally needs to happen.

I had one of the songs from Glee in my head all day and then it came on the radio. That radio was cursed today. We'd talk about songs and then they'd play.

Thus, we were talking about Glee.
Glee was created by the same dude that created Popular, an awesome, awesome so underrated series from the late 90s/early 00s. Fricken awesome show.
Which gives the show a massive head start with me, because I did love that show.

That being said, super quotable. That's a plus.

At this stage, I'll remain a geek and the L will be because of my loser status.
So, this writer is not a Gleek.

The "This writer" was for my own amusement and to emphasis the loser status, but oh well...

Glee... That's what is up with that.

That is not a good tag line.
Related Posts with Thumbnails
Return top