The Ramblings of Elyse

I love Google.

I'm not going to lie, I love Google more than I love a lot of things.
In fact, I am going to give you a list of things I love in order.

1. Patrick Joe and my other assorted musical instruments
2. Buffy
3. Google
4. Adam (He is dreamy)
5. Angel Muppet
6. My loyal readers

I wonder how many people are going to get offended by number 4 there.
I imagine that I'm gonna get sent a message being all like "Why do you love Adam more than me?", so Loyal Readers, I love you too.

I once declared my love for Google to one of my friends and I said "what doesn't Google know?" and Lexi was all "how to love?"
I took this as a challenge, and did what any other sane person would do.

I googled "How to Love".

And I thank God every day that I did that because now, now I know how to love.

Thank you, WikiHow, now I know how to love.
And it evens includes a picture to help you on the way.

I feel more equipped for the world knowing the 6 steps of love and I will go through the six steps and followed by how it is going to help me love Google more. KT, feel free to replace your name with Google if that will make you feel better.

1. Saying it.... (Google, I love you. I heart you. I less than three you! )


2. Empathize.... (Yes, Google you are a website. I understand that is what you do and that may impact how you do things)

3. Love Unconditionally... (Google, I will love you, even though I know that sometimes you won't give me the right answers in my first attempt and it might take me several attempts to get there but I know we will eventually get there.. TOGETHER. I will love you through all of that.)

4. Expect nothing in return... (Google, I understand that you are a website and many people love you, they love you as their outlet to the web, in their quest for knowledge, to find out so many things, you lead the way. I'd be naive to think that I'd be the only person to love you and I know, that you are a website, who helps so many and could love so many that, I know this love may be unrequited. But it is something... It is something...)

5. Realise it can be lost... (Dear Google, I know there will be day where your awesome searching abilities will be beaten by something or the internet dies, but I will live in the now where our love is strong. All my love, Elyse)

6. Never stop loving... (There's always Yahoo!)



Now, this knowledge combined with another helpful page I found on WikiHow.
Seriously guys, WikiHow... It will teach you how to live...

And also apparently help you pick up...

How to hug a guy... ROMANTICALLY>....

Hot.

I don't think it's really Ramblings of Elyse to go through this blog, I don't want to corrupt the minds of the readers...
But readers, just remember if you are planning to go out, find yourself a man to hug just keep these in mind.

• If you don't think you're ready to try all of this, don't worry. Wait until you're ready - then you can really enjoy it all.
• Don't force the hug. He might not be ready for it, so just wait for another time.
• Don't attack the guy. Show him how you feel, but let him take the lead.
• If things go past either of your limits, stop it right away and let each other know how far your limits are.
• Don't hurt the guy. And don't let him hurt you. Everyone has their squeeze limit.
• Only apply this to a guy you actually like. Never toy with a guy's feelings, especially if it's because you want to make someone else jealous. It never ends well.
• Make sure that he actually likes you because if he doesn't,it will be really awkward in the end.

Ok, I don't want to appear sexist, I'll see what I can find out for the boys.



I'm back! Ok... I guess you couldn't really tell if I left.

One thing this lesson has taught me is that man, I am such a whore, I give up my hugs so easily.
I don't think Jesus hugged anyone like that.

So, Boys, how to hug a girl. 
Everything you need to know about how to hug a girl...
Now, this isn't about hugging romantically, but I think it could be renamed "How to pick up with your hugs".

But it does warn me:
""Couple" status is not a requirement for hugging a girl, but you should at least be on familiar terms with her. Hugs between opposite-gender friends are often reserved for more significant moments, such as when parting before moving away, or returning after a long absence. Still, as long as you are respectful toward her, an occasional hug is probably fine. If it is too awkward for one or both of you, it may be best to avoid initiating one, but don't rule out the possibility of a hug being appropriate at some later point."

The best way to make sure we all know what the hug is "if it is just a friendly hug, don't hold on for more than 3 seconds and laugh when you let go".



Good to know, WikiHow, Good to know.

I'll be paying attention to this now when I go to hug some boys. Yeah, that's right... I said plural. What up? 


