The Ramblings of Elyse

It is now time for my favourite thing ever to write! Yay! Favourites!



It is time for Inadvertently Ask Elyse, where I take all the people who have stumbled upon my blog with their questions and answer them like they were actually asking me.

I can only hope that I have taught people the value of the side hug and the most appropriate places to side hug (with photos!) 

And since the last Inadvertently Ask Elyse was here and that was like a year ago, I have a lot to catch up on.
I do know that the most frequent search request I get is about kid goats and I have that covered for all you goat lovers out there. Read that and look at the cute pictures of goats.
With a closer inspection, not only is the kid goat number one my searches, it also appears another 11 times within the list of searches.

Where is all this goat loving coming from?
I think I've doomed my internet writing career to goats and hugs.

You know, I don't have a problem with this.

Should we move onwards because I do have a lot of stuff to write about hugs.

One Sided Hugs
The first thing we need to clarify with the one sided hug is do you mean that it is emotionally only one sided. The longing hug you give when you are madly in love with the person you are hugging but they are just hugging you in a platonic manner, or the "I'm hugging you, why aren't you hugging me?" 
Like this:

The wolf is not enjoying the bear hug.

The alternative is that it is just a two person side hug, which means that only one side is involved.

You can also have a situation that combines the two:

I actually stole this photo. Which is the only reason I included it.

Side Hug From A Guy

I can only assume if you are getting a side hug from a guy are concerned about it, you have seen this and you are just doing your Christian duty, so you keep up the good work until there is a ring on that finger.

The Christian Side Hug is never not funny.

Side Hugs are For Friends
Woah, step back there.
Side Hugs are for EVERYONE!

Ramblings of Elyse
That's me!
In fact, this search might have been mean...
Apparently I suck at answering my own questions. Oh... well... Moving along!

When writing songs don't be literal
This is a hard one, since I do listen to a lot of musicals and when you are writing an exposition song, which is a very important part of writing songs to a musical, you need to go the literal place. If all your exposition is in metaphor then your plot becomes like the wind and hard to see, you can feel it in places but it is just all over the places.
See what I did there?
I doubt it because that wasn't a metaphor, it was a simile.
There is a place for metaphors, simile, euphemisms and other ways to talk around things. Yeah, we get you are trying to woo the man or woman of your choice through song, but you can just put it straight out there and it works or you can go straight up confusing metaphor.  

Just try and remember what words actually mean.


"a short poem or other set of words set to music or meant to be sung"
What is a ballad?

"leave our boats behind"
I know this as a song that is the Galilee Song, however, that is not as fun.

This is what I would yell across that sea as my pirate saying, and then if they didn't leave their boats behind, I'd shoot cannons and force them do so and then those boats would be mine. Muwhahahahaha!

Are literal versions of songs real?
They are real in the terms at they exist as a piece of music, but they are not performed by the people who wrote the original song, nor are they the same lyrics. Naturally, this is what makes it funny.
But why would that stop it from being real?

Best literal version of song
Total Eclipse of the Heart, without a doubt. I would link but it is no longer available in my country and I just died on the inside.

Buffy lore crosses
The cross in Buffy is used as a repellent against vampires, it doesn't actually kill them it merely burns them and while the vampire doesn't like it, they can stand it in situations such as at the end of the Buffy episode Angel where Angel and Buffy kiss and Buffy is wearing a cross necklace, the one she got from Angel in Welcome the Hellmouth, and when she leaves there is a close up of Angel's chest which features the burnmark of the cross.
In most cases it works to repeal, but in the case of vampire nutbags such as Kralik from Helpless who kind of digs the pain, but you know nutbag.

The cross is also used in rituals such as the vampire uninvited spell that requires hanging of the cross. I believe in traditional vampire law the cross is representative of the faith of the person wielding it and that is where the power comes from, so it is debatable whether a Star of David would have the same effect for someone that is Jewish, such as Willow in the world of Buffy. It is worth mentioning that since when Willow is putting up the cross she makes a comment about how her Jewish dad is not likely to be happy. 
As the series progresses vampires become less and less prominent as villains and as a result there is less and less cross play in Buffy.

