The Ramblings of Elyse

I recently went on a music download spree. Just for the record, not all music you download is illegal.

I mean downloading is just a phrase you use to say you got something from the internet.
Why are you all judging me?

I'm all about supporting music and small bands and all that jazz.
For example, one of the recent things I downloaded was Bravo, Max!
I totally bought their music because it had an accordion and mandolin in it and more importantly, their name was Bravo, Max!
Yes, it takes little to get my interest. They are a good band, I'm enjoying it.

Anyway, that was me getting defensive about my music habits. The Audio Engineer in me some days feels a need to defend myself against myself. I think I have bigger issues here.

Moving on...

So! One of the things I gathered in my music spree was the soundtrack to the last episodes of season 2 of Glee.
In particular, the songs from the finale. I remember being really unimpressed with the season finale as a whole and that it was a weak finish to what was looking to a promising end. Weak, weak finish.

But as I sit here typing listening to my Glee soundtrack, amongst other thing things which are the Bravo, Max! and my beloved Taylor Swift. I note that I have really really strange music taste.

I keep getting on a lot of tangents tonight, my apologies.
So, listening to the Glee soundtrack, I'm digging it and then I think to myself "Yeah, I should totally rewatch that episode! It would be awesome! Listen to the music!" then no! Just no!
They try and woo me with Puck on an Accordion!
Let's just enjoy that...

You'd think that typing "Puck Piano Accordion" into Google images would give that image towards the top.
And you'd be wrong.

This pic comes up before Puck with a Piano accordion.
And I can't tell, but that might be a mountain goat.
Seriously, what is it with the goats?
If not, what is that? Is it an antelope? 

Going back to my music knowledge.
I dig the songs, but you know what was thing that made the episode a spectacular failure for me.

Patti LuPone.
Now, don't get me wrong, I love Patti LuPone, but do you know why?
Because of this:


She literally stops in the middle of the show's big number to yell at an audience member.
What is best someone did this:


And then she meets Rachel and is all not crazy and all gracious?
It made me die a little bit on the inside.

I also love the internet. Since the Patti LuPWNed is amazing.

However, no matter how much I could understand them not wanting Patti LuPone to not be crazy, which is weird, I really wanted a Rachel Berry vs Patti LuPone smackdown but alas, nothing like that. That would have been amazing.
I guess, Santana having to be held back from a smackdown will do plenty for my Glee and Santana love.

I think it all comes back to the thing I need to remember is that Glee is good for music, terrible for storylines.
But I know this, I accept this.
Plus, I guess, if I really want to continue my Patti LuPone beats up Rachel Berry, there is always fanfic.
Do you think that exists?
Oh, who am I kidding?
It's the internet. Of COURSE it exists.

Now, surely it should come to no surprise if I have forced you to read this or this, then you will realise I am a great big nerd and a Harry Potter tragic.

Well, I think if you have talked to me in any context you would have realised that I am a massive nerd, I some times think I hide the Harry Potter stuff well.
Except when we talk about Harry Potter and then well, like Clark Kent stripping in a phone booth my nerd comes out. With less stripping. Sorry team.

The final installment of Harry Potter film series came out, well some time ago in terms of the premeire and all that but considering I hate the movies and the crowds, I waited and waited I did and I went tonight to the independent cinema up the mountains. It's just so nice to get out of Sydney to fuel my rage.
I kid, it's like 20 minutes away. But it is a great little theatre and there was like 12 people there so it was awesome.

Now, I feel that before I get my rant underway I should mention a few things.
I will be getting my rant on. That's pretty much why I'm here.
There will be spoilers.
I have strong opinions about what is right and what is very, very wrong.

I started off my journey tonight by putting on my Hufflepuff scarf, no one ever notices it is a Hufflepuff scarf coz my house gets no love, but as I sat in my car outside I realised that the chances of someone in Hufflepuff appearing in the movie was pretty much none existant.
I had seen the seven movies that came before it, I was prepared for everything I love about the Harry Potter world to be spat upon.
That was hyperbole.  It wasn't EVERYTHING, just most things.