You've taught me that I should just stick to my Christian Side Hugs...



Yes, I can't get enough of that video and EMBEDDING! What's not to love?

OkWikiHow from the not Relationships section...

Here's a good one.
How to avoid being shot by a Police Officer
I have some good advice for this.

Don't break the law. Don't carry weapons. If there is a cop with their gun out, don't be a douche.
Simple advice.


And finally, something I can use in my every day life.

I realise that is the assumption that you actually click on the list.
If it helps, one of the tips is "Don't be a geek, or a nerd. Be well liked among your class, by chatting and giggling with everyone. Make sure everyone has heard of your name before!"

I wonder if I can get tips on being a nerd...
Oh... They do. Awesome.

Way to perpetuate stereotypes, Internet! 

Armed with knowledge...
ONWARDS we go!

Today, I'm coming at you from my lecture.

That's right, Introduction to Popular Culture.

I think that's the name of the subject. I'm clearly paying a lot of attention since I am now writing a blog.
Go team.

Well, we are currently doing hip hop and rap. I really hate Hip Hop and rap.
Right now we are doing the watching of YouTube videos of the international hip hop scene.
We've just gone from the rap version of "I Was Only 19" by the Herd.

Now just moved on to some French rap. Yes, French rap. They rap in French. It's kind of hilarious.

It goes on with my belief that no one can sound tough when speaking in French. Oh, they try and they try and sound angry but on of the lines was baguette which, delicious!
Now, I need to find a German song about bunnies and running in fields.

Today, I'm actually in the big hall. Big lecture hall!
It's called the JPH. I think of it as the NPH and it makes me laugh. Only calling it that.

For those playing along at home, that dude's girlf is back. She was in this lecture and she was in the one before.
Ok, maybe one day, one lecture, But come on!

I can't even make fun of you anymore, I just feel sad for her.

That being said, I had a discussion about how ridiculous it is going to someone else's lectures and then asked the dangerous question of "well, would you do it?" and the answer was pretty much yes.
So, if that happens, I'll be throwing an intervention party.

All are welcome to attend.


So, in this lecture, I've been thinking about the best ways to not pay attention. There is also the fine line of being a disturbance to others and I assure you, I know all about it.
In fact, I never got a report card sent home that didn't feature "Elyse is a disturbance to herself and others" and "Elyse would achieve better results if she could focus on the task at hand".

That being said, it was never an issue because my parents had 3 other children with the exact same comments. Names changed, obviously. And then mum got the same comments as well.
What a shocking result that my family is a distraction to itself and others.

In degree v1.0 the original, I ended up with a merry band of people to distract. I developed a UWS Monopoly board. It was pretty awesome.

That distracted others, just not as much as we thought considering someone was a little bit bitter that we didn't invite them to play.

In terms of not paying attention to lectures- Laptops are fair game, as long as sound is down. Talking... yeah, that's ok...
Getting out your guitar and/or bass in the middle of lecture?

I'm going to put that down as "what the fuck, seriously?"

It's weird man. Really weird.

That being said, yesterday I was googling things hoping to end up with here. Mainly some of the Christian Side Hug love, just trying to get on the front page of Google with the Christian Side Hug.
It was said, I wasn't?
Should I have talked about the Christian Side Hug lyrics more?
Should I have featured the actual Christian Side Hug video?
Am I trying to skew the results to end up with the Christian Side hug google page commetary to end up here instead?
Is it that obvious?

I am just trying to work out how many times I need to mention the Christian Side Hug lyrics or video or just general Christian side hugs to be able to do it?

Ok, I'll stop because it's in my head and it will never get out!

Nope, it's ok.
There's a dude in my lecture who I see and in my mind gets Gimme Gimme Gimme a Man after Midnight by Abba.
It makes me laugh.

Lecture over. Blog over.
Worth it?

Probably not.

I'm the type of person that quite often listens to the one song over and over and over again.
In fact, I know why I do this and it is up there with my three things I do most when things are not doing all that well. Well, I guess it depends on what song it is, but if we are generalising.

