Masterchef is a horrible, horrible show. Seriously, stop with the crying.
Though, those people are clearly uncomfortable hugging and it's like the producers are making them do the hugging and that makes me laugh.
That wasn't actually the point, but I realised that I judge television, and well most elements of popular culture just ridiculously harshly.
I like to think I don't do that to real people, but I probably do. I should do it more, I've dreamed of being the judgmental friend. I'd make an awesome judgmental friend. Does anyone need one?
As I sat and watched the Glee Finale that aired in Australia tonight, I started to think about the plot points that annoyed me and put them on Twitter.
There were a lot, so I thought I'd move them to a blog post.
I then recalled what watching TV does to me and decided to create a new segment of my blog for when things strike the mood.
The "Elyse Harshly Judges", I will take suggestions of things that are both bad and good, and I will watch and the judge... harshly.
It seemed like fun at the time.
Now, as a warning, it is in the title, HARSHLY judging. If you disagree, put it in the comments, if you agree put it in the comments.
Seriously, people can you start writing comments, I need some external validation here. I will reply to them.
That being said "Dude, that show was AWESOME" is not a disagreement and it might not necessarily be a view I disagree with, it's the belief that just because I am being mean and pointing out flaws means I can't be a fan and a statement upon which I call bullshit.
But to start off this, I have decided to go with the Glee Finale!
Huzzah! Glee!
And I don't think I need to add this but...
This is the second time I've seen the episode, the first time was a mysterious event several weeks ago that I can't recall anything about. The second time was this evening when it aired on Channel Ten.
I am trying to remember how it starts. Does it start with the flashback to Puck and Quinn?
Yeah, my memory has been off all day. I'm hoping I don't get delirious sick again.
I'm glad they did the flashback because they really did needed to show that it wasn't Puck taking advantage of a drunken Quinn.
And I'm just going to put it out there, that in the finale, I do love Quinn and Puck together. Especially at the point where they are standing there looking at the baby. I can buy it, I can completely buy Puck standing there and telling Quinn that he loves her more at that point, I buy it more that if at that point Quinn said she would keep the baby, he'd do anything in his power to try and do right by both of them and it's sweet. Plus, calling the baby Beth, with the song.
Puck as a character, is not a good guy, he is the bad guy and the massive douche, but in moments like that it kind of counter acts it.
So, Puck telling Quinn he loves her, that I love, that I am sold on.
Finn telling Rachel he loves her? No.
Shue telling Emma he loves her? No. No. No. No. No. NO no no no no. NO! NO! No no no NO!
16 noes? Really?
Ok, so the Puck and Quinn part is my favourite part of the episode because basically, I love a bad boy with a heart.
I am trying to think of another fictional example, but I've got nothing, so it might just be Puck.
Oh... Pacey started off as kind of a douche, but he made up for it.
I think Cordy is my Buffy equivalent.
Anyway.
So, my Shue and Emma?
So, Puck is MEANT to be a douche. Will is meant to be a good guy, but is kind of a douche.
My main issue with the whole Emma declaration of love is that she made it quite clear they were over at the begining of the episode and in a previous episode, but dude, she is seeing someone else. THAT WASN'T A SECRET!
Actually, I have multiple issues.
One is a general construct of film and television and that is the grabbing people to make them turn around and listen. I just really don't like that. That's just not cool. It is just such a controlling gesture and it is not something that is going to go places.
And the biggest issue I have, they are in the middle of the school hallway! THE SCHOOL HALLWAY! And are teachers!
Now, I'm old, so I now know way more teachers than students or at least more people studying to be teachers than I know high school students.
But pretty sure you can't go making out with people in the hallway in the middle of the school day.
I was actually going to ask someone but amazingly I had none of those people online.
Ok, there are actually very few people that I'd go "hey, man, you know how you are a teacher or gonna be a teacher, how do you think school policy would go with you having a public display of emotion followed by some making out in the middle of the hallway?" or quad, depending if you had hallways. My school didn't have hallways.
This is a follow on issue, there is so frequently yelling happening in the principal's office, that you can apparently hear while standing in the hallway... that is a major lane of movement for students.
What the hell show?
I can't sustain my disbelief about that.
I spent a lot of time in the office while I was at school, yes I was a trouble maker, surely this isn't news to any one and they tried to minimise the whole "look at me sitting in the office" thing as much as possible, so why go for the glass office show? Why?
I think I've read a fair bit about Sue Sylvester and the saving the Glee, I actually don't have a problem with it and basically it comes down to two things for me and that is to quote Kurt from the previous episode "she's one of us, and no one humiliates her except for us" and Sue's line that "as an educator" in the judges scene.
That for all the big talk and the heartlessness, which frankly is what makes Glee great, that she is an educator and on some level is in it for the kids and those are layers and I love them. Especially since she never told Will that she voted for New Directions or took the praise from her.
Horrible people who come through in the end work so much better for me than the sanctimonious bullshit from the good guys we are meant to barrack for.
