The Ramblings of Elyse

Ok, these are just the questions I was asked about my hate Spike.

The other video is just much longer.
I'm pretty sure this involves less swearing.

Also, apologies for the audio being crap, this one was just recorded on my laptop and the mic distorts at a point and can't handle my Spike hate.
I assure you, it bothers me a lot, so apologies for that.

I probably should have also edited the end, just to clean it up a bit, but that one was no editing, so once again it will be things that annoy only me.

Today, I got involved in a conversation with someone and it left me feeling, really, really angry and you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

Then I got to thinking what I was angry at.
And I was angry about the fact that someone was meant to have their shit together and have some stuff organised.
That stuff hasn't happened.

The bigger issue is, if you can't organise something, ask someone to help you. This is what being a leader is about. Seriously, fucking delegate. Basically, get your shit together.

I was pissed off at this, so very, very pissed off. Have we identified a theme?

Then it hit me.
I had promised to make my Spike rant into a video and I promised this sometime ago and had yet to follow through.
Thus, how could I be pissed off at someone for not organising something when I had been lying to people on this for so long?

So, I did it.
I set up my video camera and started ranting.
The rant goes for about 29 Minutes and 29 seconds. Minimal editing and I would say, very much NSFW since there is a lot of swearing.
There are also a lot of comments about my pants, but I am wearing them, so it's pretty much the swearing that is an issue.

Elyse's Angry Spike Rant from Super Flyse on Vimeo.

I also need to add that I love the screen shot of that, I feel I'm about to fight ninjas or break out into a rap.

Hello, I'm Elyse and I'm a commuter.

I take public transport a lot. Like a lot. Mainly trains, used to be fair bit of buses, but mainly trains.

Unlike on the roads, with those drivers, we commuters don't have any written rules or actual laws. It is chaos out there! SHEER CHAOS!

And that's where I have decided to write about the rules of the commuter.

This isn't just about "I'm on a train? What of it?" This is also about those times when you are standing at a door and think "I wonder if there are rules about this?" and the answer is "YES! MOVE OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY"

So first up, the laws of the commuter.

1. They are called headphones. Invest in them, no one wants to hear your music no matter how "good" you think your music, it's not. This is not a discotheque, just stop it. My murderous train rampage will be started when I'm sitting on a train and then some douche without headphones is all "Check out the awesome Beatles Song", Helter Skelter starts and so does my murderous rampage.

2. The seats. If I am going to have to climb over you, I take no responsibility, if I a) lose balance and end up in your lap, b) stand on your foot, which may lead to point a and finally, I have a messenger bag... It can be heavy, it can hit you in the face.

These three things can be solved quite easily if you either move over or get up and let me in.

3. Personal hygiene. It's close quarters in there, often without windows. Just for the love of god, do something about it.
Or follow these simply rhyming rules: No Reeking, No Streaking.

Which follows nicely, the train is not the place for personal hygiene things. DO NOT SPRAY DEODORANT!
Seriously, close quarters with no windows. Who does that? Fuckers.
Cutting of nails or anything like that. Not the place of the train.
Just for the record, I personally don't have issues with putting make up on the train, since I understand the value of sleeping in, but don't get shitty at people who knock you and all that. You take the risk, gotta deal with the consequences.

4. Doors!
People get off the train first. Let people GET OFF THE TRAIN FIRST!
It creates better flow of traffic and more room.
If the train is packed and you are sitting on the stairs or standing in the foyer type thing, you may just have to get off the train and stand on the platform to wait for people to get off so you are not standing in the way.

People want to get off the train, you are in the way, if you get taken out, bitch, you probably deserved it.

5. Unwanted conversation.
Don't start conversations with me on the train.
I'm not a people friendly person. The train is for quiet conversation with people they know, reading, listening music through headphones and sleeping. Ok, I guess, some people do work on their laptops or watch DVDs, but these are quiet activities.

As a general rule, listening to music on your iPod or personal music device while talking to other people is exceptionally rude and shouldn't be done.