Can a hug be assault
Yes, it can, but I'm pretty sure at that point we wouldn't call it a hug.
The best example of this would be the bear hug, which is an actual attack move, as well as a particularly strong hug.
There is a fine line in some cases and it comes down to intent.
Also, good life advice: Don't hug real bears. Even the wolves don't like it.

Don't Stop Believing Australia Rob Mills
No, Australia, please stop believing in Rob Mills. Go away Millsy! GO AWAY!!


Elyse Fillion
That is who I would be if I married Nathan Fillion, and last time I checked that wasn't in the cards. I wouldn't say no, but you know, just gotta wait for that one.
Sorry Taylor.


Elyse needs
Oh, I need so many things... So, so many things.
I think I might start with Nathan Fillion to call me.


I just want to know why so many people are googling hugging?
Really?
Though, I like to consider myself an internet hugging authority.

For regulars or anyone that has ever talked to me, I'm a massive Buffy fan.

I'm the go to Buffy knowledge person, I can tell you many things, many, many things. I'm a pretty big Angel fan as well.

My opinion changes frequently on which one I prefer, and it depends of timing. The biggest advantage of Angel is that features Cordy and doesn't feature Spike. Please refer to my previous posts about my feelings on Spike (or recapped "What the fuck? Seriously?").

So, I laugh at anyone that dear question my Buffy cred, but then we get to Firefly.

Apparently Firefly is the go to thing. I've gotten into many arguments about Firefly and my dislike of it. Yeah, that's right, I do not like Firefly.
Try and convince me that it's the greatest thing ever and I say you're fucked and hate it a little bit more.

This never became more apparent that one day when I was at the Friday night LAN night I go to every now and then, and there was a new dude who went to uni with one of the regulars. But new dude, new dude was a Fanboy and as a result of that conversation next time I saw New Dude he is all like "so there's the Firefly hater".
New Dude, fuck you, and take my pamphelet of my new campaign for world peace and stop being a douche.

Not only did New Dude not respect my dislike of Firefly but this somehow took away from my nerd cred and was all like "You'd be destroyed if you met (someone whose name I don't remember)".
Once again, fuck you.

Yes, I don't like Firefly and it went for 14 episodes and was canceled with 4 of those episodes not going to air, so, I'm not the only person that didn't like it.

But my main issue with Firefly is the fucking fanboys like New Dude mentioned above. Seriously? That is what is taking away from my Nerd Cred. I've seen every episode and know enough about it to get by, I own the DVD and have spread the DVD love around and that's not counting everything else?
Yeah, well, whatever.

The Fanboys that insistent it is the greatest piece of Television ever, guess what guys. It's not.
14 episodes. They are not good odds, though, if you manage to truly fuck up in 14 episodes then wow, no words for that.
I've gotten into the conversation many times "how can you call yourself a Joss Whedon fan if you don't like Firefly?"

Well, for starters, I don't.
That guy is a douche. All his fanboys are douches.

I point to Season 6 and 7 of Buffy as this, Season 6 in particular.
Season is considered by the Buffy fans I speak to as a whole bunch of crap. The particular issues- The lack of commitment into Willow going from the power of magic corrupting to a drug metaphor (the change happens in Smashed) which provides a nice little cop out for the evil of Willow, the inconsistency of Spike (evil/Best.Boyfriend.Ever/Buffy's confidante/whatever) resulting in the almost rape in Seeing Red, Giles shodding reason for leaving and then the adding of Amber Benson being added to the credits upon the episode which Tara is murdered. I think the Spike getting a soul also a major issue.

The killing Tara created lots of fan backlash, especially from the gay and lesbian community who loved them some Tara and Willow action, in especially the way she died and then Willow tries to kill the world, which fits into some kind of stereotype of dead/evil lesbians. I'm not sure about that so Enjoy this link about some of that Backlash... It's interesting.

Anyway, these things are not apparently the responsibility of Joss Whedon, oh no, these developments are at the fault of Marti Noxon, who was a writer on the show since season 2 but became the showrunner and executive producer is Season 6.
Yes, all these developments are her fault.
Which, bullshit. Joss would of had to sign off on them and most of the developments are heavily featured if not start in episode of Season 6 that Joss Whedon wrote- Once More with Feeling.

So, I call bullshit.
And Fuck you Joss Whedon, he is not my master.

