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Inadvertently Ask Elyse: The Hiatus Edition

It is now time for my favourite thing ever to write! Yay! Favourites!



It is time for Inadvertently Ask Elyse, where I take all the people who have stumbled upon my blog with their questions and answer them like they were actually asking me.

I can only hope that I have taught people the value of the side hug and the most appropriate places to side hug (with photos!) 

And since the last Inadvertently Ask Elyse was here and that was like a year ago, I have a lot to catch up on.
I do know that the most frequent search request I get is about kid goats and I have that covered for all you goat lovers out there. Read that and look at the cute pictures of goats.
With a closer inspection, not only is the kid goat number one my searches, it also appears another 11 times within the list of searches.

Where is all this goat loving coming from?
I think I've doomed my internet writing career to goats and hugs.

You know, I don't have a problem with this.

Should we move onwards because I do have a lot of stuff to write about hugs.

One Sided Hugs
The first thing we need to clarify with the one sided hug is do you mean that it is emotionally only one sided. The longing hug you give when you are madly in love with the person you are hugging but they are just hugging you in a platonic manner, or the "I'm hugging you, why aren't you hugging me?" 
Like this:
The wolf is not enjoying the bear hug. 

The alternative is that it is just a two person side hug, which means that only one side is involved.

You can also have a situation that combines the two:

I actually stole this photo. Which is the only reason I included it.
Side Hug From A Guy

I can only assume if you are getting a side hug from a guy are concerned about it, you have seen this and you are just doing your Christian duty, so you keep up the good work until there is a ring on that finger.

The Christian Side Hug is never not funny.

Side Hugs are For Friends
Woah, step back there.
Side Hugs are for EVERYONE!

Ramblings of Elyse
That's me!
In fact, this search might have been mean...
Apparently I suck at answering my own questions. Oh... well... Moving along!

When writing songs don't be literal
This is a hard one, since I do listen to a lot of musicals and when you are writing an exposition song, which is a very important part of writing songs to a musical, you need to go the literal place. If all your exposition is in metaphor then your plot becomes like the wind and hard to see, you can feel it in places but it is just all over the places.
See what I did there?
I doubt it because that wasn't a metaphor, it was a simile.
There is a place for metaphors, simile, euphemisms and other ways to talk around things. Yeah, we get you are trying to woo the man or woman of your choice through song, but you can just put it straight out there and it works or you can go straight up confusing metaphor.  

Just try and remember what words actually mean.


"a short poem or other set of words set to music or meant to be sung"
What is a ballad?

"leave our boats behind"
I know this as a song that is the Galilee Song, however, that is not as fun.

This is what I would yell across that sea as my pirate saying, and then if they didn't leave their boats behind, I'd shoot cannons and force them do so and then those boats would be mine. Muwhahahahaha!

Are literal versions of songs real?
They are real in the terms at they exist as a piece of music, but they are not performed by the people who wrote the original song, nor are they the same lyrics. Naturally, this is what makes it funny.
But why would that stop it from being real?

Best literal version of song
Total Eclipse of the Heart, without a doubt. I would link but it is no longer available in my country and I just died on the inside.

Buffy lore crosses
The cross in Buffy is used as a repellent against vampires, it doesn't actually kill them it merely burns them and while the vampire doesn't like it, they can stand it in situations such as at the end of the Buffy episode Angel where Angel and Buffy kiss and Buffy is wearing a cross necklace, the one she got from Angel in Welcome the Hellmouth, and when she leaves there is a close up of Angel's chest which features the burnmark of the cross.
In most cases it works to repeal, but in the case of vampire nutbags such as Kralik from Helpless who kind of digs the pain, but you know nutbag.

The cross is also used in rituals such as the vampire uninvited spell that requires hanging of the cross. I believe in traditional vampire law the cross is representative of the faith of the person wielding it and that is where the power comes from, so it is debatable whether a Star of David would have the same effect for someone that is Jewish, such as Willow in the world of Buffy. It is worth mentioning that since when Willow is putting up the cross she makes a comment about how her Jewish dad is not likely to be happy. 
As the series progresses vampires become less and less prominent as villains and as a result there is less and less cross play in Buffy.

Can a hug be assault
Yes, it can, but I'm pretty sure at that point we wouldn't call it a hug.
The best example of this would be the bear hug, which is an actual attack move, as well as a particularly strong hug.
There is a fine line in some cases and it comes down to intent.
Also, good life advice: Don't hug real bears. Even the wolves don't like it.

Don't Stop Believing Australia Rob Mills
No, Australia, please stop believing in Rob Mills. Go away Millsy! GO AWAY!!


Elyse Fillion
That is who I would be if I married Nathan Fillion, and last time I checked that wasn't in the cards. I wouldn't say no, but you know, just gotta wait for that one.
Sorry Taylor.


Elyse needs
Oh, I need so many things... So, so many things.
I think I might start with Nathan Fillion to call me.

how fucking annoying is river firefly 
Very. 
My kindred spirit. 

Is it awkward to hug a short person? 
Depends how tall you are, but generally, yes, yes it is. 

how to hug comfortably 
Avoid hugging short people, and really tall people, unless you factor in how you are going to hug them, your intent for hugging them, how long and whether you are going from hugging to canoodling.
These are important questions to factor in for hugging in a comfortable manner. 
Love Elyse what I wore
Thank you Google searcher! 
Rhymes with the name Elyse
Police, Geese, Meese, Peace, Piece, Lease, Cease, fleece, grease, Greece, niece, Rhys, weiss
The best one is clearly Police. 
This awkward hug ends when you cry
Are you crying because the hug ended?
Because who stops hugging when the crying starts? That is just a douchebag move and generally the best way to deal with a crying person is to do hugging or the comforting side hug, which is slightly different.  
But regardless, there is the element of awkwardness with the crying hug. Unless both parties are crying, where not as awkward. 
  

I just want to know why so many people are googling hugging?
Really?
Though, I like to consider myself an internet hugging authority.


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