Now, let's start with a few things...
I am pretty sure that somewhere through the course of the Harry Potter movies Emma Watson sold her soul or just became corrupted to the world because she has really dead eyes. I mean I am convinced she is dead inside. I don't want to say that, I mean Hermione is my favourite characters from the books. Well, out of the main ones, it is when I make up backstory in my head about others they get taken over but that's not the point. My love for Book Hermione just doesn't transfer well on screen, I don't want to say it is because Emma Watson is dead on the inside, but I'm pretty sure she is dead on the inside.

Knowing my luck someone is going to google "Emma Watson Dead on the Inside" and then come here and that will be awkward. Though, it's ok, I actually googled that and ended up with this and that is way harsher than anything I could ever write.

For anyone that is still reading this and haven't read the book of Deathly Hallows, I must say, good for you, but the book is weirdly paced. It starts off when they rescue Harry from the Dursleys and a chases scene, there there is some stuff in the Burrow and then they go camping for half the book. I mean other stuff happens, but they essentially go camping and then they are captured and Hermione is tortured. This is the first movie and I feel that Hermione was  not tortured enough in the movie but alas, my issues.
The second half, and thus the second movie, it's actually not even half, the camping goes on for fucking ever. It is MONTHS in the timeline of Harry Potter, the final part of the book is like a day.
So, the second half, they plan to break into the wizarding bank and then they go straight to Hogsmeade and Hogwart for Battle.
Leaving the second half of Deathly Hallows to be pretty much all the action sequences. Most of the things from that point are very quick moving, plotwise.

The biggest thing that all the movies don't include is the research and the planning, in the books that is a big deal, the fact that Hermione spends all time in the library researching various things for the end so she has her shit together and can save the day in her very Hermione-eqsue way. Say what you want but so many people would be dead if it weren't for Hermione, I'd start off with Harry on that list, but it also includes Ron, Ginny, Sirius, Buckbeak.... Lots more Harry. In this versions re-read I only got to Prisoner of Azkaban so I can't give a really good and complete list. Now, I'm sure you are saying that Hermione didn't individually save those people, no, I'm not. I'm saying she came through with the vital information or had access to the vital device, which in the case of Sirius and Buckbeak is the TimeTurner.
I mention all of this because there is a whole bunch of planning that goes into the breaking into Gringotts, including Bill warning them that they can't trust the Goblin, but also doesn't feature the conversation of how Ron & Harry had planned to double cross him anyway. All of this information is kind of vital to go into the Gringotts scene and have it make sense. Just coherant sense in terms of a movie, I relied on my knowledge of the book a lot for things to make sense.
Though, they left out the part where the run into a deatheater in Gringotts, Travers I believe, who is going to ruin the plan so they impurious him.


The Gringotts scene is home to my biggest complaint and that is pants in the wizarding world. Seriously, in the books there is all this talk about how wizards really struggle in the Muggle world, much like how muggles would struggle in the wizard world and one of this is how they dress, it has constantly been an issue and in fact the first introduction to the wizarding world in the books is because wizards dress funny.
Do the Gringotts guard look out of place as muggle security guards? NO! There lies the problem!
That and I don't think Goblins would trust wizards enough for security.
As for my wizards in pants issue, I appriecate that most of the death eaters wear proper robes and Kingsley Shacklebolt, he also wears proper robes.  Good man.

I love the dude that plays Aberforth Dumbledore was amazing. It was really too bad that they took out the fact he rescued them and put himself at risk with the patronus and the fact that the whole thing with the Dumbledore family is lost in the plot, when it is kind of important in understanding a lot about Dumbledore, especially why Dumbledore didn't trust himself in going after the Deathly Hallows, then again, there is nothing explained about the Deathly Hallows... Well, that IS annoying. They do seem to realy a lot on the pre-knowledge that has coming with reading the books otherwise things don't make sense.