But back to Firefly.
The problem with Firefly is that it starts off with 9 cast members. So, there are 9 main characters that are all introduced at the same time and as a result some characters are going to be mariginalised.
Shepard Book is my prime example of this, mainly, what the fuck is the deal with Shepard Book?
And don't give me this "They are making a comic about Shepard Book that will be released soon" because that is a cop out. It's been 6 years it ended and they had a movie and what happened?
They killed him in a scene that was completely just to propell Captain Mal into Reaver territory and that's not the fact that in the scene prior to that Captain Mal coming to Book for some kind of advice or whatever, which never fit into what happened in the series.

Plus, I don't think there was a scene in Serenity (the movie, not the episode) with Jayne and Book, who tended to do a lot of stuff together in the series.

The things of the movie and series are annoying.
The movie sucked, but then again, I hate River.
Especially the end that since River is no longer crazy she is just fucking awesome at everything. Fuck you, River.

Don't get me wrong, I like the cast. I think the cast is awesome and makes up for the lack of incoherent plot or at least things that don't make sense for a series that takes place in space.

Basically, I don't like it and many of the things just do not make sense.

I haven't watched it enough to be able to go through and make detailed lists of why I don't like Firefly.

But it's the fanboys who tell me it is the greatest thing ever that piss me off the most and convinced me for a long time to never give it a chance.

And for the love of god, Shut up, River!

Today, I got involved in a conversation with someone and it left me feeling, really, really angry and you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

Then I got to thinking what I was angry at.
And I was angry about the fact that someone was meant to have their shit together and have some stuff organised.
That stuff hasn't happened.

The bigger issue is, if you can't organise something, ask someone to help you. This is what being a leader is about. Seriously, fucking delegate. Basically, get your shit together.

I was pissed off at this, so very, very pissed off. Have we identified a theme?

Then it hit me.
I had promised to make my Spike rant into a video and I promised this sometime ago and had yet to follow through.
Thus, how could I be pissed off at someone for not organising something when I had been lying to people on this for so long?

So, I did it.
I set up my video camera and started ranting.
The rant goes for about 29 Minutes and 29 seconds. Minimal editing and I would say, very much NSFW since there is a lot of swearing.
There are also a lot of comments about my pants, but I am wearing them, so it's pretty much the swearing that is an issue.

Elyse's Angry Spike Rant from Super Flyse on Vimeo.

I also need to add that I love the screen shot of that, I feel I'm about to fight ninjas or break out into a rap.

I was over on Facebook today, yeah, only the once and it's not like it was on my phone at work or anything like that because I would never do anything like that...

Um... ANYWAY...

There I was on Facebook, when I noticed that Adam is finally up to Once More with Feeling.

Yes, it's an episode of Buffy.
If you aren't familiar with it, I no longer know you.

It is indeed the musical episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It is something that is mentioned all the time, especially in terms of TV shows doing musical specials.

The musical is a huge film phenomenon, they have been getting made for such a long time and the 1950s and 1960s were the hey day of the film musical, but they still get their reprises, most recently with the film production of Nine, starring a whole bunch of other people.
Unlike most other genres that have been massive in movies, the musical has never progressed to being awesome in TV.
They have tried, so many times and there have been shows that have been musical in style but not so much in the having characters express thoughts and emotions through song in the vein of the traditional musical.
While Glee is a show that features a lot of music and singing, it is not the same kind of style as a musical.

So, when shows try and do musicals, such as BtVS, Xena:Warrior Princess and Scrubs, the Buffy example will forever be the shining example.

Which as a TV show musical, it should be.
It is pretty awesome and the cast for NON-singers, they do fantastically, but what fun is it if I just lather praise on my two favourite things?
Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Musicals.

Allow me to first say that when it comes to Joss Whedon Musicals, I find Dr Horrible's Sing a Long Blog to be a lot better.
If only because Neil Patrick Harris and Felicia Day are much better singers then the majority of the Buffy cast, which not surprising since it is cast as a musical.
Nathan Fillion does alright, but he isn't much of a singer and can't even compare to NPH, but he plays the douche so well, that he is perfect for Captain Hammer.

Anyway.
Once More With Feeling!

I shall start off with my big controversial statement, now I've stated that I love BtVs and I love musicals, it seems only natural that my next statement be that the two combined is the greatest thing ever. But, it's not.

