The Ramblings of Elyse

I like to think I'm a fairly hip person... Oh ho ho...

I'm totally not, but either way, a long time ago and by long time ago I mean November for the wonderful Miss Addict's Birthday last year. I'm totally sucking up because she is currently sitting on my left.

Just for the record, she does know I'm here so I'm not one of her stalkers.

But upon this day, we had pancakes and she informed me of the greatest video ever.

That's right, the Christian Side Hug.

Today, it's particular reference because today is Good Friday and I think Good Friday is a loss to Team Jesus, but he shall rise again on Sunday and thus Jesus created the Three Day Rule.

Actually, that has nothing to do with it, that line just made me laugh.

Anyway, so the Christian Side Hug.

When I first saw this I was convinced it was a parody but upon discussion and looking at it. No, these people are serious.

Totally serious!

And that is disturbing because it is saying that Christian's shouldn't front hug.
Now, I go to church every now and then, I'm also part of a Christian youth group and bro, we are all about the front hugging!

The thing I find most offensive about this is the fact that it is claiming that a hug is sexual. And as a result ALL hugs must be sexual.

This video condones violence, there is a line about how if you go front huggin' one of the dudes then he'll call your mama and you'll go home in a coma.

So, front hugging is wrong but beating your friend/girlf/child so much that they are going to end up on a coma.

What the fuck?
Front hugging, not ok, but violence totally ok. In fact condoned.

The thing that bothers me most in that is the line about how Jesus wouldn't condone front hugging, no pretty sure he wouldn't condone the violence but would be all about the hugs.

Now, then it comes a question that I've never considered, is the front hugging problem occurs when it is between a man and a woman or are same gender front hugs ok?

Or do these rappers find some girl on girl front hugging really hot. Can you imagine them telling all their crazy Christian friends "Oh em gee! The is totally two girls front hugging right now! Fucking hot, dude!"

Now, of course, guys can't front hug because apparently that is weird.
Which leads to the awkward man hug, which is my favourite hug of all time.

Sorry, I went to a good place of the hilarity of some of my favourite awkward man hugs of all time.

Let's go back to the video.
Gimme that Christian Side hug, that Christian Side hug, I'm a rough rider, filled up with Christ's love.

Rough Rider?
Really?
One, that is a brand of condom in the States.
Which gives a hilarious image... disturbing yes, but kind of hilarious.
Now, if we ignore that and keep with the hugging bad but violence yes.

What the hell?

No front hugs and kissing...
I think this goes back to my own issue of why do front hugs HAVE to be sexual?
What the fuck is wrong with you if you think that.

I just can't get over that, come on dude, if you are making a big deal out of it, you have much bigger issues then I think I can help you with.

I do a Christian side hug, I do the Christian side hug, when I am sitting next to someone who is clearly upset and then you need to some christian side hug, some Christian side hug.

So, front hugs are inappropriate.
I've learnt a lot from this video.

Next time I see you people, remember, you ain't no rabbi, you ain't no priest, so rise up off me like something with yeast.

Now, I've realised I've front hugged... IN A CHURCH...
I've sinned, I'm sorry Jesus.