The Ramblings of Elyse

It's the 2nd of the Month, which means only one thing.

And that one thing only means something to me, but that one thing is all those Google Questions answered!
This is the third part of a series which I hope is ongoing because it my favourite thing to write!

This Month's Google Searches, that lead many people here. I am here to answer the questions you never asked!


1. Elyse and the aftermath 

I am not entirely sure why so many of these searches include my name, but it happens a lot. Maybe I should stop referring to myself in the third person so much....

Nah... That's not going to happen.

Though, I am assuming you are asking about my role in the aftermath.
So, I did a quick dictionary search of "aftermath", just so we are all clear on the matter.
Here are the meanings:

aftermath |ˈaftərˌmaθ|
noun
1 the consequences or aftereffects of an event, esp. when unpleasant : food prices soared in the aftermath of the drought.
2 Farming new grass growing after mowing or harvest.

Well, I don't actually have a role in any kind of farming.
Thus, my story of Elyse and the aftermath.

"As the workers slaved away in the field at the hands of a master that was very unforiving, Elyse, the name they spat out whenever it was mentioned. Whenever something even sounded like that very name there was a united shudder. They were trapped in this field, untited in the hatred of this Elyse character.

They planned, the schemed and under the moon of the harvest they decided that finally they would have action.
Once their duty was done and their debts apparently paid off as the corn was collected and bundled together  to sell at the market. They would rise up and take control of the land.
They would be free.

At least, the day was done and the fields were clear.
They took their posestions and the plan began.

The small ringleaders had expected the masses to follow, but they did not.
They were defeated and their cries of the defeat cried out into the night as their blood made way for the new growth of land.

Their blood would create the aftermath of the next harvest".

That is why I'm not a writer.
So, another story of Elyse and the first definition of aftermath.


Consequence?
Well, we all have consequence.

What kind of thing are you looking for?

My consequence is that I get to see who people really are.
It's interesting.
It's not in good times that you find out who people are, it's when they are challenged.

That's the fun of the aftermath.
That's where things are revealed.

I really wish that wasn't the case.

But alas.
Stick with the first story...
It's kind of funny.

2. Hugging Problem

Admitting you have a problem is the first step.
Or is the second step?

Is it even a step?

Whatever, so you have a hugging problem.

Do you feel unconformtable hugging people or being hugged?
Or are you just really bad at it and need some guidance into how to hug.
If that is the case, I am in the process of working on an instructional video about hugging.
I promise it won't include any rap and that hurts me most of all.

The first thing when it comes to hugging is an understanding between the person more active in the hugging process (the hugger) and then the person who is kind of relecant (the huggee).
Hey, if you are having a problem with the hugging, there is gonna be a hugger and a huggee...

If it's a mutual problem, then you are probably hugging wrong and you need to sit down with your behugged and talk some stuff out.
Especially if you feel a need to be doing the Christian Side Hug because otherwise the sexual tension is making everyone feel uncomfortable.
If you hugging someone has ever made a non-hugging particapiant leave the room.
You need to have a "Hug Chat" which is the discussing of when your hugs became less hugging more canoodling.


Now the understanding needs to take into account the fact of what kind of hug is it going to be?
Is gonna be a side hug?
Is it gonna be a they are sitting down, I'm standing up and thus there needs to work out how they hugging is gonna work like that?
Awkward car hug?

There are so many questions to be asked.
And I will provide solutions in the Ramblings of Elyse presents: Hugging Problems- What's up with that?

Trust me googler, I got your back. I'll work on this day and night until I have an answer!

3. Literal Songs

I get this one a lot.
Which is kind of awesome and hilarious.

What is a literal song?

It is a song that accompanies the original song's filmclip but the words have been changed to describe what is happening in the film clip.

Though, for a dictionary definition:
Literal: taking words in their usual or most basic sense without metaphor or allegory
Song: a short poem or other set of words set to music or meant to be sung.

So, taking words in their most basic sense without metaphor set to music.

Ummm... that's not helpful.
Just read the original post.