The controversial statement:
Once More With Feeling is NOT my favourite episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, it's not even my favourite episode of season 6.

That's right.
I went there.

And why?
Why do you ask?

It's called plot holes.

You can try and swoon me with your bard like powers, Joss, but it won't work.
I see your ridiculous plot holes and contradictory statements and annoying things and cement such horrible things.
There are also some flaws with the performances, but you know, plot holes first.

First and foremost, it was Xander that called forth the demon?
The same Xander that seemed to learn his lesson about playing with the dark powers in SEASON 2! Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered, people.
Going back to BB&B (It's a long title, I'm lazy, suck it up) where when he notices horrible things are happening he immediately goes to Giles and is all like "Dude, I fucked up" and while Giles, not happy about it and yells at him a bit, Xander still cops it sweet. (ha!)
Then we fast forward 5 seasons and all of a sudden Xander upon finding out that people are dying because of the singing "Give me an axe and show me where to put it", doesn't own up and go "hey, I summoned the singing demon".

No, that's right, it goes right down to the finale and when Xander sees Buffy almost having the singing kill her, doesn't say a thing for the sake of a very, very bad joke. "Does that mean I have to be your queen?".
The answer should be yes, you don't beat the bad guy and the joke isn't that funny.

Unfortunately, this lack of being accounted for the deaths and destruction that are either in-directly or directly your fault are not in the game plan of the later seasons.
I can't even single out people for that since it kind of happens to all of them.
Responsibility was a major theme of the early season and here it just spits in it's face.

My Spike hate is pretty legendary. Once More with Feeling doesn't make it wane in any way shape or form.
The thing that bothers me most about Spike is "Rest in Peace", and I'm not sure who it is more of a comment on.
But James Marsters, the man can sing, he is actually in a band or was, but either way he can do the singing.
However, this is a musical. Singing is only half the act. The thing with musicals is that it is emotion through song.
It is the conveying of those emotions that set it apart.
This is just a performance thing in general, but you can be technically perfect, but if you don't have the emotion behind the song then it falls flat.

And that is where Spike and the song fails.
It is a rock song. It has the heavier chords and even the theme, when it is sung it needs to have the edge on the voice, a bit like a growl especially since the song is basically "Fuck off Buffy", and it's not there.
It is technically good but there are parts that just have no feeling behind and it should.
The chorus it is particularly bad, when it goes from the acoustic open chords to the electric, distorted power chords, that is when you need that rock edge. The vampire growl.
It's something that is very lacking. I can go through the lines that need something with the rock edge and it's not there and it takes away from the song and you can't have that in a musical, when it's about showing the true emotions.
That's the entire theme of the episode!

It's the one place that it really is out of place since that was totally the feel of the song they were going for.

That isn't going with the whole theme of Spike, who is all about the stalking of Buffy and isolating her and whatever now he is all "stay away" and for the reasoning, according to the commentary that he did the two things that makes every girl want them, telling them you don't want them.
Seriously?
Fuck you, Joss. It's coz of comments like that I hate Joss Whedon.

Let's not forget that the first instance of Spuffy (that's Spike and Buffy together, in the world of the interwebz) is played a joke.

And then of course, it is Spike that saves her.
Not her friends and family that WATCH START TO BURN!
That is a matter of making everyone look bad, so Spike can look good.

Then Giles not sending out the troops so Buffy knows?
What kind of plan is that?
Then again, Buffy was always the one with the plans. She generally had the plan of attack and I'm not entirely sure when that changed, but a little odd.
And Walk Through the Fire is my favourite song, which shouldn't be a surprise since it is totally ripped off my favourite song from West Side Story (the Quintet... which is the song that gets them to the Rumble for those non-name knowing WSS fans).

Plus, fire engines!

The episode really belongs to Anthony Stewart Head and Amber Benson, who break my heart into tiny, tiny pieces with the Standing/Under Your Spell (reprise).
Giles' reasoning is seriously flawed, seriously, seriously flawed.
Good songs don't cover the fact you are abandoning your pseudo-daughter so she can fend for herself?
AFTER SHE DIED AND IS CLEARLY REALLY FUCKED UP?
You fucking kidding me?
They need a better rationale then that.
The dude was fired because of his father's love for his slayer.
Come on, what the fuck ?