As for the Finn and Rachel I love you, I seriously enjoy the fact she never says anything in return. I think I would have liked it better if there was something with Jesse.
I don't like that there were NO scenes with Jesse and Rachel in the finale.
I don't think Jesse is the villain of the piece. I can accept that he loved Rachel, and Rachel hurt him and he lashed out to hurt her back, maybe I bringing my own belief into that, but it works for me.
I don't see Jesse twirly his mustache or anything.
Oh, Idina, Idina, Idina, I love you, but there are so many aspects of your character that are strange.
You can still have a relationship with Rachel!
It's just different. You tried to find her, and then I think Shue fucked it up by telling her to basically stay away.
But dude, come on!
She is reaching out, don't cut her back like that.
It breaks my Idina loving heart right there.
My biggest issue with the Idina character was actually in last week's episode with the egging of Rachel by Vocal Adrenaline, Idina, that shit shouldn't fly with you!
GO TO TOWN ON THEM! Defend your daughter!
The adopting thing, not much of a problem, just the whole Rachel reaching out, do something with that. Just fucking hug her already!
I do talk about hugging an awful lot. I think you people should just hug me more.
People I know, not random strangers, unless you approach with caution.
Now the moment:
SONG CHOICE!
New Directions or the Glee Kids...
They went with a Journey Medley so we could get a nice line about how life has one real begining and one end and everything else is just middle.
Which is the whole journey part and thus Journey Medley.
Here it is, just because I care about you people.
I think Don't Stop Believing isn't one of their strongest choices.
Though, I really wish they'd do more stuff with harmonies and be more choir like and less solos with back up vocals.
In terms of starting from the back of the room thing "Don't Rain on My Parade" was a better candiate for it and a better song and well, starting at the back of the room is just inconsiderate to your audience.
You only do that with a chorus, so that EVERYONE can see what is happening. Two soloists in the crowd?
OF a two story theatre?
Yeah, fuck off. That's just inconsiderate and not working the crowd or the judges.
I don't like the Journey medley. They could have done better.
Just saying, don't like it.
I do enjoy Santana and Puck getting solos though in Don't Stop Believing but that key change is horrible, just atrocious.
It only goes up one step, but oh em gee... It just doesn't work and I can't even work out why, I just do not care much for it. Stop with the key change.
That and they look like they are having fun, which is was a big part of their schtick and seriously, they are having an awesome time.
Now onwards to Jesse St James and his Funky Bunch.
That isn't a choir. This one is completely just Jesse and backup singers.
Now, I'm not sure about Glee and Lip syncing, I'm going with yes because I've watched television before but will happily admit to being wrong but I just doubt it and I don't have an issue with it, it's only if they were performing live where I have that issue but whatever.
The lip syncing was just off, so it made it really obvious.
That and the choregraphy with the throwing around just annoys me, it's like hairography or we just cast Rob Mills to play Fieryo and need to do something to make up for his lack of actual talent so we'll make him run around a stage.
I don't think it should have won a choir competition because it wasn't a choir.
I was surprised they went with the full length of the song, but it was cut with Quinn so it made sense, I thought it was time cut, but apparently not.
I would have preferred shorter song and some kind of scene with Rachel and Jesse because come on! COME ON! You can't just go declaration of love from Finn and then starring kind of longingly at Jesse and then I get no emotional resolution for that. Bah!
Curses to you show! CURSES TO You!
That and Jonathon Groff just can not do that ending and it killed me for it, the American accent really came through and it is just not how it goes.
Too much screaming on the high notes too. Mr Groff, you are no Freddie Mercury.
VA, you are no rest of Queen.
There are ready made harmonies there! USE THEM! Embrace them!
Where did the crowd even get the glow sticks?
The non-competition stuff.
Ultimately, I felt this episode just wanted to make me cry.
For the record it didn't, on that same record, I have no issues admitting to things that make me cry: Montages to Sarah McLachlan (Becoming Part 2, Toy Story 2), the Dawson's Creek Finale, A League of Their Own, Lexi, Cordy's farewell scene in You're Welcome, Toy Story 3.
They tried so hard and threw everything there, but alas, show, you tried too hard and I saw what you were doing.
I really hope that it is Burt Hummel that taught Finn what it meant to be a man, because I think Shue is kind of douche (especially to Emma), where as Burt is just all kinds of awesome... Especially to Kurt and well, to Finn as well.
So that's the Glee kids singing to Shue... While Sue looks on!
That's just straight song, obviously.
I was mainly excited that Other Asian and Shaft got lines!
Overall, it didn't blow me away.
Too much going on and not enough resolved.
The song choices were not the greatest, but I did like that the judges portraying themselves were arseholes. That is a little bit awesome right there.
My favourite thing to happen was the fact they didn't win, basically, in reality, they wouldn't have. I know it's boring TV, but they would have spent weeks, if not months rehearsing their set and getting it perfect and mastering.
However, Television makes it hard because no one wants to see that, but since I'm taking it into consideration.
I don't think I judged harshly enough.
I'll work on it.
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