Ok, so most the stuff previously I've mentioned, I haven't had a real issue with. Except the pants, I have a big issue with that, but it's small things, but you know considering that most of the movie IS a big motherfucking battle, I should talk about that.
Pretty much everything goes to hell with making sense with the book the moment that Harry steps through the door of the Room of Requirement.
They really don't emphasis just the shit that had been happening in Hogwarts, most importantly, in the 7th book it is the time for Neville to shine.
In the begining and throughout most of the books it was always a question on why Neville was sorted itno Gryffindor, the house of the brave, when he seemed anything but. But in the 7th book! That is answered and more! Neville starts a rebellion against Snape and the Carrows, the rebellion is with Ginny and Luna, but Ginny and Luna eventually are taken out of school and kidnapped respectively leaving Neville to fight by himself. The best line Neville gets is "I'm a pure blood, so they won't spill too much of my blood", so he stuck up for everyone and was the leader.
He was just awesome.
Then Harry comes and he is like "I have to do this stuff" and Neville gets his team together to fight with him and cause the distraction, and everyone comes together at that point and thus the fight begins as Harry leaves the Room of Requirement and everyone prepares to fight.
That's not what happened in the movie, it all kind of went all over the place.
Plus, Slytherin were kicked out in the movie, but in the book everyone who was not of age was kicked out. Some stayed, but others did leave. There was a thing about it and how it was like all of Gryffindor, most of Ravenclaw and some of Hufflepuff. But first and foremost the teachers wanted to get the kids especially the young ones out of harms way.
Which was not the case in the movie and everyone just seemed to run around and didn't make sense from many a level.

I guess the biggest thing for me is that it is a Wizard's Duel, a duel is close up. Like with swords or really crappy pistols, but it is one on one close up and trying to attack people. In the movie it seemed like they were artillery shells trying to blow one another up, which just seems like the brutallity of a muggle and not for Wizarding kind.
The thing makes it even make less sense is when in the book Harry and Voldemont are duelling in the Great Hall, while blowing everything the fuck up sort of happened, it wasn't the main attempt, but while that happened duels happened all around them with all sorts of people.
For example, it is Ginny, Luna and Hermione that are fighting with Bellatrix before the infamous "NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!" However, fim version- they are kind of standing around and then Bellatrix walks up casts a curse at Ginny, then Mrs Weasley comes along says her line, they through some spells around and the Bellatrix loses and disappears like she is a fucking vampire on Buffy... What the fuck? SHE's a person! THERE WOULD BE A BODY!
Though, even worst then that, Ginny just kind of stands back and watches, but doesn't look phased on what is happening.

I mean what is wrong with these people with all the death and destruction happening and they just have no reactions and not fighting to saved their loved ones?
Though, the complete underwhelming death of Fred Weasley was just sad, where was George's reaction?
But most importantly, where was the return of Percy that happens just before Fred dies? Percy is in the final battle, coz you see him but no mention of the rift being mended.

Though, the worst of the deaths on having no reaction because of the minor role is that of Tonks. Tonks is a big part in the books, none existant in the movies. Neville non-sensically gives her a shout out in his speech, it's non-sensical because they have NOTHING TO DO WITH ONE ANOTHER! EVER!
That being said, the shot of Lupin and Tonks holding hands as they were dead was the second most heartbreaking scene in the movie. Number one being Snape with the dead body of Lily. Heartbreaking. Weird, but heartbreaking. Not making sense in context but heartbreaking.

Alan Rickman did not wrong as Snape, even though some of the content was weird, he absolutely nailed it. Really wished they would have kept in Dumbledore telling Snape that he disgusts him.

I want to take a moment ot give a special moment for a movie based on half a book with weird pacing to end up giving the movie even weirder pacing. It was a special effort.
It really was just all over the place. Just weird.

