The Ramblings of Elyse

Today was that joyous day for parents, retail workers and public transport users, basically everyone but those actually going back to school.

For them it is nothing but torture going from the stress free existence to having to go to school, waking up early, going to class and having to do work or homework and assignments and all that kind of jazz.

That being said, when I went back to school back in my youth I looked forward to it a tiny bit because it did mean I get to see my friends and sit and bitch with them up about the previous class, or whatever we discussed.. It's been awhile now.

After school, my education continued into uni and had 6 months of holidays and much more apathy regarding my study. Which considering was never very high, the complete lack of caring I had for these things is kind of impressive.

But once high school is over, you learn to love school terms because nowhere is packed and gain that disdain for the school kids, while hoping that you were never that obnoxiousness.

This fact never meant more than went I started working at 9, my bus to work was a school bus, a school bus for four schools. Yes, four schools. Those school holidays where the bus wasn't packed, especially with the high pitch squeals that only teenage girls can do.

As each stage of my education came to an end it always came with a no more statement. When I finished each of my HSC exams came with the statement "Yes, no more ".
At the end of Spring Semester, 2007 "Yes, no more full time uni"
At the end of Autumn Semester, 2008 "YES! No MORE EDUCATION EVER!"
I was no longer another brick in the wall.

I was free. I wore my hat and gown, had my name called out to collect my degree, walked across the stage and shook the Chancellor's hand as he called me the wrong number and told me to pose for the photo.

I had my degree, I had letters after my name. It was awesome, but most importantly, no more school. No more assignments. No more lectures. No more exams. Just work...

Oh...

Not that free, but who cares?
I already had a job lined up and was ready to go...

But alas... Not how it works, thus this we are here.

My statement of No more education?
Nothing but a memory, as I once again, join the forces going back to school.

I'm not longer disorientated... That didn't work as well as I was hoping it would.

I'm a student again, I've enrolled, I've registered for classes, have my timetable all set, I had orientation yesterday and am all set to have my first class on Monday.
I live in fear that I will be the annoying mature age student who will be all like "Well, the we do it is this..."
The audio kids seem to be split about half between fresh out of high school and not.

They even provided beer at the orientation and it was regular sandwiches not sausage sandwiches.


I've rejoined the back to the school fold.
I bought my supplies today and by supplies I mean a book to write stuff and colour in the margins.

But I have have the card and I've got the books, now this learning, huh?

Welcome back, Elyse.
Welcome back.

I'm actually a little bit excited to be writing today, for a few reasons and I shall list them.

1. It has been a while, I've been on twitter a fair bit and I don't think in 140 Characters, I'm a rambler, it's just how I roll. So much so I could make this point about 3 words but that just doesn't seem right to me, so thus I don't.

2. I actually have a topic to write about, which just odd.

3. I give into peer pressure.

They are my three reasons.

Today is going to be link heavy and those links will by sponsored by YouTube. So they are videos, so just a heads up.

Over the years, I've spent a very long time on the internet, I've done many things and one of my greatest hobbies is random linkage. I've discovered and lost so many great things over the years but one of my favourites has always been the literal versions of film clips.
Which is the film clip of a song, they are generally from the '80s due to the sheer oddness of the 80s film clips.
It was the 80s, MTV was in it's prime and the film clip was an important part of getting music out there and had developed into just being really, really odd. Oh, the 80s, I love you so.

And by love, I mean love to mock. We got that, right?

I'm not sure who makes them, I think the first one I found was on Collegehumor.com and was for the delightfully 80s song Take on Me by A-Ha. Those links are completely misleading, but as your faithful blogger here, shouldn't we trust me?

Well, no. I guess not. Here's the link for the Literal Version, the other ones or for some background listening and well, because the Reel Big Fish are fricken awesome.


That is the literal version, years ago I thought it was hilarious. There was also a link for another song but I can't remember the song, thus pretty pointless.
That was many years ago and life was different.

Then came a day...

I was at work one day and we were discussing various promo lines we could use, for those playing at home this is the land of bad puns, and the particular teaser we were writing was for a caravan park, it might have been a caravan show, that's not important and one of the suggestions thrown around was "Caravan of Love".
That sounds kind of dirty and I believe my comment was that it wouldn't fit into our G Rating.
Apparently, it was a song... From the 80s.
I decided to YouTube it, as so often happens when I'm at work, so off to YouTube I went and that's when I found it. The Greatest 80s Film Clip of All Time.
THE GREATEST!