6. School kids... We hate you. Accept this, one day you'll be us and hate the next generation of school kids and the answer is yes, you were once that annoying and obnoxious. Just shut up already.

Which conveniently brings me to my next point. Doorways.

The rule of doorways... People who are getting out, have right of way. Trains, buses, elevators, classrooms. LET THE PEOPLE GO!
Then you enter.
This is the golden rule of doors.

The second golden rule of doors, is don't stand in them.
Oh, you smoke?
That's great, smoke somewhere that is not in the FUCKING DOORWAY!
People need to go in and out, and if I have my guitar case on me, I'm not going to take any prisoners.

My main issue of the day, is get out of the way of door ways.

Some general rules of commuting and walking in crowded areas:
*Stay to the left, unless over taking.
*Don't stop suddenly otherwise some people are gonna fall like dominoes and there will be tears and violence and it won't be pretty.
*If people are running, not jogging, but running coz they are running late or the like, they should dodge and weave, but it's good practice to get the fuck out of the way, because they'll hit you and fuck you up.

I believe this concludes my rant.

Just stay out of the fucking doorways, and we'll be sweet.

Yes, yes I am. Sorry gang.

That being said, when one of my friends die, I have permission to change his status to "is dead." I currently don't have his password, so the conversation then went to the fact his dying words will be his facebook password.

I don't have a plan like that.
Maybe I should invest in one.

Though, I'll just accept someone writing a blog about how much they hated me and how they are super glad I'm gone.
If it is a vlog that features the Final Countdown, I shall resurrect myself, high five you, punch you, consider eating your brains, and the return to my grave to rest in peace.

If you didn't get the song from Once More from Feeling in your head, I have failed as a person.

Which is my segue!
Yeah, see what I did?
Yeah, that's how I roll...

Long ago, I promised a Spike Hate vlog!

No, it's not ready yet, but day I had a promising start to this.

After having an awesome day of sleep, NHL and packages that feature cowbells! That thing is loud AND AWESOME!!
I started to play around with my computer.

What exactly did I do?
I messed around with recording stuff! Yeah!
Which is interesting since I was recording myself... That is just weird and my software is not the right software I need for it. But still, not the point!

After messing with recording, I moved onto finally uploading the video of Chris' wedding.
Which my favourite parts include just my commentary about various things. It is VERY amusing.

As I was doing this, which was a long process since my camera was deciding to not connect to the computer. I fixed it up.
Still having problems with my iMovie, but I'll move on.

I got there in the end and I came to the conclusion, that maybe to make my vlog about the Spike hatred I don't need my traditional partner in crime in these things AND NOT have all the writing reversed, coz that's important if I want signs for some reason.

So, huzzah!
Looking like this vlog won't be a Mary Egan Production... Or unless, I just still use the name when flying solo.

Now I'm conflicted.

Ok, I'll just put it for a vote:
Should the Spike Angry rant being a Mary Egan Production, a Double Thumper Production or it doesn't matter since it will be just Elyse in front of a wall talking about the hatred of Spike?

Ok... I'm going to have to include some dramatic recreations and make it a production...

Damn, that wasn't planned.

Oh well...

That's a tangent.

Have you missed it?

There has been a lot of Buffy lately.

There was another blog I've been meaning to write...

And dammit, I wasted all my good words on Buffy.


It is a sad day for my muse.

Maybe, just maybe it I wait long enough it will come back to me.

I ramble a lot, it's only recently that there have been some themes to these ramblings. I'm not sure how I feel about that.
I'm not the theme based person, I just sit at my computer open up a window and start typing.

I just hope for the best, which is generally insightful and life changing, but am happy with kind of amusing and filled the time, otherwise what else is the internet useful for?

I've been kind of worried lately, I think I've gone and got me a life.
I mean between the working and the studying I have no time! NO TIME! Today, I even tried to spend my break at uni napping and not harassing Rob in the library. What has become of me?

It's mainly the work.
For 2 weeks every three months, I have me a second job. It involves harassing people. It's funnily enough very similar how I got my current job. I think I must be very good at ringing people and getting information out of them.

