The Ramblings of Elyse

In case no one has ever noticed, I am deeply, deeply amused by the search terms from Google that helps people end up in my little neck of the internet.

This explains why I have a regular segment about it.

The thing with my search terms, it is either about hugs or about literal songs.
I didn't think my literal song post was that spectacular but it ends up with the most consistent hits.

However, the thing about the hugs?
What IS with that?

At what point should I be worried about this hug thing?
Are some kind of Christians gonna come after me when they notice that my hugs aren't appropriate?
Are some random people going to be all like "You're that girl that rants angrily about Spike and talks about hugs a lot" and then go to hug me.

Dear Fandom,

DON'T RANDOMLY HUG ME!!
If you need to approach me, do so with slow steady movements as not to startle me and cause injury.
If you'd like some tips about dealing with Elyse, please read this helpful information. 

All my love,
Elyse

Dear People I know and work with,

Please stop touching me.

Thanks,
Elyse

When I'm at work, I stalk News websites.
At work, I kind of care about the news, when I have time to myself, not so much.


The work thing is just why there is a delay in posting this and when I found the article. So I found this article ages ago and for those who refuse to click links. Hi Adam!

Does he actually read this?
Either way, Hi Adam!

Oh right, so for those who refuse to click links, here is the summary, some dude got drunk and sent Steve Jobs his review of the iPad.
And really, who hasn't done that?

Just me than?
Well, this is awkward.
I'm working on a scale of how awkward things are. I have a REALLY good one, but I'm pretty sure it is on my list of things I'm not meant to know about and by "not meant to know". That isn't that much of a loaded statement, right?
Not the Scooby Gang, right? Right.

So, moving on...

The Drunken Critic, which is something I wanted to steal until I googled it and it apparently it already exists and then I cried a little bit.
Ok, I'm on quite a bunch of tangents right now.

Ok, the Drunken Critic sent Steve Jobs an email and was all like but how can the iPad be revelotionary when it restricts a whole bunch of content, revolutions are all about freedom!

Which is a nice little quote, I don't think it is something I can really agree with.
I don't think it is necessarily about freedom, except maybe in terms of overthrowing a oppressor but in the two revolutions I mainly know about, which are the French and Russian, while both monarchs were overthrown, it didn't lead to this great free land.

There are actually two Russian revolutions in 1917, one which lead to a democratic-eque government, which last a couple of months before another revolution and the Bolsheviks took over and Russia became the USSR.
 The USSR isn't really known for its freedom.

I just realised that is two posts in a row that I have mentioned something about Russian history.
I did a whole bunch of Russian History at school and it haunts me still.
Oh, Trotsky, the greatest Jew since Christ... I don't think I'll ever forget that. EVER.

So, I think the Drunken Critic wants to believe in liberty, equality and fraternity or for some French Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité. Which rock on son, rock on!
Just because that is the motto of the French Revolution, it doesn't make it real for all revolutions.

Now, considering that we use the revolution else where in life and not regarding the masses deciding to storm the Bastile... VIVA LA FRANCE!
Should I get my beret out?

But revolutions... It has something to do with a car, the revs thing, I don't know what it means.
And in old school records, RPM! Revolutions per minute.
It basically means to turn around, thank you, Wikipedia.

So yeah, Drunk Critic, I want to tell you to shut for being wrong, but considering you are less of a tool than Steve Jobs, you don't get my wrath.

Oh, Steve Jobs... Steve, Steve, Steve...

You're response?

"Yep, freedom from programs that steal your private data, Freedom from programs that trash your battery. Freedom from porn."


There's more, it's published here.


I just want to go with the original reponse.

But do you people ACTUALLY know what freedom is?

Freedom is mostly associated with the political ideal, that everyone is free to make their own decisions.
But it is basically the unrestricted use of something.


Adding or taking away something that makes an aspect of it restricted, is restricting the freedom of use.
There is no arguement to that.
Freedom from stealing private data or freedom from porn, isn't freedom. Don't let them name fool you.
It's not because it takes away that choice that damn it, I might just want to watch some porn on my iPad.