It kind of showcases everything that is wrong with season 6- no Giles with shoddy reasoning, Spuffy, Bad Willow and Xander not manning up, not with his demon summoning or his marriage with Anya. Anya called that in season 5, he proposed because they were going to die and he was a pansy and was having second thoughts really, really early on and didn't mention it to Anya?
And even then, didn't even man up to announce to the people there it wasn't happening.
This is not the Xander of yore.

The singing is great, it really is. Except for you know the "hea-van" not which is beyond awful, it is written awful and SMG tries her hardest and it sounds even worst.

SMG really doesn't get enough praise for the episode, she does a lot of singing for someone who doesn't even pretend to be a singer and she does a fine job of it and rarely gets any love for it, since NOT a singer, she wasn't cast as a singer but does it anyway.

Though, David Fury and Marti Noxon... You two will forever be my favourite parts.
Marti, the interwebz hate you, but I don't.
They also have cameos in Dr Horrible.
David Fury is the mustard man and Marti Noxon is the parking ticket lady. They are both writers. David Fury also the puppeteer from Smile Time on Angel.

For some strange coincidences Marni Nixon does the singing voice of Maria in the film version of West Side Story.

Once More with Feeling, you try and I love you, but you'll never be my favourite.
Favourite of season 6 is Tabula Rasa.

I think I may start off with some random thoughts.

1. Australia, please hire some commentators that know something about the Winter Olympics.

2. How do my glasses get so dirty and why am I incapable of cleaning them? Seriously, can someone answer it for me. It's really annoying and it brings me shame that Lex will be all "What did you do?"

3. Swing covers of rock songs may have won my favourite type of covers. Sorry, Ska.

4. Where did my sunglasses go?
I don't like this back up pair, which is why I stopped wearing them.

5. I miss Jose el Basso.

6. I think I can curl for Australia. I don't have an aim to make the Winter Olympics, just the Australian team to be all like "Yeah, I played for Australia. What up."

7. I would phrase it exactly like that.

8. Ordering things online should come with a confirmation email to save Deus Cake scenarios.

9. Deus is actually Latin for God. Or it might just be god. Oh, I should know this.

10. Deus ex Machina is a literary device meaning god from the machine, which is pretty much the magic bullet. It is a sign of very poor story telling and it is a term that if I'm feeling pretentious I'll pull it out when I continue my Buffy themed writings. I'm looking at you, Chosen.
Fuck you.

11. Seriously, what is the deal with my glasses?

12. There is a guy that I work with and my life aim to have his job. He is the guy that does our audio mixes. Yeah, my goal... To have his job.
He is currently running the audio control room in Vancouver for Foxtel's coverage or is it Nine's coverage?
Either way he is in Vancouver.

I have now decided that, out of all the things I want to work at, it's the Winter Olympics I want to work at the most.
Even though, it would be crazy stressful and what not, but come on, working at the Witner Olympics?
That shit is bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

13. Having goals and career aspirations is new and weird and I don't think I care much for it.

14. Maybe I should have put this into point form as opposed to numbering.

15. Apparently they are making a Lego Movie. I'm not sure how that will work, could be interesting.

16. I meant to mention more about the cake story, well, no, I just wanted to say that I can only spell two in English. What is two in Italian? Dues? No... hmmm...
I could Google it, but what do you think I do at work all day?

Yes, Google things.

And swear at the printer.

17. I get to teach someone how to use iMovie on Monday. I also happened to mention something about my own video projects I've editted on iMovie.

No! That is bad!
I don't think I want people I work with to see some of those videos.
No matter how hilarious I think they are.

18. I think I'm going to stop at 25, like that thing was going around Facebook ages ago, but you know, not about me because who wants to know about that?

19. I'm a Sagittarius.

20. I think it is hilarious the Norwegian Men's Curling Team's Pants have a Facebook fan page.
They are awesome pants, the fan page also includes a link if anyone wants to buy their own pair.

21. I actually was going to write something properly about the Winter Olympics.
That clearly worked out well.

22. I probably should clean my room.

23. And put up my Canadian flag, even though it is still cut from WYD.
The story of why it was cut was they thought it would affect my breathing or something. I don't really know, I was unconscious at the time and upon regaining conscious my first statement was "Where's my beret?" followed quickly by "Did they cut my flag?"