This week is the survey week. It's also exam week. The exams I'm worried about are next week. That's not to say I'm not worried about tomorrow's exams, just less worried.
Panic never does any good.
Except if I feel a need for some attention, then well, WOO! PANIC!

Wow... that was bitter...

Umm...
So yeah...

This life thing.
It's new and confusing and I'm not sure I care for it.

How do I make it go away?

I was over on Facebook today, yeah, only the once and it's not like it was on my phone at work or anything like that because I would never do anything like that...

Um... ANYWAY...

There I was on Facebook, when I noticed that Adam is finally up to Once More with Feeling.

Yes, it's an episode of Buffy.
If you aren't familiar with it, I no longer know you.

It is indeed the musical episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It is something that is mentioned all the time, especially in terms of TV shows doing musical specials.

The musical is a huge film phenomenon, they have been getting made for such a long time and the 1950s and 1960s were the hey day of the film musical, but they still get their reprises, most recently with the film production of Nine, starring a whole bunch of other people.
Unlike most other genres that have been massive in movies, the musical has never progressed to being awesome in TV.
They have tried, so many times and there have been shows that have been musical in style but not so much in the having characters express thoughts and emotions through song in the vein of the traditional musical.
While Glee is a show that features a lot of music and singing, it is not the same kind of style as a musical.

So, when shows try and do musicals, such as BtVS, Xena:Warrior Princess and Scrubs, the Buffy example will forever be the shining example.

Which as a TV show musical, it should be.
It is pretty awesome and the cast for NON-singers, they do fantastically, but what fun is it if I just lather praise on my two favourite things?
Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Musicals.

Allow me to first say that when it comes to Joss Whedon Musicals, I find Dr Horrible's Sing a Long Blog to be a lot better.
If only because Neil Patrick Harris and Felicia Day are much better singers then the majority of the Buffy cast, which not surprising since it is cast as a musical.
Nathan Fillion does alright, but he isn't much of a singer and can't even compare to NPH, but he plays the douche so well, that he is perfect for Captain Hammer.

Anyway.
Once More With Feeling!

I shall start off with my big controversial statement, now I've stated that I love BtVs and I love musicals, it seems only natural that my next statement be that the two combined is the greatest thing ever. But, it's not.

The controversial statement:
Once More With Feeling is NOT my favourite episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, it's not even my favourite episode of season 6.

That's right.
I went there.

And why?
Why do you ask?

It's called plot holes.

You can try and swoon me with your bard like powers, Joss, but it won't work.
I see your ridiculous plot holes and contradictory statements and annoying things and cement such horrible things.
There are also some flaws with the performances, but you know, plot holes first.

First and foremost, it was Xander that called forth the demon?
The same Xander that seemed to learn his lesson about playing with the dark powers in SEASON 2! Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered, people.
Going back to BB&B (It's a long title, I'm lazy, suck it up) where when he notices horrible things are happening he immediately goes to Giles and is all like "Dude, I fucked up" and while Giles, not happy about it and yells at him a bit, Xander still cops it sweet. (ha!)
Then we fast forward 5 seasons and all of a sudden Xander upon finding out that people are dying because of the singing "Give me an axe and show me where to put it", doesn't own up and go "hey, I summoned the singing demon".

No, that's right, it goes right down to the finale and when Xander sees Buffy almost having the singing kill her, doesn't say a thing for the sake of a very, very bad joke. "Does that mean I have to be your queen?".
The answer should be yes, you don't beat the bad guy and the joke isn't that funny.

Unfortunately, this lack of being accounted for the deaths and destruction that are either in-directly or directly your fault are not in the game plan of the later seasons.
I can't even single out people for that since it kind of happens to all of them.
Responsibility was a major theme of the early season and here it just spits in it's face.