The other thing that tends to happen is that I have massive associations with songs and associate them with various people.

Right now I am struggling to think of an example, but I have associations and certain songs go in certain places and with certain things and that's just how it rolls.
Come to think of it, I've written about the placement of songs before and the heavy associations with them in terms of film and Television, clearly talking about Buffy.

The same thing applies to other people, if only because it's my goal to learn how to play "(Do you wanna date my) Avatar" on Guitar. The acoustic version, obviously.
Which is on YouTube somewhere.

I can kind of play it, but I'm not very good with the words.

Which gets me to this point.
I'm currently listening to the Bond Theme on repeat.

It's part of an assignment that I'm currently avoiding doing, but the funny thing is how I can fake this as researching, when I'm really just listening to the one song over and over again.

My ultimate aim is to stop it from making me want to walk into a room and shoot the camera, because that would hurt my camera, and I'm not wearing a suit.

That and there is clearly not enough room in my room to pull it off as successfully as I want, so alas, not attempts to get me to try and make my own Bond credits.

That and I'd need to think of the title of what movie, I'd be in and that's just not where I'm creative.

Basically, this song is going to get in my head and I'm going to be starting walking strangely and then shooting people.

We can only hope that I manage to get a license to kill and am not arrested and horribly tortured trying to reveal my spy contacts.
Where would I apply to get a license to kill?
Do I need to talk to Gladys Knight?

That is quite possibly the worst attempt I could ever make at trying to be funny.

Maybe I should just move on, write this 600 words about the texture of the Bond Theme, so I can stop listening to it.


Dear the Monty Norman Orchestra,

Please don't die in my brain.

Regards,
Elyse.

I was just talking to the very infamous Mar(t)y McFly, who apparently is thinking about getting a blog, so peer pressure her for that so I can link her.

I've been told that I talk about Buffy too much and as someone who isn't interested in Buffy, which I plan to fix at some stage, but I shouldn't put that on the internet.

Thus, I have a non-Buffy/Joss Whedon post.

This is a warning, that if you have a topic you want me to write about, leave it in the comments.

This request comes from something I've been twittering about a lot.

As I'm sure I've mentioned, I recently started degree v2.0- this time it's personal and I mentioned many, many posts ago was that I had orientation first. Funny that.

At orientation, I saw this guy and girl canoodling in the room where the audio kids had assembled and I thought "A classroom full of people is not really a place to canoodle" and then promptly forgot about it until last week.

When, I was sitting in my Audio Tech lecture and saw the dude sitting next to his girlf.

And now I know that the audio tech lecture? Hot place for a date!

Now, Audio Tech... Does this sound like an interesting subject, readers?
It is, but I'm an Audio Student!
This subject is about the theory of sound, it's all physics and what not.

The other thing to remember is that my place of learning is in the middle of the City. THE MIDDLE OF THE CITY!
The lecture goes for two hours.

Come on Girlf! You could wander around the city for two hours or maybe sit down, grab a coffee, read a book or maybe, the best couple time is sitting next to your boyf as he pays attention and takes not. Yeah, sweet hot learning love right there.

Now, I thought maybe she was leaving the country or I don't know, I just thought it was weird she was in the lecture.

But no, it got worse.
That was a lecture, it's a small class but there is not interacting.

The next class was a tute. It was a Digi Tech tute, which is sitting and playing on computers to create a mix. This class you don't talk to anyone, you can actually go the entire hour and not to talk to anyone, because it's just the computer and the headphones.
There's no interaction.

Nope. The Girlf was there.
Even better couple time, just sitting there watching the boyf work on his mix. It's a mixing project too, there's no time to talk to anyone otherwise, boom! FAIL!
Well, not that dramatic, but there are only 4 one hour sessions to work on it.

I just can't get over it.
Why would you go to another person's lectures? I hardly want to go to them and I'm doing the subject.
I'm just lazy that way.

It's not like you can talk, at best you can whisper rudely and quite possibly end up with an injury caused by a pen or a chair or hold hands and awkwardly type notes with one hand.