This is a moment just to reflect on people that were significant to the whole story but weren't actually featured: Colin Creevy, Denis Creevy, Charlie Weasley, The Bloody Baron, Ginny's Ability to Act, most of the Death Eaters by Name, Phineas Nigellus Black (The Portrait from Grimmuald Place), Dumbledore's Portrait, The Ravenclaw Commonroom, Oliver Wood, Katie Bell, Alicia Spinnet, Angelina Johnson, The Carrows, Hannah Abbott, Justin Finly-Finch, The Centors, Professor Trelawny, Neville's Gran, reinforcements from Hogsmeade, Kreatcher leading the House-elves (which was totally a better way for Hermione and Ron to start making out)

Some of them are actually important to the story, such as the Bloody Baron and the  Grey Lady. Sigh.
Charlie Weasley got no movie love either. What is with that?

Though, I guess they get some leeway in terms of the Ravenclaw Commonroom since they didn't set up the finding of the diadum in Half Blood Prince, like they do in the book.
But it was in the book when going to the Ravenclaw Common Room that I knew I could never been in Ravenclaw since I suck at riddles.

There is just so many weird things they did that I don't understand. It is action based as it is, why so much change?
And my god, how little chemistry do Ginny and Harry have?
That was the most awkward relationship I have EVER seen.
Especially when you compare the dead inside Hermione hug Harry and not in a I totally am going to ravish you in the common room once we get this war over kind of way.
I mean Voldemort hugging Draco was less awkward.

Just weird.
Just a really weird adaption.

Plus, Neville deserves his fucking moment and he didn't get it good like in the books.
And Harry has a fucking invisibility cloak, it is actually really important to the plot and yet, doesn't take it into battle.

These things just don't make sense.
And it hurts my soul, but finally, I can rest because I've seen them all and they all suck.

I realised something as I started to write a blog post last week and as I watched the Glee finale and the episode of Masterchef that came before it.

Masterchef is a horrible, horrible show. Seriously, stop with the crying.
Though, those people are clearly uncomfortable hugging and it's like the producers are making them do the hugging and that makes me laugh.

That wasn't actually the point, but I realised that I judge television, and well most elements of popular culture just ridiculously harshly.
I like to think I don't do that to real people, but I probably do. I should do it more, I've dreamed of being the judgmental friend. I'd make an awesome judgmental friend. Does anyone need one?

As I sat and watched the Glee Finale that aired in Australia tonight, I started to think about the plot points that annoyed me and put them on Twitter.
There were a lot, so I thought I'd move them to a blog post.
I then recalled what watching TV does to me and decided to create a new segment of my blog for when things strike the mood.

The "Elyse Harshly Judges", I will take suggestions of things that are both bad and good, and I will watch and the judge... harshly.
It seemed like fun at the time.

Now, as a warning, it is in the title, HARSHLY judging. If you disagree, put it in the comments, if you agree put it in the comments.
Seriously, people can you start writing comments, I need some external validation here. I will reply to them.
That being said "Dude, that show was AWESOME" is not a disagreement and it might not necessarily be a view I disagree with, it's the belief that just because I am being mean and pointing out flaws means I can't be a fan and a statement upon which I call bullshit.

But to start off this, I have decided to go with the Glee Finale! 
Huzzah! Glee!

And I don't think I need to add this but...



This is the second time I've seen the episode, the first time was a mysterious event several weeks ago that I can't recall anything about. The second time was this evening when it aired on Channel Ten.

I am trying to remember how it starts. Does it start with the flashback to Puck and Quinn?

Yeah, my memory has been off all day. I'm  hoping I don't get delirious sick again.

I'm glad they did the flashback because they really did needed to show that it wasn't Puck taking advantage of a drunken Quinn.
And I'm just going to put it out there, that in the finale, I do love Quinn and Puck together. Especially at the point where they are standing there looking at the baby. I can buy it, I can completely buy Puck standing there and telling Quinn that he loves her more at that point, I buy it more that if at that point Quinn said she would keep the baby, he'd do anything in his power to try and do right by both of them and it's sweet. Plus, calling the baby Beth, with the song.
Puck as a character, is not a good guy, he is the bad guy and the massive douche, but in moments like that it kind of counter acts it.