My Spike hate is pretty legendary. Once More with Feeling doesn't make it wane in any way shape or form.
The thing that bothers me most about Spike is "Rest in Peace", and I'm not sure who it is more of a comment on.
But James Marsters, the man can sing, he is actually in a band or was, but either way he can do the singing.
However, this is a musical. Singing is only half the act. The thing with musicals is that it is emotion through song.
It is the conveying of those emotions that set it apart.
This is just a performance thing in general, but you can be technically perfect, but if you don't have the emotion behind the song then it falls flat.

And that is where Spike and the song fails.
It is a rock song. It has the heavier chords and even the theme, when it is sung it needs to have the edge on the voice, a bit like a growl especially since the song is basically "Fuck off Buffy", and it's not there.
It is technically good but there are parts that just have no feeling behind and it should.
The chorus it is particularly bad, when it goes from the acoustic open chords to the electric, distorted power chords, that is when you need that rock edge. The vampire growl.
It's something that is very lacking. I can go through the lines that need something with the rock edge and it's not there and it takes away from the song and you can't have that in a musical, when it's about showing the true emotions.
That's the entire theme of the episode!

It's the one place that it really is out of place since that was totally the feel of the song they were going for.

That isn't going with the whole theme of Spike, who is all about the stalking of Buffy and isolating her and whatever now he is all "stay away" and for the reasoning, according to the commentary that he did the two things that makes every girl want them, telling them you don't want them.
Seriously?
Fuck you, Joss. It's coz of comments like that I hate Joss Whedon.

Let's not forget that the first instance of Spuffy (that's Spike and Buffy together, in the world of the interwebz) is played a joke.

And then of course, it is Spike that saves her.
Not her friends and family that WATCH START TO BURN!
That is a matter of making everyone look bad, so Spike can look good.

Then Giles not sending out the troops so Buffy knows?
What kind of plan is that?
Then again, Buffy was always the one with the plans. She generally had the plan of attack and I'm not entirely sure when that changed, but a little odd.
And Walk Through the Fire is my favourite song, which shouldn't be a surprise since it is totally ripped off my favourite song from West Side Story (the Quintet... which is the song that gets them to the Rumble for those non-name knowing WSS fans).

Plus, fire engines!

The episode really belongs to Anthony Stewart Head and Amber Benson, who break my heart into tiny, tiny pieces with the Standing/Under Your Spell (reprise).
Giles' reasoning is seriously flawed, seriously, seriously flawed.
Good songs don't cover the fact you are abandoning your pseudo-daughter so she can fend for herself?
AFTER SHE DIED AND IS CLEARLY REALLY FUCKED UP?
You fucking kidding me?
They need a better rationale then that.
The dude was fired because of his father's love for his slayer.
Come on, what the fuck ?

It kind of showcases everything that is wrong with season 6- no Giles with shoddy reasoning, Spuffy, Bad Willow and Xander not manning up, not with his demon summoning or his marriage with Anya. Anya called that in season 5, he proposed because they were going to die and he was a pansy and was having second thoughts really, really early on and didn't mention it to Anya?
And even then, didn't even man up to announce to the people there it wasn't happening.
This is not the Xander of yore.

The singing is great, it really is. Except for you know the "hea-van" not which is beyond awful, it is written awful and SMG tries her hardest and it sounds even worst.

SMG really doesn't get enough praise for the episode, she does a lot of singing for someone who doesn't even pretend to be a singer and she does a fine job of it and rarely gets any love for it, since NOT a singer, she wasn't cast as a singer but does it anyway.

Though, David Fury and Marti Noxon... You two will forever be my favourite parts.
Marti, the interwebz hate you, but I don't.
They also have cameos in Dr Horrible.
David Fury is the mustard man and Marti Noxon is the parking ticket lady. They are both writers. David Fury also the puppeteer from Smile Time on Angel.

For some strange coincidences Marni Nixon does the singing voice of Maria in the film version of West Side Story.

Once More with Feeling, you try and I love you, but you'll never be my favourite.
Favourite of season 6 is Tabula Rasa.

I am hoping this be a regular segment since it is my dream, but well, my dreams are weird so let's not call them!