I just don't get the point!
It's called a book! INVEST IN IT!
If not a book, maybe some music, or a fucking nap!

That was last week, I had forgotten about this, until today when I was late to my class, refer to the lazy thing, and kind of running past the place that smells like coffee that I can't stay too long otherwise bad things happen. I don't like the smell of coffee, it makes me nauseous, and there was the dude... with his Girlf.

The most interesting thing to note, this dude shares a lot of the same classes with me... His name is Andy, which I didn't think was fair to use, since I don't know his girlf's name.
Oh... right that point, so in the Place of Coffee at uni, there I saw Andy and his Girlf...
I was late to class and he was just loitering with his girlf?

What the hell?

I guess it is more couple-y time then the middle of a lecture, but why would you miss a tute when you are clearly there for it to hang out with your girlf?

And then she was in the Lecture again.

I don't remember about the digi tech tute, since I was working on my mix and every much in my own little world.

Then it comes down to who brings their significant other to their place of learning?
IN THEIR PLACE OF LEARNING?
Like lectures and stuff?

That being said, I saw it happen once when I was out at UWS Hawkesbury, but I think he was dragged along with a purpose and it's Hawkesbury Campus, there's nothing interesting about.

But school right in the middle of the city?
There is plenty of stuff to waste 2 hours there!
PLENTY OF STUFF!!

There is only one lesson I've learnt in all of this, I need to find me a hot date for my audio tech lecture next week.

Anyone free next Thursday at 11?
For some hot Audio Tech Action...
Hot.

Today we talked about Microphone pre-amps, next week I think we are going through the mid-semester exam.

Man, that action.
That is so hot, it can burn your retinas just thinking about it.

Better watch out for those fire exits in the room!

Today was that joyous day for parents, retail workers and public transport users, basically everyone but those actually going back to school.

For them it is nothing but torture going from the stress free existence to having to go to school, waking up early, going to class and having to do work or homework and assignments and all that kind of jazz.

That being said, when I went back to school back in my youth I looked forward to it a tiny bit because it did mean I get to see my friends and sit and bitch with them up about the previous class, or whatever we discussed.. It's been awhile now.

After school, my education continued into uni and had 6 months of holidays and much more apathy regarding my study. Which considering was never very high, the complete lack of caring I had for these things is kind of impressive.

But once high school is over, you learn to love school terms because nowhere is packed and gain that disdain for the school kids, while hoping that you were never that obnoxiousness.

This fact never meant more than went I started working at 9, my bus to work was a school bus, a school bus for four schools. Yes, four schools. Those school holidays where the bus wasn't packed, especially with the high pitch squeals that only teenage girls can do.

As each stage of my education came to an end it always came with a no more statement. When I finished each of my HSC exams came with the statement "Yes, no more ".
At the end of Spring Semester, 2007 "Yes, no more full time uni"
At the end of Autumn Semester, 2008 "YES! No MORE EDUCATION EVER!"
I was no longer another brick in the wall.

I was free. I wore my hat and gown, had my name called out to collect my degree, walked across the stage and shook the Chancellor's hand as he called me the wrong number and told me to pose for the photo.

I had my degree, I had letters after my name. It was awesome, but most importantly, no more school. No more assignments. No more lectures. No more exams. Just work...

Oh...

Not that free, but who cares?
I already had a job lined up and was ready to go...

But alas... Not how it works, thus this we are here.

My statement of No more education?
Nothing but a memory, as I once again, join the forces going back to school.

I'm not longer disorientated... That didn't work as well as I was hoping it would.

I'm a student again, I've enrolled, I've registered for classes, have my timetable all set, I had orientation yesterday and am all set to have my first class on Monday.
I live in fear that I will be the annoying mature age student who will be all like "Well, the we do it is this..."
The audio kids seem to be split about half between fresh out of high school and not.

They even provided beer at the orientation and it was regular sandwiches not sausage sandwiches.


I've rejoined the back to the school fold.
I bought my supplies today and by supplies I mean a book to write stuff and colour in the margins.

But I have have the card and I've got the books, now this learning, huh?

Welcome back, Elyse.
Welcome back.