Apparently these aren't the questions I'm meant to ask. Who knew?

24. In jokes are the most awesome thing ever.

25. If I could be enlightening, there would be something awesome here, but alas, I'm too lazy to google things.

Good night.

My blog is going to very quickly become "Elyse's Rambling about Buffy" and I think I'll love it.

There was a bit of Twitter contraversay about my last post, from Mr Cheezy McWang who posted this:

@Superflyse Why is that my fault? PS I found a Buffy lore error in the rant so obscure I may be the only person who noticed. Go me!

And then it was on!

I know Mr McWang... who I'm never refering to as that again.
He hasn't even seen all of Buffy, he is working his way through it, but has asked me a number of the finer pointer questions.

It's cool, just how I roll, I know my Buffy trivia.. Except for what colour socks Buffy wears in Killed by Death as she leaves her hospital room to go after Der Kindestod. Stupid question!

Oh, sorry. That wasn't important.

But I was called out, my Buffy knowledge QUESTIONED, by what?

This is what came next:
"@Superflyse Willow didn't kill Warren. Bam."

One thing I will forever do is call bullshit on this one.
Yeah, they try and take that away in the comics that one.

Apparently, in the Season 8 comics, it is revealed in a shocking twist that Willow DID not kill Warren but in fact was save at the point on incineration by Amy.
You remember Amy, she appears in about 9 episodes. Witch, Bewitched Bothered and Bewildered, Gingerbread, Something Blue (HILARIOUS! Ok, Elizabeth Anne Allen, we are going to get you to come back, but you are only going to be in one scene, have no lines and be completely naked. You cool with that?), Smashed, Wrecked, Doublemeat Palace, and the Killer in Me.

Want to know why these things are important?
Because Amy is a tool to the plot!
She is a character plot device.
I love her so, she is my favourite plot device, but her character is very inconsistent.

Like Magic in the Buffyverse! What up!

The character development of Amy never made sense, and her reason for revenge with Willow in Season 7 is so messed up, but the power of Season 7 compared to Willow, the apparent greatest witch eva in the history of the world?
That just doesn't add up.

What also doesn't add up?
AMY DOESN'T KNOW WHO WARREN IS! Why would she save him from Willow?

More importantly, Willow flays Warren and then incinerates him, yeah, she does that. I think she's gonna notice and be pissed if her revenge isn't fulfilled.

Please.
She hunted him down and tortured him, you don't let the corpse of the dude you murder just get away with that.

Oh wait, the thing is, Warren isn't actually dead.
What the hell?
No seriously, what the hell?

The biggest mark as against this is that The First in Season Seven appears as Warren. ON MULTIPLE OCCASIONS! Lessons in the Big Bad line up at the end and then more notably in Conversations with Dead People to Andrew to convince good ol' Andy to kill Jonathon.

The First can ONLY appear as dead people, that's it's entire schtick.
Appearin' as dead people to fuck around with people. As seen in Amends, and then season seven.

If Warren isn't dead because of some kind of twist in the comics then it messes around with so much that happened in Season Seven.

Warren as the First was a MAJOR plot point, I personally think it was misdirected and could be used much more awesomely against Willow, but whatevs.

So that is the direct mistake of why the Warren not being dead is messed up.

The implication is that Willow is no longer a murderer. She didn't murder anyone, which kind of destroys her arc of season 7 of having to deal with that and deal with all the guilt that went with it.
I'm not saying they did it well, because Season Seven is a schmoozle, but it was still important.


I haven't read the comics, but I do know what happens in them.

They are not my cannon. They will never be my cannon because of that very reason.

My Buffy lore is the 7 Seasons that appeared on Television. There is a whole world of various comics and associated work, it doesn't mean a thing unless it was on the air.

That's my stance on Season 8 Comics, I call it "I call bullshit".

Brief preview of my next blog:

The Infamous Elyse Spike Rant...


Video Blog.
I'll talk to my camera man about it and see what I can get done.



I've had this rant with many people the most interesting person of note was a Priest who was a fan of Spike and his whole "redemption" thing.

If you want to ask some questions about my thoughts on Spike or you Buffy the Vampire Slayer in general, ask away and I'll include it.