Why do I get the strange feeling that my saying that is going to be quoted often?



It's the attitude of "what about the children? Won't someone think of the children?" that really pisses me off.
My issue with the Steve Jobs comment is basically the same as my issue with the internet censorship blacklist.

It's the same argument, the what about the children. Well, perhaps someone should actually be monitoring what their kids are doing on the computer and do stuff that way instead of making the entire Australian population suffer.

But Steve Jobs freedom from porn is bullshit, who is giving their kids free reign of their iPads to start off with because that is the bigger problem here.


If you want to restrict flash content on your devices, sure, that's cool, just don't claim it has anything to do with freedom because it doesn't. That isn't freedom.

But seriously, someone think of the children! THINK OF THE CHILDREN!


Oh, France, I love you and your motto, but I really don't think liberty, equality or fraternity are actually possible people are just fucked.
However, that's never a reason to stop it from being the ideal.

So, we are 8 days from Bastille Day...
Thus, Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité.

FROMAGE! 

Ok, as a disclaimer, I actually wrote this on the 3rd of June. I just haven't posted it til now, but since I kind of make reference to it in this blog, I felt I should actually post it.
Parts of it are so much less important now, I know. Which is why there is this disclaimer.  




Something happened a couple of weeks that has kind of sent a whole bunch of things into a tailspin.

Which you know, kind of sucks. That one event can just massively impact everything else and it sucks even more because it has overall just made me feel ridiculously pathetic.

Yeah, I'm being deliberately vague. That is on purpose due to the feeling ridiculously pathetic.

But I was thinking about WHY it bothers me so much.
Well, it depends on which angle I look at it. There is the chance that I was fucked over and injustice and all that bullshit. Or you know, lack of respect and trust in me, which I have spent years trying to pretend that it doesn't matter.

The real thing is. I want to be remembered. I want to be able to have some kind of impact to an organisation that I spent years at.
And how do we refer to the passing of time? "Whose weekend was it that year?"
It's not about years or passing of time, but by the names of people.

I leave and it all just fades away.
I fade away.

I realise I do the same thing at work. I'm on the quest for some kind of legacy, some kind of proof that I was there.
That I actually had an impact on something.
Anything.

I think this is something I have a skewed view on. I'm not denying that, but maybe I read through Harry Potter one too many times.
The whole "I remember that name from having to clean the trophies" aspect or the fact at work, I know the names and roles of so many people I've never met because I've either seen them on the show or have seen their names on briefs.
But, I don't have that.

In Stalin's USSR, people would be executed and then wiped out of records. Photos would be doctored, reports destroyed. It would be as those people never existed and that was exactly the point.   What do you mean there was someone who disagreed with me?
What proof do you have?
None. Because I destroyed it.

And there is always need to prove it. If you can't prove it. It didn't happen.
If you CAN'T prove it, than it can't exist.

I can prove I existed. I have paperwork and everything. Pretty sure

Maybe I've over thought this, maybe I just can't see what the actual story is and what happens, and I probably shouldn't care as much as I do.
But I do.

The post that NO ONE has been waiting for!
Well, I am super excited to write it, so awesome!

Last night I saw Wicked. It was the third time I have seen it, I first time was in New York (and NO, not with Idina... I've said that a lot recently. I wish it was Idina), and then last year in Sydney.

You can read all about what I thought about the New York production here.  That is actually a good post about my fleeing the country since it features the link to my quote in the New York Post.

I just reread that post, I was nowhere near as harsh as what I'm about to be. Then again, I think the talent pool of musical actors in New York is much wider. Or I was just super excited to be in New York, which just as likely.

Now, as a precursor to this. I love Wicked. It is one of my favourite musicals.
I'm very much of the "with all it's faults, I love it still" school of thought.
I am not blinded by the awesome and the lights, so if you are going to come in with a "oh noes! Wicked is awesome, how dare you say these horrible things"
Then I laugh a little bit because I can easily say it because I'm not deaf!