4. Stalking

Dictionary:  harass or persecute (someone) with unwanted and obsessive attention

I assume you already knew that, perhaps you were looking for some tips on stalking.
I suppose I could supply some...
Not really my area of expertise, but I do have a friend that her alternative use is her knowledge of stalking.
I could ask, since she is totally  stalking me.
I think she is outside my window right now.


But, from what I've learnt from TV.
Stalking will totally get you the girl of your dreams...
It may just be if you are a vampire.
So, if you are a vampire. Stalk her until she gives in. Just remember: Be Safe.



5. Ramblings of Elyse

That would be here.
I hope you found what you were looking for.

Which seems like a ramble from Elyse and I am only too happy to provide such a service.


6. Whatever Happened to Elyse? 

Good question. 
Anyone know the answer? 




Until next month, Search hard.  

I've been keeping my eye out on my visitors to the site to a handy feature on Google and the best thing about this is let's me know how people get to my site and some people stumble on here from Google.

I think this also means I should give a shout to all those people who have stumbled here, without me making you. You people are super awesome. Especially the Dutch person

Yes, it is my favourite segment EVER! As it first appeared here.

Google has lead you here, and now I will answer your questions.

1. Buffy Lore.

Yes, I know a lot about that.
I can answer most questions, since Buffy Lore is my most searched option, which totally awesome.
You should ask more specific questions.

But I'll go with the obvious.

In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against
the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer.


She was Buffy, a mighty warrior forged in the heat of battle, her courage will save the world. A lot.

But Buffy, she was different, she had a soul now. Ok, she always had a soul, that was just my own little joke.
Anyway, she didn't fight the vampirtes, the demons and the forces of darkness alone. She had a motley crew of people behind her, who basically kept her alive and what made her different from the other slayers of the vampyres.

Thus, we have Buffy.
It's awesome, you should all love it. Buffy. Woo.

2. Elyse evers.
Do I ever what?

Ramble? Yes.
Rant? Yes.
Shut up? Only when I'm asleep and that's only some times.

3. Elyse rambling passion.

Why yes, this Elyse does have a passion for rambling. Thanks for noticing.

4. James Marsters.

He played Spike on Buffy. I hate Spike, I don't hate James Marsters.

5. Literal Songs.
Do people search for this a lot because pretty sure I answered this one last time.
So, I'll just pimp my link again.

6. Prayer of St Francis of Assisi Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Well, let us first start off with St Francis of Assisi.
St Francis of Assisi is the patron saint of animals, the environment and Italy, he started an order of priests who are the friars.

The prayer is attributed to him, but very doubtful he actually wrote it since it can only be traced back to 1912 with a version in French, when the dude was Italian.

Either way, here's the actual prayer:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon:
where there is doubt, faith ;
where there is despair, hope
where there is darkness, light
where there is sadness, joy
O divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Amen.

Now, what does that have to do with Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Sarah McLachlan, oh, Sarah McLachlan, who breaks my heart into tiny, tiny pieces.

She has a version of this, sung... Obviously.
It is used at the end of Grave, the finale of Season 6.
After Xander talks down Willow and Willow breaks down in his arms, cue Sarah McLachlan with Prayer of St Francis.

It was trying to create the pure heartbreak that Sarah McLachlan is instrumental in playing Becoming Part 2. Oh... That is why it directed it there. I've written that rant before.

Sarah McLachlan, why? Just why?

7. What happened to my weekend?

That's a good question.
Did you look behind the couch?

Or did you weekend go up in a haze of alcohol fuelled Buffy Marathon? Coz not a bad way to spend weekend.

Things that tend to happen to me: Oh! YouTube video... Oh! Related links... 12 hours later... OOOHHH!! RELATED LINKS!

"hey, we should hang out" - 24 hours of random conversation, threats of violence and the funnier conversation happening while sober.

Co-op tetris.

But googler, I can only hope you can find your weekend and that my tips and tricks have helped.



'til next time Googlers, you keep on googling.

Elyse

I am hoping this be a regular segment since it is my dream, but well, my dreams are weird so let's not call them!