So, Puck telling Quinn he loves her, that I love, that I am sold on.
Finn telling Rachel he loves her? No.
Shue telling Emma he loves her? No. No. No. No. No. NO no no no no. NO! NO! No no no NO!
16 noes? Really?

Ok, so the Puck and Quinn part is my favourite part of the episode because basically, I love a bad boy with a heart.
I am trying to think of another fictional example, but I've got nothing, so it might just be Puck.
Oh... Pacey started off as kind of a douche, but he made up for it.
I think Cordy is my Buffy equivalent.

Anyway.
So, my Shue and Emma?
So, Puck is MEANT to be a douche. Will is meant to be a good guy, but is kind of a douche.

My main issue with the whole Emma declaration of love is that she made it quite clear they were over at the begining of the episode and in a previous episode, but dude, she is seeing someone else. THAT WASN'T A SECRET!
Actually, I have multiple issues.
One is a general construct of film and television and that is the grabbing people to make them turn around and listen. I just really don't like that. That's just not cool. It is just such a controlling gesture and it is not something that is going to go places.

And the biggest issue I have, they are in the middle of the school hallway! THE SCHOOL HALLWAY! And are teachers!
Now, I'm old, so I now know way more teachers than students or at least more people studying to be teachers than I know high school students.
But pretty sure you can't go making out with people in the hallway in the middle of the school day.
I was actually going to ask someone but amazingly I had none of those people online.
Ok, there are actually very few people that I'd go "hey, man, you know how you are a teacher or gonna be a teacher, how do you think school policy would go with you having a public display of emotion followed by some making out in the middle of the hallway?" or quad, depending if you had hallways. My school didn't have hallways.

This is a follow on issue, there is so frequently yelling happening in the principal's office, that you can apparently hear while standing in the hallway... that is a major lane of movement for students.
What the hell show?

I can't sustain my disbelief about that.
I spent a lot of time in the office while I was at school, yes I was a trouble maker, surely this isn't news to any one and they tried to minimise the whole "look at me sitting in the office" thing as much as possible, so why go for the glass office show? Why?

I think I've read a fair bit about Sue Sylvester and the saving the Glee, I actually don't have a problem with it and basically it comes down to two things for me and that is to quote Kurt from the previous episode "she's one of us, and no one humiliates her except for us"  and Sue's line that "as an educator" in the judges scene.
That for all the big talk and the heartlessness, which frankly is what makes Glee great, that she is an educator and on some level is in it for the kids and those are layers and I love them. Especially since she never told Will that she voted for New Directions or took the praise from her.

Horrible people who come through in the end work so much better for me than the sanctimonious bullshit from the good guys we are meant to barrack for.


As for the Finn and Rachel I love you, I seriously enjoy the fact she never says anything in return. I think I would have liked it better if there was something with Jesse.
I don't like that there were NO scenes with Jesse and Rachel in the finale.
I don't think Jesse is the villain of the piece. I can accept that he loved Rachel, and Rachel hurt him and he lashed out to hurt her back, maybe I bringing my own belief into that, but it works for me.
I don't see Jesse twirly his mustache or anything.

Oh, Idina, Idina, Idina, I love you, but there are so many aspects of your character that are strange.
You can still have a relationship with Rachel!
It's just different. You tried to find her, and then I think Shue fucked it up by telling her to basically stay away.
But dude, come on!
She is reaching out, don't cut her back like that.
It breaks my Idina loving heart right there.

My biggest issue with the Idina character was actually in last week's episode with the egging of Rachel by Vocal Adrenaline, Idina, that shit shouldn't fly with you!
GO TO TOWN ON THEM! Defend your daughter!

The adopting thing, not much of a problem, just the whole Rachel reaching out, do something with that. Just fucking hug her already!

