The Ramblings of Elyse

I love Google.

I'm not going to lie, I love Google more than I love a lot of things.
In fact, I am going to give you a list of things I love in order.

1. Patrick Joe and my other assorted musical instruments
2. Buffy
3. Google
4. Adam (He is dreamy)
5. Angel Muppet
6. My loyal readers

I wonder how many people are going to get offended by number 4 there.
I imagine that I'm gonna get sent a message being all like "Why do you love Adam more than me?", so Loyal Readers, I love you too.

I once declared my love for Google to one of my friends and I said "what doesn't Google know?" and Lexi was all "how to love?"
I took this as a challenge, and did what any other sane person would do.

I googled "How to Love".

And I thank God every day that I did that because now, now I know how to love.

Thank you, WikiHow, now I know how to love.
And it evens includes a picture to help you on the way.

I feel more equipped for the world knowing the 6 steps of love and I will go through the six steps and followed by how it is going to help me love Google more. KT, feel free to replace your name with Google if that will make you feel better.

1. Saying it.... (Google, I love you. I heart you. I less than three you! )


2. Empathize.... (Yes, Google you are a website. I understand that is what you do and that may impact how you do things)

3. Love Unconditionally... (Google, I will love you, even though I know that sometimes you won't give me the right answers in my first attempt and it might take me several attempts to get there but I know we will eventually get there.. TOGETHER. I will love you through all of that.)

4. Expect nothing in return... (Google, I understand that you are a website and many people love you, they love you as their outlet to the web, in their quest for knowledge, to find out so many things, you lead the way. I'd be naive to think that I'd be the only person to love you and I know, that you are a website, who helps so many and could love so many that, I know this love may be unrequited. But it is something... It is something...)

5. Realise it can be lost... (Dear Google, I know there will be day where your awesome searching abilities will be beaten by something or the internet dies, but I will live in the now where our love is strong. All my love, Elyse)

6. Never stop loving... (There's always Yahoo!)



Now, this knowledge combined with another helpful page I found on WikiHow.
Seriously guys, WikiHow... It will teach you how to live...

And also apparently help you pick up...

How to hug a guy... ROMANTICALLY>....

Hot.

I don't think it's really Ramblings of Elyse to go through this blog, I don't want to corrupt the minds of the readers...
But readers, just remember if you are planning to go out, find yourself a man to hug just keep these in mind.

• If you don't think you're ready to try all of this, don't worry. Wait until you're ready - then you can really enjoy it all.
• Don't force the hug. He might not be ready for it, so just wait for another time.
• Don't attack the guy. Show him how you feel, but let him take the lead.
• If things go past either of your limits, stop it right away and let each other know how far your limits are.
• Don't hurt the guy. And don't let him hurt you. Everyone has their squeeze limit.
• Only apply this to a guy you actually like. Never toy with a guy's feelings, especially if it's because you want to make someone else jealous. It never ends well.
• Make sure that he actually likes you because if he doesn't,it will be really awkward in the end.

Ok, I don't want to appear sexist, I'll see what I can find out for the boys.



I'm back! Ok... I guess you couldn't really tell if I left.

One thing this lesson has taught me is that man, I am such a whore, I give up my hugs so easily.
I don't think Jesus hugged anyone like that.

So, Boys, how to hug a girl. 
Everything you need to know about how to hug a girl...
Now, this isn't about hugging romantically, but I think it could be renamed "How to pick up with your hugs".

But it does warn me:
""Couple" status is not a requirement for hugging a girl, but you should at least be on familiar terms with her. Hugs between opposite-gender friends are often reserved for more significant moments, such as when parting before moving away, or returning after a long absence. Still, as long as you are respectful toward her, an occasional hug is probably fine. If it is too awkward for one or both of you, it may be best to avoid initiating one, but don't rule out the possibility of a hug being appropriate at some later point."

The best way to make sure we all know what the hug is "if it is just a friendly hug, don't hold on for more than 3 seconds and laugh when you let go".



Good to know, WikiHow, Good to know.

I'll be paying attention to this now when I go to hug some boys. Yeah, that's right... I said plural. What up? 


You've taught me that I should just stick to my Christian Side Hugs...



Yes, I can't get enough of that video and EMBEDDING! What's not to love?

OkWikiHow from the not Relationships section...

Here's a good one.
How to avoid being shot by a Police Officer
I have some good advice for this.

Don't break the law. Don't carry weapons. If there is a cop with their gun out, don't be a douche.
Simple advice.


And finally, something I can use in my every day life.

I realise that is the assumption that you actually click on the list.
If it helps, one of the tips is "Don't be a geek, or a nerd. Be well liked among your class, by chatting and giggling with everyone. Make sure everyone has heard of your name before!"

I wonder if I can get tips on being a nerd...
Oh... They do. Awesome.

Way to perpetuate stereotypes, Internet! 

Armed with knowledge...
ONWARDS we go!