I've been keeping my eye out on my visitors to the site to a handy feature on Google and the best thing about this is let's me know how people get to my site and some people stumble on here from Google.

Well, I'm assuming Google, do other search engines even exist?

Those who stumbled here, I am going to answer your questions, because that's just the kind of person I am.

1. literal song descriptions

I don't know what you are looking for, but I hope you found it.

2. literal dance moves
Literal dance moves are the dance moves that correspond with the lyrics that are being sung at that point of time.
The most obvious example is "put your hands up in the air" and you respond with putting your hands in the air.

This is also an example of peer pressure en masse.

There is a difference between literal dancing and instructional dancing.
For some instructional dancing is that the words in the song tell you what to do, the example of this is the Time Warp from the Rocky Horror Picture Show. It's the chorus (It's just a jump to the right) or for those who are much more disturbed, there is the "Hoedown Throwdown" by Miley Cyrus.
Then again, some of those instructions are pretty messed up and that's why the Hoedown Throwdown will not be a dance sensation. That and it's trendy to hate Miley Cyrus.
But that's not the point.
Pretty sure someone wants it to be massive, because there are quite a few instructional videos on how to do the hoedown, one by Miley herself, which really emphasis what the hell are with those words?

Kids these days.

So they are some classic examples of instructional dance, then we have literal moves.
Literal moves are an interpretation of the lyrics into dance.

I honed my literal dancing in my youth group where we play songs and they have actions, though, I've never really done them since I'm a guitarist, which I thank God for every day.
But our actions are largely based on the literal dance movement.
Which is in our song they mention a fish, then there is the swimming fish that goes with it.
One song has the line "So we leave our boats behind", that is a rowing action.
It is very childish and very funny to watch new people react.

But how does this relate to the dance floor that I'm sure our questioner wanted to know.

So, I've decided to go to my iTunes and find a random song that has been released and was deemed successful.
And we have "Sk8er Boi" by Avril Lavigne, for those who don't know, I know you are lying. For some Elyse related trivia, I sang this song at Karaoke in Montreal, yeah. I name drop, geographically.

Now here are Elyse's Literal Dancing Move Tips:
"He was a boy"- Try some stereotypical manly moves such as the manly head nods to the rhythm, it's only small, it's just the one line.
"She was a girl"- I imagine something prissy
"Can I make it anymore obvious"- Imagine that you are in the middle of class and trying to say something about the class dreamboat to your bestie across the room and when they don't get it, when you are telling them after class how obvious it was that the dreamboat is in love with the bestie. The hand action that go with that are what you should do.
"We was a punk"- Kind of head bang with that annoying trademark Avril photo shoot pose. You know the one I'm talking about.
That actually took a lot longer for me to find then I expected, I was actually a little disappointed.
"She did ballet"- You do ballet. Can I make it anymore obvious?
"What more can I say?"- Similar to the Can I make it any more obvious, except the bestie is clearly in denial, so it's the action you make when you've laid down all the evidence and you are like "Dude! It's totally there! Why else would he be outside your window watching you sleep?"

The other general tips are anything where they mention a musical instrument do the air of that instrument, in most music they'll only be like guitar, unless you listen to Billy Joel and then it's the Piano Man.
So, air guitar.
Air guitar is also an appropriate literal dance move for "rocking out" or "rocking up" or "rockstar" or anything like that.
Any kind of farewell salutation is waving, but not in that super excited I've been waiting for 3 hours for you to show up and had to fight off 327 other groups to keep this table. This is the you are supporting your bestie in the bitch off and she has just made the ultimate call and there is no comeback so storms off, the wave that is "suck it bitch".

And there are Elyse's tips to literal dancing.

3. buffy bar à vampire "johnny's bar"

The bar in Buffy where the vampires hanged out was "Willy's Bar" or as the sign said "Willy's Place", there was also the Bronze where lots of vampires hung out.

I don't know who Johnny is vampire kind good luck.


And that was Elyse, helping out the Google people who got lost in the awesomeness.

'til next time.