I saw it and my heart melted like the polar ice caps will due to Global Warming. Now, I know what you are thinking... "Elyse, this is a terrible, terrible song... Are you high?"
The answer is yes and no, I'm not high.

I love it BECAUSE it's dodgy.
My favourite thing is the literal dance moves, yes, this is the original version of the film clip. The actual standing up at the line "Stand Up".
Seriously, what is not to love?
Unless, you are one of those crazy people who can't see humour in this kinds of things. That just makes me sad for you.

I have the film clip on my iPod now and if I'm ever having a bad day, I watch it on the train and laugh hysterically (on the inside because I believe in Train Etiquette).

Love it!

I took my knew found knowledge and love for this brilliant 80s clip to someone who I know dodgyily brilliant film clips as well, and we discussed, his opinion was "it was good, but the film clip for "Total Eclipse of the Heart" was the ultimate winner".
I see his point, but come on man, the dude has a cross shaved in his head which he reveals in the most dramatic move ever.

It's like I directed the clip.

I compared, I contrasted and then I played Random Linkage. I need to find a better name for that.
And that's where I found this, which is so much greater than the actual film clip, it is the Literal Version of Total Eclipse of the Heart.
I have this one on my iPod as well, this one I share the love a lot for.

This clip reignited my love for the literal film clip and then I looked at the related videos and there were more of them!
MORE!

Not just the Take on Me clip!
But so many literal videos!

Random comments about those clips: 80s songs are clearly the best songs to use. Seriously, what is with the Daydream Believer one?
Just odd.

My favourite part of those has to be the description of the dance break in Love is a Battlefield.
The Lion King theme of Creed is just weird, I'm just gonna assume it's some MLIA obsessed kid


The meme is becoming very disturbing and the longer it goes the lower in quality it becomes. I'm not going to lie, if it doesn't start off well, I tend not to listen to the rest of it. Which is why, I actually haven't looked at ALL the clips because I really don't like James Blunt. His voice is whiny and the guy that sang as him managed to be even more whiny. It was just an example!

There is one exception to this, when the version is so bad, that you can't turn away or the Train Wreck.

I present to you the Train Wreck of Literal Versions.
The literal version of Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne.
Now, just so we are clear, I have nothing against Avril except her pseudo-punk thing REALLY annoys me. I like her ballads and when she actually tries to sing and do that kind of thing as opposed to her upbeat things which just annoy me to know end.
The Girlfriend clip is everything I don't like about Avril Lavigne.
So much about the clip I don't like, especially that the "punk" Avril ends up with the dude at the end even though she is a bitch and the dude doesn't seem into her.

Those are my own issues with with can be neatly summarisied with a nice "Shut up, Avril" but that is not what makes this Literal Version awful.

Go back and take it in, click the link, take a moment and really take in the badness that is the song.

It's ok, I'll wait.
In fact, why you are doing that, I'll watch it myself, just to refresh my memories.







So, we are done?
Ready to discuss.

First thing is first, it is a biased literal video and while some of the other versions, which in my mind are the Classic Liter Videos" of Total Eclipse of the Heart, Take on Me and whatever Meatloaf song that was.
Which is basically just a literal version of what is happening without outside commentary, which kind of comes into play with the anti-Avril vibes.
That being said I do enjoy the "I'm pretty sure that's not how Newton's Laws of Motion Work". That line is just gold.
As is "Why won't someone call security"
Then again, I just maybe overly sensitive to the phrase "Guitars make me feel cooler". Coz dude, guitars make me feel cooler.
In fact the coolest I will ever look is a photo of me playing electric guitar.

All of that is pretty meaningless, the main reason why I find it an absolute train wreck is because it sounds like an absolute train wreck.
I'm pretty sure it is derailing as it plays.
The audio quality of the track is TERRIBLE.
I've heard some poor quality audio, but that is just a new level.
It's all distorted and bad and the singer needs to just move the microphone back. It can pick you up, just please stop screaming it... I just have no words.

I'm also not entirely sure if it is actually the song, it is vaguely similar, but if push came to shove, I do not think that the song that is singing sounds like "Girlfriend" Avril Lavigne.

And the harmonies are horrible.

The performance of this song is beyond bad.
I have no words to define just how bad the actual version of the song is.

Which is a shame since some of the lines, as noted above, are just hilarious.

That and LEAVE AVRIL ALONE!!
Except Girlfriend, someone needs to slap her for that.


That concludes this super long post.

As an added bonus, I offer you this clip, which the literal version just failed to acknowledge the complete randomness of the clip.
This one doesn't make me angry. It just disappoints me.


Until Next time, I'm Elyse and this is where my rants go to die.