The Ramblings of Elyse

It has occurred to me many times in the past that I have a freakishly memory.

Like super freakish. Kind of bizarre, but it is very helpful to remember most stuff.

One of the things I tend to remember is people, you know the people that you come across only a handful of times?
I remember those people.

I also tend to see those people a lot and I don't approach them or acknowledge them in any obvious way, because that's not how I roll.
I let it go and be all, hey I know that person, and then I wonder, do they remember me or are we deliberately waiting for the other person to make the first move?

Other people I know they know who I am, and I know who they are, we just sit in stale mate, waiting for something. I'm not sure what.
I find it kind of amusing when I run into people I know at the Station and we are friends on facebook and what not and we don't acknowledge each other's presence. Oh, Facebook friends... Clearly, just like real friends!
It has now gotten to the point where it would just be weird to be all like "hey! How have you been?" because it is like "You have seen me for about a year on this platform and now you are talking to me, what do you want?".
It goes hand in hand with my assumption that except for a few people, anyone that starts a conversation with me on some form on electronic media wants something.
I can't talk, I do the same thing, which might be why I'm cynical about it.

Though, why I wrote this?
I was on a train with my brother in law, my ex-brother in law? I don't know... My sister's ex-husband... I think they are actually divorced now.
I saw a dude on the train that kind of looked familiar and then I realized wait, that is my sister's ex-husband! Who I haven't seen since before he left my sister to run off to Adelaide to be with his brother's wife in April, 2007.
Now, seeing someone who you kind of recognize on a train and then realising it is someone you want to have no contact with but then need to make sure it's them, it leads to the whole trying to look at them and look for the signs that it's that person but without looking like you are looking or without getting eye contact.
It's difficult. It's awkward.
Especially since this is the dude that led to a massive family breakdown? In many, many ways?
The dude that was responsible for having his brother try to commit suicide?
The dude that used his son as a pawn to manipulate my sister and the rest of my family?
So yeah... It was him.
Though, I figure he was doing the same thing.
Except he did the whole as they got off the train method.

It's just strange. I'm not sure I know how I'm meant to react, I'm not sure how I am reacting.
It's just weird.

Some days I find myself wishing I didn't have a good memory, that I could forget some many things.
Then I realise that before 1999 I can hardly remember a thing other than small snippets, and it isn't until 2001 that things are clear.
But after that, so many, many things I remember.
It's not always good.

Oh well...
What can ya do?