It's been a while, but yes, yes I am alive.
I just have no motivation to write.
I can point you to the people to thank about that.
Not expecting it to change soon.
Sorry for those who enjoyed this blog.
You're welcome to those who are enjoying my demise.
Elyse
Indadvertly ask Elyse!
- 10:42 PM
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Today is the 2nd of June!
Do you know what that means?
IT IS INADVERTENTLY ASK ELYSE blog post!
This is my favourite post of the month! I have no idea what anyone else thinks but since I enjoy writing it. Suck it up princesses. I assume there is more than one reader....
Oh well...
Just a recap of what it means to inadvertently ask Elyse, yeah, I've totally just changed the name of this segment, but whatever, formally Helping Out My Googlers...
What this is, is that I go through what people have searched on Google to end up in my little corner of the interwebz and then I answer the question for them.
I know, it's a kindness that I feel I should offer.
1. Are front hugs bad?
Yes, you are a sinner.
Unless you are a rabbi or a priest, which makes it ok.
OR you are married to the person you are fronting hugging.
OR are a massive whore.
2. Facebook unfriending glitch
Well, it all depends if you were the unfriender or the unfriendee.
Either way, that's a good excuse for defriending guilt.
No, man, it's not me, it was a facebook glitch! Totally, some blog by Elyse told me.
And that's how you know it's true. Coz I told you.
3. I enjoy long walks on the beach, candlelit dinners and the occasional
THE OCCASIONAL WHAT?
I'll never know! We could have been soulmates!
Soul mates...
Like Joey and Pacey, Buffy and Angel, Elyse and Adam!
Our love could have been epic...
Oh... sorry... That got a little crazy.
I'm not sure of the question here, but a long walk on the beach is when you take a stroll on the shoreline that takes a bit of time.
Candlelit dinners are dinner in a room a room primarily lit by candles.
And the occasional?
Well, we'll never know and it will haunt me forever.
I'll accept suggestions in the comments.
4. Just shut up hilarious 80s songs
I can't do that, Dave.
Just go with it, you'll learn to love it.
And start randomly looking at your pants.
I was a little bit devastated, when I realised that the line is more like every one look at their hands, which is a much more jazz hands thing.
But, in the interest of fairness, I created a photo collection to decide which is the better option...
Everyone look at your hands...
or the much more awesome...
Everyone look at your pants...
And yes, those photos took longer for me to take than for me to write this entire segment...
Worth it?
Totally.
So, no, the Safety Dance will never be silenced!
Unless you are the literal version, where I hope I never hear you again.
5. kid goat
Yes billy, a baby goat is a kid!
No, I'm not kidding.
Just ask your nanny.
And bada boom tish, I'm out.
6. Literal version of avril lavigne
I often explain what literal versions of songs are.
They are the film clip of a song, released by a popular recording artist, that has then been overdubbed by someone else to the same tune but they are singing about what is happening in the film clip.
I've ranted at length about Avril Lavigne's Train Wreck of a Literal Clip... Oh, googler, I hope it is worth the pain...
I think it's the poorly recorded audio that offends me the most, but my favourite line will forever be "I don't think that's how Newton's laws of motion work"
Question to everyone... Clips embedded or linked?
7. Train literal version
Ok, I accept this challenge of writing a song about my travels on trains in a literal way. My train is not a metaphorical journey. It's an actual journey. Normally to work.
I think I need to invest in someone who can actually sing to sing for me and I just stick with the guitar playing.
Does anyone do freelance vocals?
And my favourite for the month is number 8, but I have 9th...
9. Zac Efron...
He is the dude that was in High School Musical, apparently he is very dreamy.
And I know someone that he once asked on a date, who then rejected him.
Not as awesome as the fact I know a dude that climbed Mount Everest. Seriously, reached the summit last week.
Now that, way more awesome than Zac Efron.
Number 8 on Elyse's search terms:
What is up with man hugs?
That is a very good question.
I wish I knew.
I think it's because of all the amount of unresolved sexual tension in the bromance that means they can't embrace their love in a hug.
And I blame society.
That is me out...
I think it's funny that I always get a lot of questions about hugs.
More importantly, why are people just not using WikiHow for all their hugging knowledge?
I mean, that's where I learnt to hug in a creepy and suggestive way.
So, til next time...
Keep on searching!
Elyse
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