So, if you are one of those fanboys who are gonna throw stuff at me for being "mean" or whatever, pretend like I care, since your fanboy status probably has nothing on me.

Ok, I realised something was strange when I started writing.
I didn't have the right soundtrack to my writing happening, but that's now been rectified, hello Idina, I've missed you so.

Last night, the ever present KT and I went on a hot date of pancakes and Wicked.
I am pretty sure I should not word it like that on here.
The pancakes WERE delicious, thanks for asking!

KT was also sick and delirious and almost killed children on the train. It was fun!
The KT part is important part of the story, because it features me getting slapped a lot.

The thing I was most excited about in seeing Wicked this time was the complete and utter lack of Millsy as Fiyero. He is just bad. So bad.
The understudy who was on last night was good, much better.
He managed to get the high notes in As Long As Your Mine. That makes him a keeper in my eyes.
The tight pants at the begining... Well, that's a different issue, he looked much better when he got some looser pants on.

Ok, I just went on a Idina YouTube fest. I'm sorry world.
But that's part of my problem.
I will always compare whoever plays Elaphba and Glinda to Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenowith, and it is is easy to compare to the Original Broadway Cast Recording, because that's what I hear so much, but that's not what I compare it to.
Because I am completely aware of the things that you can do in the recording process, the mixing, the mastering. There is LOTS you can do.
"Ok, Idina, that was great, but just want you to do that last chorus of Defying Gravity again to overdub it. Awesome".
To destroy the magic, that's what happens. I have a further post I want to make about this.

Thus, comparing anything live to a recording is stupid. Yes, I said. You simply can't do it. Unless it is a live recording, but that's a different kettle of fish.

But YouTube? YouTube is a whole nother ballgame. YouTube that is illegally taken, hello copyright, didn't see you there!
Which generally has crappy audio, and you know it's live, and I'm not going to lie, I've watched A LOT of those of Idina and Cheno, so that's the live performance and thus my standard.

And, well, it's Idina and it's Cheno!

As we walked into the theatre KT was all like "I think I like this Glinda more than Cheno" and for the record, yes, Cheno IS how we say it. I was completely devestated.
How could I know someone that would make such outrageous statements about the awesomeness that is Cheno?
Seriously, Cheno should beat you to death with her Tony!


Sorry, where was I?

Now, something you may not know about me is that I enjoy making sarcastic commentary. I know it is a shocking, shocking revelation but you know, sarcastic commentary.

Yes, I will be on that special level of hell for people who talk in the theatre.

Now, KT has threatened to slap me A LOT. Some times I feel if she hasn't threatened to slap me once every time I see here I am not doing my duty as a friend.
She has never carried through with this threat, I found out the reasoning is because I don't like sudden movement and her going to slap me is enough to freak me out.

Yeah, this isn't the Wicked standard though, since I got slapped a fair bit. She didn't care much for my commentary and if anyone is wondering, no, no one did try and kill me.

I stopped writing for some reason and now I don't really remember my issues that I had, but considering that we bitched all throughout intermission and for the train trip home.


Dammit! Why did I stop writing earlier?

I remember there was an issue with some weird harmonies and them sounding off key, well, probably true, but in Defying Gravity, there are some weird harmonies.
It's just strange.

I could try and analyse it with my mad musical skillz, but I can't be bothered.
But there are just some harmonies that aren't the most consonance of a note combination and just say if you are having an off night than it just sounds bad.

My remembering of details is fuzzing.
So in conclusion: I'm a harsh, harsh judge.
I watch too many things on YouTube.
I'm a massive, massive fangirl.

Good times.

Enjoy!

I owe you guys my Inadvertly Ask Elyse post that was due on Friday, yes, the 2nd of the Month is when I do that, I was just preoccupied this time.

I've had a really bad couple of weeks. In many ways I have more or less given up on many things. I actually have a series of things I just can't do when things get bad.