I've been keeping my eye out on my visitors to the site to a handy feature on Google and the best thing about this is let's me know how people get to my site and some people stumble on here from Google.

Well, I'm assuming Google, do other search engines even exist?

Those who stumbled here, I am going to answer your questions, because that's just the kind of person I am.

1. literal song descriptions

I don't know what you are looking for, but I hope you found it.

2. literal dance moves
Literal dance moves are the dance moves that correspond with the lyrics that are being sung at that point of time.
The most obvious example is "put your hands up in the air" and you respond with putting your hands in the air.

This is also an example of peer pressure en masse.

There is a difference between literal dancing and instructional dancing.
For some instructional dancing is that the words in the song tell you what to do, the example of this is the Time Warp from the Rocky Horror Picture Show. It's the chorus (It's just a jump to the right) or for those who are much more disturbed, there is the "Hoedown Throwdown" by Miley Cyrus.
Then again, some of those instructions are pretty messed up and that's why the Hoedown Throwdown will not be a dance sensation. That and it's trendy to hate Miley Cyrus.
But that's not the point.
Pretty sure someone wants it to be massive, because there are quite a few instructional videos on how to do the hoedown, one by Miley herself, which really emphasis what the hell are with those words?

Kids these days.

So they are some classic examples of instructional dance, then we have literal moves.
Literal moves are an interpretation of the lyrics into dance.

I honed my literal dancing in my youth group where we play songs and they have actions, though, I've never really done them since I'm a guitarist, which I thank God for every day.
But our actions are largely based on the literal dance movement.
Which is in our song they mention a fish, then there is the swimming fish that goes with it.
One song has the line "So we leave our boats behind", that is a rowing action.
It is very childish and very funny to watch new people react.

But how does this relate to the dance floor that I'm sure our questioner wanted to know.

So, I've decided to go to my iTunes and find a random song that has been released and was deemed successful.
And we have "Sk8er Boi" by Avril Lavigne, for those who don't know, I know you are lying. For some Elyse related trivia, I sang this song at Karaoke in Montreal, yeah. I name drop, geographically.

Now here are Elyse's Literal Dancing Move Tips:
"He was a boy"- Try some stereotypical manly moves such as the manly head nods to the rhythm, it's only small, it's just the one line.
"She was a girl"- I imagine something prissy
"Can I make it anymore obvious"- Imagine that you are in the middle of class and trying to say something about the class dreamboat to your bestie across the room and when they don't get it, when you are telling them after class how obvious it was that the dreamboat is in love with the bestie. The hand action that go with that are what you should do.
"We was a punk"- Kind of head bang with that annoying trademark Avril photo shoot pose. You know the one I'm talking about.
That actually took a lot longer for me to find then I expected, I was actually a little disappointed.
"She did ballet"- You do ballet. Can I make it anymore obvious?
"What more can I say?"- Similar to the Can I make it any more obvious, except the bestie is clearly in denial, so it's the action you make when you've laid down all the evidence and you are like "Dude! It's totally there! Why else would he be outside your window watching you sleep?"

The other general tips are anything where they mention a musical instrument do the air of that instrument, in most music they'll only be like guitar, unless you listen to Billy Joel and then it's the Piano Man.
So, air guitar.
Air guitar is also an appropriate literal dance move for "rocking out" or "rocking up" or "rockstar" or anything like that.
Any kind of farewell salutation is waving, but not in that super excited I've been waiting for 3 hours for you to show up and had to fight off 327 other groups to keep this table. This is the you are supporting your bestie in the bitch off and she has just made the ultimate call and there is no comeback so storms off, the wave that is "suck it bitch".

And there are Elyse's tips to literal dancing.

3. buffy bar à vampire "johnny's bar"

The bar in Buffy where the vampires hanged out was "Willy's Bar" or as the sign said "Willy's Place", there was also the Bronze where lots of vampires hung out.

I don't know who Johnny is vampire kind good luck.


And that was Elyse, helping out the Google people who got lost in the awesomeness.

'til next time.