I do talk about hugging an awful lot. I think you people should just hug me more.
People I know, not random strangers, unless you approach with caution.

Now the moment:
SONG CHOICE!

New Directions or the Glee Kids...
They went with a Journey Medley so we could get a nice line about how life has one real begining and one end and everything else is just middle.
Which is the whole journey part and thus Journey Medley.

Here it is, just because I care about you people.




I think Don't Stop Believing isn't one of their strongest choices.
Though, I really wish they'd do more stuff with harmonies and be more choir like and less solos with back up vocals.
In terms of starting from the back of the room thing "Don't Rain on My Parade" was a better candiate for it and a better song and well, starting at the back of the room is just inconsiderate to your audience.

You only do that with a chorus, so that EVERYONE can see what is happening. Two soloists in the crowd?
OF a two story theatre?
Yeah, fuck off. That's just inconsiderate and not working the crowd or the judges.

I don't like the Journey medley. They could have done better.
Just saying, don't like it.

I do enjoy Santana and Puck getting solos though in Don't Stop Believing but that key change is horrible, just atrocious.
It only goes up one step, but oh em gee... It just doesn't work and I can't even work out why, I just do not care much for it. Stop with the key change.

That and they look like they are having fun, which is was a big part of their schtick and seriously, they are having an awesome time.


Now onwards to Jesse St James and his Funky Bunch.



That isn't a choir. This one is completely just Jesse and backup singers.
Now, I'm not sure about Glee and Lip syncing, I'm going with yes because I've watched television before but will happily admit to being wrong but I just doubt it and I don't have an issue with it, it's only if they were performing live where I have that issue but whatever.

The lip syncing was just off, so it made it really obvious.
That and the choregraphy with the throwing around just annoys me, it's like hairography or we just cast Rob Mills to play Fieryo and need to do something to make up for his lack of actual talent so we'll make him run around a stage.

I don't think it should have won a choir competition because it wasn't a choir.
I was surprised they went with the full length of the song, but it was cut with Quinn so it made sense, I thought it was time cut, but apparently not.

I would have preferred shorter song and some kind of scene with Rachel and Jesse because come on! COME ON! You can't just go declaration of love from Finn and then starring kind of longingly at Jesse and then I get no emotional resolution for that. Bah!
Curses to you show! CURSES TO You!

That and Jonathon Groff just can not do that ending and it killed me for it, the American accent really came through and it is just not how it goes.

Too much screaming on the high notes too. Mr Groff, you are no Freddie Mercury.
VA, you are no rest of Queen.
There are ready made harmonies there! USE THEM! Embrace them!

Where did the crowd even get the glow sticks?


The non-competition stuff.


Ultimately, I felt this episode just wanted to make me cry.
For the record it didn't, on that same record, I have no issues admitting to things that make me cry: Montages to Sarah McLachlan (Becoming Part 2, Toy Story 2), the Dawson's Creek Finale, A League of Their Own, Lexi, Cordy's farewell scene in You're Welcome, Toy Story 3.

They tried so hard and threw everything there, but alas, show, you tried too hard and I saw what you were doing.


I really hope that it is Burt Hummel that taught Finn what it meant to be a man, because I think Shue is kind of douche (especially to Emma), where as Burt is just all kinds of awesome... Especially to Kurt and well, to Finn as well.




So that's the Glee kids singing to Shue... While Sue looks on!
That's just straight song, obviously.

I was mainly excited that Other Asian and Shaft got lines!

Overall, it didn't blow me away.
Too much going on and not enough resolved.
The song choices were not the greatest, but I did like that the judges portraying themselves were arseholes. That is a little bit awesome right there.

My favourite thing to happen was the fact they didn't win, basically, in reality, they wouldn't have. I know it's boring TV, but they would have spent weeks, if not months rehearsing their set and getting it perfect and mastering.
However, Television makes it hard because no one wants to see that, but since I'm taking it into consideration.

I don't think I judged harshly enough.
I'll work on it.