Read, play guitar and write. The reading is long, long gone, the guitar I do because I have to and not often enough.
The sign is actually how long the nails on my left hand are. Just one of those things that only I notice, but you know putting it out there.


That is pretty much excuse for my lack of rambling lately.

But I have something I need to write, that I don't know if I'll post on here or if I'll even write it. I'm not sure it even really matters any more.

The thing that I have learnt, not even recently, just something that was emphasised for me about two weeks ago.

No one is irreplaceable.

No one.

Everyone can be replaced.

It's not the same, no it will never be the same, obviously, but that doesn't mean it can't happen.

That little niche thing you have happening at the moment?
Nope, that can be replaced.


I used to think in my job that they can't get rid of me because I'm the only person that knows how to do the finance stuff.
Well, that's now. Those kind of things can be taught, because they were taught to me and I'll probably have to show someone else to do it eventually.
That's just how it goes, that is how it HAS to go. You are replaceable because things HAVE to change. If things stay the same, things get fucked up.


Life is just about change and dealing with that change.


That's how it goes.
You are dealt your hand, one card is discarded and another card is added to your hand. If you try and go no, I'm not playing that, then you aren't playing the game and you are sitting there with a deck of cards doing nothing and getting no where.


I don't know if I ever thought I was actually irreplaceable.
I have always seemed to be in transient, I don't expect things to stay for very long that way.
In terms of people, I don't expect people to hang around very long and will generally help them with that.
The thing is that once they are gone, someone will take their place and it's not the same, but there is that role being replaced.
And really, no one wants to hear that.


I can think of an actual example of this, but I'm not going to write it down because I think I'll get in trouble for it.
It's not the same, but at least in some ways, it is a replacement.
I'm not saying it's a bad thing, nor is it a good thing. The fact someone had to leave, not cool, but someone new came along, that's cool.


Why is this important?
Because right now, right now I feel like Faith in This Year's Girl.
Yeah, it is a Buffy reference.
Which is funny because I think it is a Buffy reference that is making a reference to the Little Match Girl.
That's what is happening to me.
And Facebook is taunting me with it. I keep seeing the photos, the statuses, the little comments from something I was meant to be at. But instead, I was at home, with the internet as my window to look in.

I got to see who replaced me. I got to see all of that. 



I'm letting it taunt me. Yeah, I'm letting it win.
But I was never that good at the fight.


I want to be remembered.
Not necessarily as a person that changed lives or did something amazing, I just want to be remembered. That I was there. That for at least a small part, that I meant something and that had an impact.
That it was real. That I actually mattered and made a contribution for that small window. That there is some tangible thing.



I wrote something about that a while ago, I don't think I posted it.

I'd like to belong somewhere.
Anywhere.
But I won't.
Even in the group that was the haven for the outsiders, I was exactly that, so much so that in an organisation that claimed that everyone was accepted, there was that "Except Elyse" clause.

Yeah, I'm sorry that there is less with the funny in this.
I have to work some stuff out and I'm not exactly sure what do with all of that, so right now, I'm not fun to be around, so my apologies.

I'll think of some awesome things soon to write about.

I think I have a "Why Glee's Version of Defying Gravity is Terrible?" in the works. I really hope someone is getting worked up in the rebuttal about that just by the title!
Elyse... She is going to diss Glee! That Bitch! Oh, you better believe it. I think I'm gonna take some cheap shots at Kurt too. Who is excited about that?
Oh, and "Wow, this band is terrible live- How CD production is destroying expectations of live music" that I think I ranted about recently in real life, but haven't written anything.

I'll also check my drafts.

As always, I do take requests.
Please don't make me make a video with my singing. I've done enough of that and it never ends well for the internet.

It's been a while, but yes, yes I am alive.

I just have no motivation to write.
I can point you to the people to thank about that.

Not expecting it to change soon.

Sorry for those who enjoyed this blog.
You're welcome to those who are enjoying my demise.

Elyse